Out of control dog disturbing baby in garden - help?!

[soirritating]

I'll keep it as brief as possible. Basically I have a 3 month old baby and we are often out in the garden in the pram in the nice weather. Sometimes she falls asleep whilst out there (obviously I put her in the shade and stay with her just rocking her etc).

My issue is that next door have a small noisy dog which seems to have some sort of motion sensor on it. Literally every time there's any sort of movement, like me standing to rock her from sitting, the dog runs to the fence (I can see through the small slats) and starts yapping very loudly. And it's constant, continual yapping, until the neighbour eventually comes and retrieves it and what I would describe as half heartedly tells it off, eg. "stop it, come inside". Dog ignores her and continues. By this time my baby is wide awake and crying. This is every single time we are in the garden and make any sort of movement. Her "tellings off" are also few and far between - sometimes she just leaves the dog to yap at us through the fence.

As well as waking her sometimes when she's asleep it has also given her a shock and made her cry her on one occasion when we were out in the garden on her playmat - the best shaded area is right by my garden fence so that's where I was sitting with her lying on her mat. Next thing the dogs comes bounding over and is yapping inches from where we are. She startled and cried instantly. I was so upset on this occasion I just went back inside.

I know dogs bark. I get that. But i have owned a dog previously and if it was barking through the fence every single time a neighbour and her small baby were out there I'd be taking it inside. She doesn't seem to do that. So often we just end up back inside so baby isn't upset and can sleep, which I don't think is fair.

I don't expect silence in my garden by any means. But a dog constantly up at the fence, inches from where you know there's a small baby?? I just wouldn't let this continue. I'm starting to feel like I can't use my garden.

AIBU?

Talk to them! Tell them how annoying the dog is, and ask them to train it not to bark at you.

I get it OP. A constant yapping dog can drive you insane. I do agree that treats might work and if owner doesn't like it she can take it indoors

@hawkehurstgang

You have a right to be in the garden with your baby. The neighbour has a right to be in their garden with their dog. Your baby crying might annoy them, their dog yapping annoys you. This is just life with near neighbours.

This is only the equivalent situation if I were to hold my baby right by the fence, whilst she screamed uncontrollably at full volume, right near them on the other side. I obviously don't. When she cries, I pick her up and tend to her, or as I've said before take her back inside. Their dog however, barks loudly and continually, right at us.

I don’t have any advice but you are absolutely not being unreasonable. Aside from the baby issue, their dog should not be barking at every movement in your garden.

you need a water pistol or water spray bottle.
if you are close to the fence spray the dof if/when it starts barking.

@badacorn

Op isn’t demanding that her garden is silent like some kind of sound proofed meditation chamber. The neighbours untrained dog is coming right up to the fence and barking at her while she’s trying to chill out in the garden. That’s not just “normal dog noise” it’s the neighbour being fucking lazy and letting it be a nuisance.

THANK YOU!

@mynameisbrian

I can’t believe folks are suggesting you need to make friends With the dog so it won’t bark at you. You being serious? We should all be able to use our garden space without a dog barking at every movement from another garden. It’s for the owners to sort it out not the neighbours

A good way of shutting the dog up is to teach them you're not a threat, though.

Of course, OP doesn't have to make friends with the dog, but in the long-run it may well make her life a lot easier.

YABveryU. Your baby (sorry, 'small baby') is the most important thing in the world to you - but not anyone else. No one else should have to change their behaviour to suit you or your kid. Suck it up.

Literally that @warmfluffytowels.

And if MN has taught me anything, we should all be perfectly quiet in our gardens and expect the same of our neighbours.

Can I just say to those suggesting that my baby's crying might be irritating to my neighbours. Apart from this being untrue as they won't have heard her crying when she's in the house (and I don't leave her crying in the garden), i'm the sort of anxious mum who has left a baby group mid way through before now because my baby got upset and I didn't want her to disturb the other mums and babies. That's how aware I am of it, and how anxious it makes me. I would not leave my baby screaming at my neighbours. It's a ridiculous and false comparison.

Motion-sensor small yappy dogs are a sodding nuisance.

I can't even open my back door without next-door's little dog yapping at me and hurling itself at the fence. It's my own bloody garden and I can't make a move in it without the hysterical accompaniment from next door.

There have been one or two occasions when it has been particularly persistent and NDN hasn't come out to shush it, when I've had to yell "SHUT UP YOU STUPID DOG" at it. Not so much to make the dog be quiet, but to attract my neighbour's attention.

@ForeverSausages

Literally that *@warmfluffytowels*.

And if MN has taught me anything, we should all be perfectly quiet in our gardens and expect the same of our neighbours.

Again - this is NOT what I am suggesting

@EL8888

Total PFB or PSB. I’m sure your children’s noise gets on the neighbours and the neighbours dogs nerves. That’s just the way it goes living near people

This. Heaven forbid your neighbours find the noise of your child wailing in any way irritating. The dog is communicating in the only way it can, just like your baby is.

Sure, but you're expecting that without having a conversation with your neighbours, and complaining without actually doing anything about it.

You say that's all you're asking, but you haven't actually asked anything - you're just sitting in your garden fuming.

She shouldn’t even need to have a conversation with the neighbours - if they aren’t deaf presumably they know the dog is a nuisance and they need to train it. You can’t just behave like a knob until a neighbour complains, you should know to not be a knob in the first place.

You could try one of those ultrasonic dog whistles.

YANBU our neighbour has a happy thing that goes on and on and on and onnnnnn if it sees us close by so since having DC they put a little barrier so it can’t get close to us and uses the rest of the garden (it’s huge).

I get it from both view points because our dog is massive but if it’s ever tried to interact with a neighbour or their dog I pull it away and take it inside, it’s intimidating to have a massive dog lurching over the fence even if he is pretty docile.

Can you say loudly with them in earshot something like ‘oh no did the dog wake you up’

You seem to only be picking up on the negative comments OP. I did post what I thought was helpful. But yes, MN is full of cats, children, dogs, adults, power tools etc not being welcome in gardens .

Happy = yappy

@ForeverSausages

You seem to only be picking up on the negative comments OP. I did post what I thought was helpful. But yes, MN is full of cats, children, dogs, adults, power tools etc not being welcome in gardens .

Nope, I'm definitely not. If you read through all my replies you will see that I've responded to some helpful suggestions and positive comments in support, too.

You can’t just behave like a knob until a neighbour complains, you should know to not be a knob in the first place.

Excellent rule of thumb.

Dog owners are some of the most selfish people I have ever encountered. In the last month alone I’ve seen 1) a dog shitting on my private drive (the owners did pick up but still my private land) 2) an out of control dog jumping up at me snarling. Whist on a lead and when I reacted I got asked by its aggressive owner “you got a problem”

That would piss me off no end op. Not much you can do. Most dog owners are selfish.

Heaven forbid your neighbours find the noise of your child wailing in any way irritating.

Once again. We are detached from their house and it stands at some distance from our own. So it's highly, highly unlikely that they have heard her crying. (Sorry, "wailing").

@MaskingForIt

You’re being PFB. If you don’t want dogs next door you need to move to a detached house in the country.

You are going to face far worse things than a yapping dog through a fence, I think you might need to toughen up a bit.

I disagree, I live in the country in a detached house and as it’s fairly quiet but I can hear the dog about 5 houses away and it barks endlessly for hours. It drives me crazy, it’s inconsiderate owners who don’t seem to care or leave the dog bored and in the garden while they are out.

Don’t put your baby outside and expect the rest of the world to be quiet to accommodate you.

Our neighbours old dog used to bark whenever I went in the garden, I tried sneaking out quietly but what worked in the end was talking to him. Sounds a bit mad but as soon as he started barking I’d call “it’s alright Buster it’s only me, I’m just going to sit in the garden”. It worked and I’d often stroke him under the hedge too, he’d stopped by the time we had DC.