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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Out of control dog disturbing baby in garden - help?!

602 replies

soirritating · 18/07/2021 14:37

I'll keep it as brief as possible. Basically I have a 3 month old baby and we are often out in the garden in the pram in the nice weather. Sometimes she falls asleep whilst out there (obviously I put her in the shade and stay with her just rocking her etc).

My issue is that next door have a small noisy dog which seems to have some sort of motion sensor on it. Literally every time there's any sort of movement, like me standing to rock her from sitting, the dog runs to the fence (I can see through the small slats) and starts yapping very loudly. And it's constant, continual yapping, until the neighbour eventually comes and retrieves it and what I would describe as half heartedly tells it off, eg. "stop it, come inside". Dog ignores her and continues. By this time my baby is wide awake and crying. This is every single time we are in the garden and make any sort of movement. Her "tellings off" are also few and far between - sometimes she just leaves the dog to yap at us through the fence.

As well as waking her sometimes when she's asleep it has also given her a shock and made her cry her on one occasion when we were out in the garden on her playmat - the best shaded area is right by my garden fence so that's where I was sitting with her lying on her mat. Next thing the dogs comes bounding over and is yapping inches from where we are. She startled and cried instantly. I was so upset on this occasion I just went back inside.

I know dogs bark. I get that. But i have owned a dog previously and if it was barking through the fence every single time a neighbour and her small baby were out there I'd be taking it inside. She doesn't seem to do that. So often we just end up back inside so baby isn't upset and can sleep, which I don't think is fair.

I don't expect silence in my garden by any means. But a dog constantly up at the fence, inches from where you know there's a small baby?? I just wouldn't let this continue. I'm starting to feel like I can't use my garden.

AIBU?

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 18:19

Also just to add, it's not just us the dog barks and barks at. If you look at the diagram, the neighbour's fence that has the boundary with the street - it often runs to there too and barks continuously at people walking past. The other day a little girl with her parents shrieked and ran off due to the shock of it, and then fell over on the pavement when she was running.Sad they seriously need to train the dog.

OP posts:
Moonwatcher1234 · 18/07/2021 18:20

@ArabellaScott

YANBU, what a pain in the arse.

I don't let my dog bark too much as we have neighbours all around. I go out and get her in. But it can be hard if owners don't know how to address it.

This could be tricky. I think to solve it properly you'd really have to work with the neighbour to sort it out, using a gradual training of acclimitising to the dog/baby, over several sessions. Depends how they're training the dog. You could offer to pay for a session or two with a behaviourist/trainer.

That is so unreasonable!! They can and should pay for their own trainer. Why on earth is it OP’s responsibility? OP do not offer this…it will set a very bad precedent indeed.
soirritating · 18/07/2021 18:31

@Moonwatcher1234

I'd never in a million years offer money to train someone else's dog, don't worry. Is this a thing?!

OP posts:
iBrows · 18/07/2021 18:38

It’s still early, go and speak to them! Look how much time you’ve put into this thread - you’ve even posted a diagram ffs!

Why can’t you just talk to the owner, who is probably going to be nice about it. This is bizarre. Is this what a year of social distancing does to our ability to have a simple conversation?!

soirritating · 18/07/2021 18:43

@iBrows

It’s still early, go and speak to them! Look how much time you’ve put into this thread - you’ve even posted a diagram ffs!

Why can’t you just talk to the owner, who is probably going to be nice about it. This is bizarre. Is this what a year of social distancing does to our ability to have a simple conversation?!

No. It's what having a young baby on my own does to my time and mental energy to take anything else on. Hence why I turned here for advice.

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 18:44

Why can’t you just talk to the owner, who is probably going to be nice about it.

I'm not convinced of that. Hence why I'm worried about confronting her.

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 18:46

[quote echidna1]@soirritating Pm'd you[/quote]

Thank you!

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 18:48

In all honestly, with how exhausted I am since the baby, I think I'd probably burst into tears on her doorstep if she said anything negative. Which wouldn't be ideal. I recognise that's my issue - but It's somewhat putting me off going over there.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 18/07/2021 18:48

Well, don't "confront" her, for a start.

LolaSmiles · 18/07/2021 18:57

Your mistake here OP is mentioning your baby. What you should have said is:

“Every time I go outside in the garden next door neighbours dog runs up to the fence and starts yapping - loudly and constantly. This is happening regularly and I can’t spend any time outside. Neighbour is very half hearted about dealing with it. AIBU and what can I do about it”

You've missed the bit that would also say:
"Despite knowing my neighbour does half hearted attempts to call their dog, and despite knowing that being near the fence tends to set the dog off, I repeatedly choose to sit right next to the fence."

The OP could put something in her garden to create shade, but chooses to sit right next next the fence so that she is, by her own description, inches from a yapping dog. It's a bit of a silly decision.

Both the OP and her neighbour are being unreasonable.

Waitrosedisaster · 18/07/2021 19:03

@GreyhoundG1rl

Well, don't "confront" her, for a start.
My thoughts exactly. The way OP writes about her neighbour, she certainly doesn't sound like the blushing wallflower she's making herself out to be. She's dying to get over there for a bit of drama.
iBrows · 18/07/2021 19:04

It’s literally only a conversation, not a confrontation. If you don’t ask you don’t get. It sounds like maybe you’re not coping so well and you’re aiming your frustration at the yapping dog.

ArabellaScott · 18/07/2021 19:04

I'm sorry you're exhausted OP; I remember those days well. It will get easier.

Squirting a dog is just as likely to make it bark more, fwiw. Dogs bark when excited and/or worried or scared.

I think this is most likely to be solved with a bit of discussion and hopefully humour.

Good luck!

toocold54 · 18/07/2021 19:09

Why can’t you just talk to the owner, who is probably going to be nice about it.

I doubt that to be honest as the way she worded it on here came across quite ‘precious’ or ‘uptight’ even if she didn’t mean it to be and if she says the same to the neighbour I can’t see being very nice about it. You only have to read some of the replies on here and it’s not their dog.

If you had come on here and said anything I do the dog barks then you’d have more sympathy. But you said when your baby tries to sleep outside it barks and startles them and makes them cry - which comes across as there should be absolute silence because your baby wants to sleep outside. Whereas a simple solution would be to take the baby in when it falls asleep as outside there’s all kinds of noises like kids playing, loud music, car horns etc that could startle baby.
So if you do have a chat with the neighbour just be aware of how you word it.

cariadlet · 18/07/2021 19:15

I love dogs but constant yapping would seriously piss me off.

soirritating · 18/07/2021 19:23

@GreyhoundG1rl

Well, don't "confront" her, for a start.

I don't mean confront in an aggressive way. Just "raising the issue". Poor choice of wording on my part.

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 19:24

*I'm sorry you're exhausted OP; I remember those days well. It will get easier.
*

Thank you Thanks

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 19:26

Look how much time you’ve put into this thread - you’ve even posted a diagram ffs!

The diagram was to help posters see that 1) my garden isn't huge so moving really far away from yapping dog isn't really possible - I can move slightly further yes, but not miles; and 2) to illustrate that my baby's cries are not disturbing the neighbour due to the distance between the houses. I didn't invest a great deal of time into it tbh - just a bit of editing on a Google map zoom in. Smile

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 19:27

@cariadlet

I love dogs but constant yapping would seriously piss me off.

Same. I love them. I had one for years, we sadly lost her. So I definitely don't have an issue with dogs per se. It really is just the yapping!

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 19:28

I doubt that to be honest as the way she worded it on here came across quite ‘precious’ or ‘uptight’ even if she didn’t mean it to be

Defo didn't mean to be. I'm a nice person. Honestly. Smile

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 19:31

"Despite knowing my neighbour does half hearted attempts to call their dog, and despite knowing that being near the fence tends to set the dog off, I repeatedly choose to sit right next to the fence."

I've already explained that in the absence of anything such as a parasol at this point in time; I choose to locate myself and my baby in the most shaded part of our (not very large) garden. It's not a deliberate "let's wind the dog up" decision. It's logic based on myself and my avoiding sunburn.

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 19:31
  • myself and my baby, that should be. Sleep deprivation...... 😬😬
OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 19:33

It sounds like maybe you’re not coping so well and you’re aiming your frustration at the yapping dog.

Quite possibly. Which is why I came here to gauge if my feelings about it seem reasonable.

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 19:34

The way OP writes about her neighbour, she certainly doesn't sound like the blushing wallflower she's making herself out to be. She's dying to get over there for a bit of drama.

You could not be further from who I am if you tried.

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 19:36

"Dying for a bit of drama" after 3 months with a new baby and being utterly exhausted?

I tell you what I am dying for. A break! Maybe a spa day away from all people. Drama is literally the last thing I need. Confused

OP posts: