Out of control dog disturbing baby in garden - help?!

[soirritating]

I'll keep it as brief as possible. Basically I have a 3 month old baby and we are often out in the garden in the pram in the nice weather. Sometimes she falls asleep whilst out there (obviously I put her in the shade and stay with her just rocking her etc).

My issue is that next door have a small noisy dog which seems to have some sort of motion sensor on it. Literally every time there's any sort of movement, like me standing to rock her from sitting, the dog runs to the fence (I can see through the small slats) and starts yapping very loudly. And it's constant, continual yapping, until the neighbour eventually comes and retrieves it and what I would describe as half heartedly tells it off, eg. "stop it, come inside". Dog ignores her and continues. By this time my baby is wide awake and crying. This is every single time we are in the garden and make any sort of movement. Her "tellings off" are also few and far between - sometimes she just leaves the dog to yap at us through the fence.

As well as waking her sometimes when she's asleep it has also given her a shock and made her cry her on one occasion when we were out in the garden on her playmat - the best shaded area is right by my garden fence so that's where I was sitting with her lying on her mat. Next thing the dogs comes bounding over and is yapping inches from where we are. She startled and cried instantly. I was so upset on this occasion I just went back inside.

I know dogs bark. I get that. But i have owned a dog previously and if it was barking through the fence every single time a neighbour and her small baby were out there I'd be taking it inside. She doesn't seem to do that. So often we just end up back inside so baby isn't upset and can sleep, which I don't think is fair.

I don't expect silence in my garden by any means. But a dog constantly up at the fence, inches from where you know there's a small baby?? I just wouldn't let this continue. I'm starting to feel like I can't use my garden.

AIBU?

@Waitrosedisaster

Did your baby tell you she was crying in shock and fear? I hadn't realised she was so advanced for a three month old. Maybe you can send her round to your neighbours to have a word

When you become a mum you do something called learning to read your baby and be attuned to their needs and different cries. I won't bother trying to explain that to someone who resorts to passive aggressive sarcasm.

The two people walking the dog let it poo on my drive. That’s grim. Absolutely grim. They watched the poo come out of its bum onto my brick drive. Where my kids play. And then scooped it up into a plastic bag. And probably threw it into a tree or bush if the local area is anything to go by.

@2021ismyyear

The two people walking the dog let it poo on my drive. That’s grim. Absolutely grim. They watched the poo come out of its bum onto my brick drive. Where my kids play. And then scooped it up into a plastic bag. And probably threw it into a tree or bush if the local area is anything to go by.

They're complete shitebags. But remove the dog and they'd still be shitebags. It's not related.

Imagine if I took a shit on your private land? Or if I bit your child in the park? Or snarled at your child? Would that be ok? Or if I started playing “vengaboys… we’re going to Ibiza” every time you entered your garden repeatedly. No of course not!

Dog owners think they are the centre of the universe.

OP, in life you have to learn that sometimes, you need to take steps to solve problems yourself. Not everyone will be willing to change their habits/way of life to please you. Granted, the dog in this case could be trained better, but even if you asked the owners to do this, it would be quite a long process and not one I can see them agreeing to.

The answer to your problem is very clear. You have said yourself that you choose to sit in the spot where the dog can see you. It is this specific spot which causes the dog to bark. You've repeatedly said you cannot sit anywhere else in your whole garden (even though this would be your problem) because there's no shade anywhere else. You've point blank ignored the comments, including my own, about making shade, by getting a parasol of some kind. That way, you can move away from the fence and you can enjoy your garden, without potentially getting into a neighborhood war, as you suggest.

To be honest, the whole situation just screams drama/attention seeker. You posted for advice, you've been given some on how to solve your problem and you're not even interested in listening.

@2021ismyyear

Imagine if I took a shit on your private land? Or if I bit your child in the park? Or snarled at your child? Would that be ok? Or if I started playing “vengaboys… we’re going to Ibiza” every time you entered your garden repeatedly. No of course not!

Dog owners think they are the centre of the universe.

Oh, stop it. You've met two arseholes who happen to have dogs.

We could sit elsewhere in the garden, it's just that's the best place to sit in the shade when it's hot. But yeah. I could do.

I think you’ve already answered your own question.

Sit away from the fence and put up plants/a temporary fence on your side and see if it helps.
If it doesn’t then you can go and have a chat to her but YABU to be annoyed that you’ve brought your baby outside to sleep and then get annoyed that outdoor noises are waking them up - just take them inside to sleep.

Do you know anyone in the military that could lend you a landmine to slip under the fence?

You keep emphasising how much distance there is between the houses and how there's absolutely no way your neighbours could ever be annoyed by your kid shrieking. Which rather suggests that your garden is big enough that you could take the initiative and sit further away from the fence. Just do that.

I'm on your side OP.
I do think that it might help to try and screen the gaps in the fence, so the dog cannot see throgh; although it might bark anyway at any noise or sensation of people being there, even if it cannot see you.
Even if rented, you can always Maguyver a temporary, portable "solution". That's what I would do.
But I also try and do the unexpected where my awful neighbours are concerned. Yesterday was horrible with pounding music, drunken shouting OVER the pounding music, shouty kids AND adults...... I could go on.
I blew them some bubbles over the fence this morning.

@Waitrosedisaster

OP, in life you have to learn that sometimes, you need to take steps to solve problems yourself. Not everyone will be willing to change their habits/way of life to please you. Granted, the dog in this case could be trained better, but even if you asked the owners to do this, it would be quite a long process and not one I can see them agreeing to.

The answer to your problem is very clear. You have said yourself that you choose to sit in the spot where the dog can see you. It is this specific spot which causes the dog to bark. You've repeatedly said you cannot sit anywhere else in your whole garden (even though this would be your problem) because there's no shade anywhere else. You've point blank ignored the comments, including my own, about making shade, by getting a parasol of some kind. That way, you can move away from the fence and you can enjoy your garden, without potentially getting into a neighborhood war, as you suggest.

To be honest, the whole situation just screams drama/attention seeker. You posted for advice, you've been given some on how to solve your problem and you're not even interested in listening.

I responded to an earlier pp about the parasol idea or similar so I didn't feel it necessary to repeat that. I said it was a good idea.

@2021ismyyear

My dogs don’t do any of those things .

That’s a bit like saying all posters on here are obnoxious.

Oh if only there were only two arseholes.

The amount of dog poo bags in trees. Dog poo on my pram wheels. Dog poo posts on Facebook. Bites in newspapers. Aggressive dogs on my local Facebook website. A notice from the local school due to child being bitten on her face by a dog she walked past. The amount of posts today about dogs being left in hot cars.

There’s more than two arsehole dog owners sadly

@thecognoscenti

You keep emphasising how much distance there is between the houses and how there's absolutely no way your neighbours could ever be annoyed by your kid shrieking. Which rather suggests that your garden is big enough that you could take the initiative and sit further away from the fence. Just do that.

This stop being so precious OP

@Blue4YOU

I had two dogs (only one now). She goes ballistic at our neighbour’s robot lawnmower. She lasts a minute before I have her indoors. However I’m a carer for my DD so can (usually) not always get to her to stop her (lure her with treats/hosepipe - scolding doesn’t work on her) but if your neighbour is WFH they may not be as able to get to the dog. On MN everyone seems to think that all dogs are trainable to the same degree. They aren’t m. Often small yapping dogs were used as *@guard*” dogs hence I suppose the highly irritating sound. Mine were hunting dogs, so not interested in guarding perimeters etc but if they found a hedgehog- they’d probably wake the village up baying at it. I could never train my dogs to walk off lead - but I raise this stuff because training dogs isn’t as easy as it seems (I could make mine do all kinds of things but other things not). I’d really suggest going round and asking if there’s a way to make it work for you both. I’d actually think squirting water would piss off the neighbour and probably make the dog worse (some of them try to catch water).. of course you can be in any part of the garden but do can their dog. I’m very much a live and let live person but if it bothers you that much let them know- they might have absolutely no idea. If someone asked me to do something about my dog, I’d try my best (though she’s really not a nuisance unlike my neighbour ms dog).

Your correct about no dogs being the same with training. My son has 2 whippets (a breed that virtually never barks) and one of them was so easy to train, and very unusual for a whippet he can walk off a lead by my sons side and has excellent recall. My sons other whippet has to stay on a lead or a long lead as she is scared of other dogs and trys to run away if one comes over to say hello, My son said he thinks his first whippet was easy to train as he has colllie in him going back a long way in generations, but his other whippet is pure whippet.

As a rule I am not a dog lover but do love my sons whippets as they are so affectionate, not noisey or agressive.

In your situation I would have to have a friendly word with the neighbour and ask if they could perhaps cordon off the part of the fence the dog barks through. At least they would then be more aware of how it was affecting you and your baby and may try harder to stop it.

@thecognoscenti

You keep emphasising how much distance there is between the houses and how there's absolutely no way your neighbours could ever be annoyed by your kid shrieking. Which rather suggests that your garden is big enough that you could take the initiative and sit further away from the fence. Just do that.

Their garden is much larger, about 3 times the size. Hence the distance.

Also what is a robotic lawnmower @Blue4YOU

Note to self, need to train dogs to use toilet indoors.

OP doesn't want advice.

@Waitrosedisaster

Have a look through my earlier comments and you'll see I haven't "point blank" ignored suggestions- I've engaged with many of them.

@soirritating

Or what about a little pop up gazebo in the area you want to use ?

You need to establish what the trigger is .

My dogs can’t see our neighbours in the garden but if they popped their head over the wall where they could see them they would bark .

Buy a parasol for shade and practice tolerance - yapping dogs are annoying but these things happen when you live in close proximity to others. My neighbours are all incredibly loud but that’s just life until I buy my own island

@DumbestBlonde

I'm on your side OP. I do think that it might help to try and screen the gaps in the fence, so the dog cannot see throgh; although it might bark anyway at any noise or sensation of people being there, even if it cannot see you. Even if rented, you can always Maguyver a temporary, portable "solution". That's what I would do. But I also try and do the unexpected where my awful neighbours are concerned. Yesterday was horrible with pounding music, drunken shouting OVER the pounding music, shouty kids AND adults...... I could go on. I blew them some bubbles over the fence this morning.

Love this 😂

@Charlize43

Do you know anyone in the military that could lend you a landmine to slip under the fence?

DP is ex military as it goes ..... 😬😂

As PP has said, OP doesn't want advice, she wants some drama and someone to justify her going to start an argument with her neighbours.

@gardeninggirl68

You cannot seriously expect them to take the dog inside every time you are out there??

Not their fault you feel you can only sit next to the fence. Change your own habitat to suit you

This place is turning batshit again

Where exactly CAN dogs go that mumsnet approves of?

Don’t know about bat shot but it’s certainly very oppositionalist. People come here for a bunfight. If the OP had been my dog gets wound up by next door’s baby AIBU to say we’ve been here x years, it wouldn’t hurt a fly and they should chill there’d be as big a pile on. Also no, dogs shouldn’t bark in garden. I certainly don’t let mine and prioritised training it not to. @soirritating