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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to keep her off in this extreme heat?

91 replies

Lookingforadvice2 · 19/07/2021 16:39

We live down south, temperatures hitting 30+ and have actually had a weather warning for small children and vulnerable people staying safe because of high risk of sun/heat stroke etc.

DD has autism and has struggled with the heat the last few days, and also has eczema and the heat has made her skin incredibly itchy too.

She’s only got 4 days left of term, and temperature is meant to be dropping on Thursday/Friday so she could go back in then, but WIBU to keep her off tomorrow and Wednesday when the temperature is meant to be even hotter than today?

There’s been some issues with her school anyway so I don’t have very good communication with them, and I don’t know what is being put in place to keep the children cool in school.

DD was quite poorly over the weekend due to the heat, so I’m worried, and was thinking it would be easier for her to relax at home without having to wear clothes and to air her skin a bit to avoid a full on flare.

I’m at home all the time anyway due to being her carer so it makes no difference to me in terms of work etc.

OP posts:
AlwaysLatte · 19/07/2021 20:31

If your instinct is to have her home with you then do it!

Cloudfrost · 19/07/2021 20:31

Sorry but you are ridiculous to keep a child off school because of hot weather. What do you think they do in hot countries??? And no schools don't have air conditioning in hot countries unless they are private... Do u think they don't have issues like autism or ecsema in hot countries??

Hankunamatata · 19/07/2021 20:34

Surely her special school wont mind if she has been screaming all day

BrutusMcDogface · 19/07/2021 20:37

I teach in a special school and many of our children have been quite frankly miserable today, no matter what we’ve done to try and keep them cool. Keep her at home; the school should understand.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 19/07/2021 20:39

@thecognoscenti

How old is she? I wouldn't keep her off, I don't think it sends a great message. In life sometimes you have to do things you don't like and you can't really pretend to be ill to avoid them.
🙄
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 19/07/2021 20:40

@Cloudfrost

Sorry but you are ridiculous to keep a child off school because of hot weather. What do you think they do in hot countries??? And no schools don't have air conditioning in hot countries unless they are private... Do u think they don't have issues like autism or ecsema in hot countries??
In hot countries they are used to it. They are acclimatised. Here we don't get a chance to get used to it, and for a young child with autism and severe eczema that can be really difficult to cope with. What's ridiculous is your reaction.
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 19/07/2021 20:41

@Hankunamatata

Surely her special school wont mind if she has been screaming all day
Wtf???
Cloudfrost · 19/07/2021 20:48

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

So what u are saying in hot countries they just get on with it? Lol
If you don't do well with hot weather, u don't get acclimatised, even if you are born in a hot country. You simply learn ways to cope with it. Which is what the OP needs to help her DC do, find ways to cope with the heat. And that's not by avoiding school. Is the DC gonna skip work when older when its hot? Hmm

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 19/07/2021 20:51

[quote Cloudfrost]@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

So what u are saying in hot countries they just get on with it? Lol
If you don't do well with hot weather, u don't get acclimatised, even if you are born in a hot country. You simply learn ways to cope with it. Which is what the OP needs to help her DC do, find ways to cope with the heat. And that's not by avoiding school. Is the DC gonna skip work when older when its hot? Hmm[/quote]
Possibly if here autism is so severe she can't cope.
People who live in hot countries can cope because they live in it everyday, so yes eventuallypeople do become acclimatised Hmm. We don't get hot wether long enough for that to happen to us. Again, you are being ridiculous.

NoLeafClover · 19/07/2021 20:52

@thecognoscenti

How old is she? I wouldn't keep her off, I don't think it sends a great message. In life sometimes you have to do things you don't like and you can't really pretend to be ill to avoid them.
'pretend' to be ill? Seriously? Yes, the OP's daughter has clearly been pretending to have autism, just so as to get a couple of days off school. Fucking hell.
NoLeafClover · 19/07/2021 20:59

Is the DC gonna skip work when older when its hot?

Is there a difference between a very young child who is struggling a bit, and a fully grown adult with a job? I mean, at that age I watched The Land Before Time at school and cried my eyes out. I've somehow managed to never do that at work.

Do you really think a day off school at fecking five years old means that one will be skiving days off work, twenty odd years later? If so, well, that's pretty fecking stupid.

AGirlCalledJohnny · 19/07/2021 21:02

@Cloudfrost

Sorry but you are ridiculous to keep a child off school because of hot weather. What do you think they do in hot countries??? And no schools don't have air conditioning in hot countries unless they are private... Do u think they don't have issues like autism or ecsema in hot countries??
I live in a sub tropical climate, all the public schools have A/C. HTH
Cloudfrost · 19/07/2021 21:06

@AGirlCalledJohnny I lived half my life and went to school in Greece. There was no air conditioning. I never got acclimatised to the heat, I just coped during the hottest spells, and I knew lots of friends who did the same

Sirzy · 19/07/2021 21:07

@Hankunamatata

Surely her special school wont mind if she has been screaming all day
They may not mind, but nobody wants a child being that distressed all day do they? And not forgetting that impact that can have on other children especially in a specialist setting.

She is struggling massively with excema to the point she is feeling ill with it. Keep her home where she can do what she needs to keep cool and comfy

AlexaShutUp · 19/07/2021 21:09

Given her autism and her response to the heat, I think this seems reasonable. And I am in the camp that usually thinks people in this country generally make far too much fuss about slightly raised temperatures in the summer!

AdelindSchade · 19/07/2021 21:12

Sounds reasonable to me given her age and needs.

ChequerBoard · 19/07/2021 21:14

[quote Cloudfrost]@AGirlCalledJohnny I lived half my life and went to school in Greece. There was no air conditioning. I never got acclimatised to the heat, I just coped during the hottest spells, and I knew lots of friends who did the same[/quote]

That's great - well done you. Were you also suffering from severe eczema and autism at the time?

Because if not, your experience is entirely irrelevant.

shouldistop · 19/07/2021 21:14

Definitely keep her off. I don't see how it's of any benefit to her to be in school if it's making her that poorly. Keep her at home in front of a fan and give her plenty of ice lollies and cold drinks.

Rosebel · 19/07/2021 21:17

Keep her off. I actually think it's ridiculous for children to be in school when it's so hot and so close to the end of term.
My eldest is absolutely covered in heat rash and so uncomfortable. I'm not sending her in for the last day and a half of term (my other dd is issolating).
Their school is like a sauna, windows don't open much and not allowed air conditioning on due to Covid.
Just keep her home and comfortable

RaginaPhalange · 19/07/2021 21:19

Keep her off, its only 4 days. Sounds really awful for her.

greatestdancer · 19/07/2021 21:21

Keep her off! It’s coming to the end of term now too.

Ilikeknitting · 19/07/2021 21:28

They don’t do much at school in the last few days of term. Keep her home with a clear conscience and get your paddling pool set up.

georgarina · 19/07/2021 21:40

She's 5, she's got a few days left of term, and she's really unwell and screaming in pain.

OP I think you know what you think is the right thing to do, you don't need anyone else's permission to keep her home

Carrotinthesky · 19/07/2021 21:55

I have a daughter with SEN, and she's non-verbal.
A characteristic of her syndrome is that she doesn't function well in hot weather.

When she was at school (a special school, obvs) I would always keep her at home and cool when the mercury was high 20s. The school were happy for me to do that, as my house is cooler than the greenhouse of a school. Yanbu

saraclara · 19/07/2021 22:01

I'm an ex-specialist school teacher. Keep her home. The people telling you that she has to learn to cope, clearly have no idea of the sort of sensory issues she faces. If she's already in a specialist school at five, and wearing pullups, it's ridiculous to have the sort of expectations of her that one would have of an NT child