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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Out of control dog disturbing baby in garden - help?!

602 replies

soirritating · 18/07/2021 14:37

I'll keep it as brief as possible. Basically I have a 3 month old baby and we are often out in the garden in the pram in the nice weather. Sometimes she falls asleep whilst out there (obviously I put her in the shade and stay with her just rocking her etc).

My issue is that next door have a small noisy dog which seems to have some sort of motion sensor on it. Literally every time there's any sort of movement, like me standing to rock her from sitting, the dog runs to the fence (I can see through the small slats) and starts yapping very loudly. And it's constant, continual yapping, until the neighbour eventually comes and retrieves it and what I would describe as half heartedly tells it off, eg. "stop it, come inside". Dog ignores her and continues. By this time my baby is wide awake and crying. This is every single time we are in the garden and make any sort of movement. Her "tellings off" are also few and far between - sometimes she just leaves the dog to yap at us through the fence.

As well as waking her sometimes when she's asleep it has also given her a shock and made her cry her on one occasion when we were out in the garden on her playmat - the best shaded area is right by my garden fence so that's where I was sitting with her lying on her mat. Next thing the dogs comes bounding over and is yapping inches from where we are. She startled and cried instantly. I was so upset on this occasion I just went back inside.

I know dogs bark. I get that. But i have owned a dog previously and if it was barking through the fence every single time a neighbour and her small baby were out there I'd be taking it inside. She doesn't seem to do that. So often we just end up back inside so baby isn't upset and can sleep, which I don't think is fair.

I don't expect silence in my garden by any means. But a dog constantly up at the fence, inches from where you know there's a small baby?? I just wouldn't let this continue. I'm starting to feel like I can't use my garden.

AIBU?

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:09

@thecognoscenti

YABveryU. Your baby (sorry, 'small baby') is the most important thing in the world to you - but not anyone else. No one else should have to change their behaviour to suit you or your kid. Suck it up.

Wow that's an interesting outlook.

So for example, If someone wants to hit my "small baby" over the head, that would be ok, right? Or let their dog run at us in a park and bite her? No one needs to modify their behaviour to suit us, so these things are ok, yes?

Ridiculous comment.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 18/07/2021 16:09

Most dog owners are selfish.
Some dog owners are selfish. As are some cat owners. As are some people, full stop.

soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:10

@Cheapskatewedding

Don’t put your baby outside and expect the rest of the world to be quiet to accommodate you.

Rtft. No one is expecting "the rest of the world" to be quiet. Such hyperbole.

Also she's in my garden, not randomly outside.

OP posts:
ForeverSausages · 18/07/2021 16:11

@2021ismyyear

Dog owners are some of the most selfish people I have ever encountered. In the last month alone I’ve seen 1) a dog shitting on my private drive (the owners did pick up but still my private land) 2) an out of control dog jumping up at me snarling. Whist on a lead and when I reacted I got asked by its aggressive owner “you got a problem”

That would piss me off no end op. Not much you can do. Most dog owners are selfish.

Dog owners are selfish? What about cat owners? Parents? Those 2 people you encountered were selfish. 2 people.
thecognoscenti · 18/07/2021 16:11

@Cheapskatewedding

Don’t put your baby outside and expect the rest of the world to be quiet to accommodate you.
Yep.
soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:11

Dog owners are some of the most selfish people I have ever encountered.

Starting to see that from some to the comments on this thread! Forget befriending the neighbour or the dog - she's likely to a selfish arsehole of this thread is anything to go by ...

OP posts:
thecognoscenti · 18/07/2021 16:12

'She's in my garden' - yes, and the dog is in its owners' garden.

Waitrosedisaster · 18/07/2021 16:12

I'm usually the first to disapprove of selfish dog owners, however in this case I think you're being precious. You have decided the only place in your whole garden that you can possibly sit is directly in the dogs view. Of course it's going to bark, it's protecting its territory, it's a dog. You on the other hand are a human with more intelligence. You don't just sit there sulking because the dog is barking, move to a different part of the garden!

Can you just imagine the conversation with the neighbours.

OP: urm can we talk about your dog please? It keeps barking at my baby
Neighbour: oh I hadn't realised, when do he bark at your baby?
OP: well I like to sit as close to your fence as possible in direct eyesight of the dog and when I do that, it barks at me. I keep doing the exact same thing and he keeps barking, I don't like it
Neighbour: urm can you sit somewhere else in the garden?
OP: well I suppose I could make shade using gazebos or a parasol or whatever but why should I move out of the dogs direct eyesight to solve this problem? That's far too reasonable.

soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:13

@Waitrosedisaster

I'm usually the first to disapprove of selfish dog owners, however in this case I think you're being precious. You have decided the only place in your whole garden that you can possibly sit is directly in the dogs view. Of course it's going to bark, it's protecting its territory, it's a dog. You on the other hand are a human with more intelligence. You don't just sit there sulking because the dog is barking, move to a different part of the garden!

Can you just imagine the conversation with the neighbours.

OP: urm can we talk about your dog please? It keeps barking at my baby
Neighbour: oh I hadn't realised, when do he bark at your baby?
OP: well I like to sit as close to your fence as possible in direct eyesight of the dog and when I do that, it barks at me. I keep doing the exact same thing and he keeps barking, I don't like it
Neighbour: urm can you sit somewhere else in the garden?
OP: well I suppose I could make shade using gazebos or a parasol or whatever but why should I move out of the dogs direct eyesight to solve this problem? That's far too reasonable.

Again. I am sitting my baby in the only shaded part of my garden. Ffs. Are some people just deliberately winding me up now?!

OP posts:
LoislovesStewie · 18/07/2021 16:13

I've been in my back garden today. On one side, a barking dog, on the other toddlers shrieking as they have a giant paddling pool. One day your kids will be outside shrieking. Oh yes, they will!

ForeverSausages · 18/07/2021 16:14

Although just realised a dog shit on your driveway, the owner picked it up and you think they're selfish. The amount of cat shit I picked up in my garden this morning and I weren't even bitter about it. Enough MN today 😂.

thecognoscenti · 18/07/2021 16:14

@soirritating

Dog owners are some of the most selfish people I have ever encountered.

Starting to see that from some to the comments on this thread! Forget befriending the neighbour or the dog - she's likely to a selfish arsehole of this thread is anything to go by ...

What? Selfish arsehole? Why? Dogs bark. Some more than others.
Waitrosedisaster · 18/07/2021 16:14

Hence my comment about a parasol?

PattyPan · 18/07/2021 16:14

@Cheapskatewedding

Don’t put your baby outside and expect the rest of the world to be quiet to accommodate you.
Stupid comment. If OP didn’t have a baby the dog would still be annoying.
soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:15

@LoislovesStewie

I've been in my back garden today. On one side, a barking dog, on the other toddlers shrieking as they have a giant paddling pool. One day your kids will be outside shrieking. Oh yes, they will!

That's fine because I don't think my shrieking children will make anyone cry in shock and fear.

OP posts:
Crazydoglady1980 · 18/07/2021 16:16

Please don’t use a water pistol or bottle and squirt the dog with water. This could make things worse and the dog aggressive towards you and/or you children. The dog won’t understand that you are squirting water because it is barking but may associate being squirted with water with you or your children

Youdiditanyway · 18/07/2021 16:16

As others have said, I’d invest in some tall plants to cover the gaps in the fence so the dog can’t see. You mentioned having an older child, are they the sort of age where they’d appreciate garden toys such as a mud kitchen or something? If so, it may be worthwhile propping something like that up against a chunk of it too. Basically block the dogs vision level so it can’t see the motion anymore.

Your baby does need to get used to noises though, are you always in silence when she’s asleep? The general advice now is to promote noise while they’re asleep so they don’t wake up with every sound.

2021ismyyear · 18/07/2021 16:16

I’m within my right not to have dog shit on my private land or a dog jump up at me. I don’t want your dog to even touch me.

The op should be able to enjoy her garden without constant noise.

We have a dog a few doors away. The smell of dog poo covered garden means the immediate neighbours can’t sit outside. It barks constantly and is left outside all the time.

Like I say selfish people.

I would also be worried about dog getting over to your side. God forbid your kid was enjoying garden and the dog managed to get over.

Mind you the owner will just say “but my precious dog is friendly” that’s what they always say before they nip a kid or bit an old person.

“Staffies are sooooo loveable” etc etc.

Some dog owners are not very classy or clever I’m afraid.

Waitrosedisaster · 18/07/2021 16:16

Did your baby tell you she was crying in shock and fear? I hadn't realised she was so advanced for a three month old. Maybe you can send her round to your neighbours to have a word

LoislovesStewie · 18/07/2021 16:16

No, but they might find it irritating, because people just do.

soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:16

Why are so many people missing the point?!

Again - it's not the level of noise per se that is annoying me. If it was just me, I'd put music on in my headphones and sunbathe. It's the fact it startles and makes my baby cry!

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:17

@LoislovesStewie

No, but they might find it irritating, because people just do.

Not the point of my threat though.

OP posts:
FlamingoQueen · 18/07/2021 16:17

That would drive me mad! There is a particular dog that I know that yaps every time someone walks down the (busy) road behind their house and I thank my lucky stars I don’t live near them. I have a dog that will bark and on the second bark is brought straight back in the house!
If I knew the family next door had a baby (they don’t) I would go out of my way to not let my dog disturb them. Everyone has a right to sit quietly in their garden and enjoy it.
Could you set up a parasol in another part of your garden - just for your own sanity? Isn’t there a whistle that you can buy with a high frequency noise that we can’t hear? May be worth having a look at. I think I would also be telling my child (in a particularly loud voice) not to worry about the silly dog next door - it just hasn’t been trained properly Grin

soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:17

*thread

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 18/07/2021 16:17

Like I say selfish people.
Like you say, two selfish people.