Out of control dog disturbing baby in garden - help?!

[soirritating]

I'll keep it as brief as possible. Basically I have a 3 month old baby and we are often out in the garden in the pram in the nice weather. Sometimes she falls asleep whilst out there (obviously I put her in the shade and stay with her just rocking her etc).

My issue is that next door have a small noisy dog which seems to have some sort of motion sensor on it. Literally every time there's any sort of movement, like me standing to rock her from sitting, the dog runs to the fence (I can see through the small slats) and starts yapping very loudly. And it's constant, continual yapping, until the neighbour eventually comes and retrieves it and what I would describe as half heartedly tells it off, eg. "stop it, come inside". Dog ignores her and continues. By this time my baby is wide awake and crying. This is every single time we are in the garden and make any sort of movement. Her "tellings off" are also few and far between - sometimes she just leaves the dog to yap at us through the fence.

As well as waking her sometimes when she's asleep it has also given her a shock and made her cry her on one occasion when we were out in the garden on her playmat - the best shaded area is right by my garden fence so that's where I was sitting with her lying on her mat. Next thing the dogs comes bounding over and is yapping inches from where we are. She startled and cried instantly. I was so upset on this occasion I just went back inside.

I know dogs bark. I get that. But i have owned a dog previously and if it was barking through the fence every single time a neighbour and her small baby were out there I'd be taking it inside. She doesn't seem to do that. So often we just end up back inside so baby isn't upset and can sleep, which I don't think is fair.

I don't expect silence in my garden by any means. But a dog constantly up at the fence, inches from where you know there's a small baby?? I just wouldn't let this continue. I'm starting to feel like I can't use my garden.

AIBU?

@toocold54

We could sit elsewhere in the garden, it's just that's the best place to sit in the shade when it's hot. But yeah. I could do.

I think you’ve already answered your own question.

Sit away from the fence and put up plants/a temporary fence on your side and see if it helps.
If it doesn’t then you can go and have a chat to her but YABU to be annoyed that you’ve brought your baby outside to sleep and then get annoyed that outdoor noises are waking them up - just take them inside to sleep.

Yes I will consider a parasol or similar (already said this).

I don't bring my baby outside to sleep though, as I've already explained in my previous posts. She sometimes just falls asleep whilst I'm out there with her.

I’m not reading it that way at all.

I actually like dogs but being yapped at constantly would really annoy me and I wouldn’t like feeling like I couldn’t use my garden because of it.

I think I’d probably just put the baby to sleep in the house tbh. The dog is annoying but I don’t think there’s much you can do. Your baby won’t need to sleep through the day eventually anyway.

Hi @soirritating. This is difficult from both sides I think. It is often expected that dog owners are able to control their dogs like robots and that they will be perfectly trained. But this isn't always possible, either because the owners do not know how to train a dog or have no desire. Certain breeds have difficult behaviours too that can be really hard to deal with and people give up (like terriers and dashunds are super yappy). The dog is just behaving like a dog and either defending its territory or is afraid - scared dogs often act aggressively. I understand it's upsetting. Behaviour like this needs training out of the dog and it can be really hard, and l expect the owner has given up and just puts up with it.

I think you should talk to the owner kindly to see if they would be willing to help stop this, but I also think you could do some things to help stop the behaviour. Please don't squirt the dog with water, it won't solve the problem. The dog needs to be desensitized to you being in the garden. One thing you could do is go into the garden without your baby and and treat it. You can use a dog clicker, or say 'good', and give the dog a treat (maybe check with the owner first). If it barks, wait until it stops and make your sound and give a treat. You should get to the point where the dog will associate you being in the garden with good things. It's called 'click the trigger' if you want to read up on it.

Yes this isn't ideal and the owner should do this. The best way to go about this would be if the owner could be the one treating the dog whilst you're in the garden, but I've given the advice above on the expectation that they won't do this.

I understand that may be way too much that you are able or willing to do, but it will help and is easier than moving house or not using your garden!

@Waitrosedisaster

As PP has said, OP doesn't want advice, she wants some drama and someone to justify her going to start an argument with her neighbours.

No. I wanted to know what the consensus was on whether or not I am being unreasonable in my expectations, hence posting in AIBU. I have repeatedly said I don't want to start a war with my neighbour. I've also said I'm the sort of person who literally leaves a baby group part way through if she cries so as not to district others. Do you really honestly think I sound like someone who would relish a war with a neighbour?

*disturb others

@malmi

You can't train their dog but you can train their owners. You need to make it their problem. Whether the dog is outside, jog up and down the garden, or otherwise keep moving, so the dog barks and the neighbours have to deal with it. They will either keep the dog inside or train it not to bark.

Or just sit somewhere else? The idea of marching up and down like a little tin soldier to deliberately annoy the dog is just so utterly ridiculous...

@falaff

Hi *@soirritating*. This is difficult from both sides I think. It is often expected that dog owners are able to control their dogs like robots and that they will be perfectly trained. But this isn't always possible, either because the owners do not know how to train a dog or have no desire. Certain breeds have difficult behaviours too that can be really hard to deal with and people give up (like terriers and dashunds are super yappy). The dog is just behaving like a dog and either defending its territory or is afraid - scared dogs often act aggressively. I understand it's upsetting. Behaviour like this needs training out of the dog and it can be really hard, and l expect the owner has given up and just puts up with it.

I think you should talk to the owner kindly to see if they would be willing to help stop this, but I also think you could do some things to help stop the behaviour. Please don't squirt the dog with water, it won't solve the problem. The dog needs to be desensitized to you being in the garden. One thing you could do is go into the garden without your baby and and treat it. You can use a dog clicker, or say 'good', and give the dog a treat (maybe check with the owner first). If it barks, wait until it stops and make your sound and give a treat. You should get to the point where the dog will associate you being in the garden with good things. It's called 'click the trigger' if you want to read up on it.

Yes this isn't ideal and the owner should do this. The best way to go about this would be if the owner could be the one treating the dog whilst you're in the garden, but I've given the advice above on the expectation that they won't do this.

I understand that may be way too much that you are able or willing to do, but it will help and is easier than moving house or not using your garden!

Yes this is definitely more than I am willing to invest, I'm afraid. It's really not my job to train someone else's dog. I have neither the time nor the inclination for this.

OP seems to like to reply to all the comments wishing harm on the dog . I feel sorry for you neighbour I really do. You don’t want advise you want drama . The world doesn’t revolve around your baby deal with it .

*advice

Well, carry on as you are then. You're the one with the problem, nobody else.

The idea of marching up and down like a little tin soldier to deliberately annoy the dog is just so utterly ridiculous...

If you can describe picking up my washing from the basket, pegging it to the line, and standing to shush and rock baby in the pram as "marching up and down like a tin soldier" then yes, that's what I'm doing.

The idea of marching up and down like a little tin soldier to deliberately annoy the dog is just so utterly ridiculous.

Laughed out loud 😂😂😂.

OP seems to like to reply to all the comments wishing harm on the dog .

Please elaborate?

@ForeverSausages

The idea of marching up and down like a little tin soldier to deliberately annoy the dog is just so utterly ridiculous.

Laughed out loud 😂😂😂.

So did I. Utterly batshit comment.

@soirritating

The idea of marching up and down like a little tin soldier to deliberately annoy the dog is just so utterly ridiculous...

If you can describe picking up my washing from the basket, pegging it to the line, and standing to shush and rock baby in the pram as "marching up and down like a tin soldier" then yes, that's what I'm doing.

I don't know what this is about, since I was very clearly responding to someone else? Interesting that you failed to quote the bit that made that clear

@GreyhoundG1rl

Ah I see I missed that.

No worries

More than you're willing to invest? Dog treats? Oh you're never going to talk to your neighbour about the dog. You're just going to seeth inside and post on MN. Many people have posted helpful stuff, but dog owners are selfish. Just carry on being angry and upset.

I feel sorry for you neighbour I really do.

Eh?!

I know this place can be brutal but..... eh?!

I've literally never once interacted with the woman. Why do you feel sorry for her exactly?

OP, this forum is full of dogs over children types. Totally ignore their nonsense. YANBU in the least bit. You and your baby are entitled to feel safe and at ease in your own garden and anyone who allows their dog to disturb and intimidate their neighbours is frankly a rubbish neighbour and dog owner.

@ForeverSausages

More than you're willing to invest? Dog treats? Oh you're never going to talk to your neighbour about the dog. You're just going to seeth inside and post on MN. Many people have posted helpful stuff, but dog owners are selfish. Just carry on being angry and upset.

Don't take it out of context.

I mean "invest" in terms of time and energy, not money. I'm not standing at the fence of my garden clicker training someone else's dog ffs. I have a baby to care for. And even if I didn't, this is not my job! If you can't see how wildly unreasonable that expectation is of me, then I don't wish to engage with you further.

You could get a good quality shade for the pram and move the pram somewhere else and as you’ve already said you’ll investigate get a parasol - a good quality tilting one with a base should do the job.

How old is your other child?

YANBU, what a pain in the arse.

I don't let my dog bark too much as we have neighbours all around. I go out and get her in. But it can be hard if owners don't know how to address it.

This could be tricky. I think to solve it properly you'd really have to work with the neighbour to sort it out, using a gradual training of acclimitising to the dog/baby, over several sessions. Depends how they're training the dog. You could offer to pay for a session or two with a behaviourist/trainer.