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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Out of control dog disturbing baby in garden - help?!

602 replies

soirritating · 18/07/2021 14:37

I'll keep it as brief as possible. Basically I have a 3 month old baby and we are often out in the garden in the pram in the nice weather. Sometimes she falls asleep whilst out there (obviously I put her in the shade and stay with her just rocking her etc).

My issue is that next door have a small noisy dog which seems to have some sort of motion sensor on it. Literally every time there's any sort of movement, like me standing to rock her from sitting, the dog runs to the fence (I can see through the small slats) and starts yapping very loudly. And it's constant, continual yapping, until the neighbour eventually comes and retrieves it and what I would describe as half heartedly tells it off, eg. "stop it, come inside". Dog ignores her and continues. By this time my baby is wide awake and crying. This is every single time we are in the garden and make any sort of movement. Her "tellings off" are also few and far between - sometimes she just leaves the dog to yap at us through the fence.

As well as waking her sometimes when she's asleep it has also given her a shock and made her cry her on one occasion when we were out in the garden on her playmat - the best shaded area is right by my garden fence so that's where I was sitting with her lying on her mat. Next thing the dogs comes bounding over and is yapping inches from where we are. She startled and cried instantly. I was so upset on this occasion I just went back inside.

I know dogs bark. I get that. But i have owned a dog previously and if it was barking through the fence every single time a neighbour and her small baby were out there I'd be taking it inside. She doesn't seem to do that. So often we just end up back inside so baby isn't upset and can sleep, which I don't think is fair.

I don't expect silence in my garden by any means. But a dog constantly up at the fence, inches from where you know there's a small baby?? I just wouldn't let this continue. I'm starting to feel like I can't use my garden.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Dentistlakes · 18/07/2021 16:47

Dog owners really should train their pets. There’s no need to disturb neighbours with barking. If your dog barks early in the morning then take it for a walk to pee. Don’t let it bark and wake up the entire neighbourhood. There are many good dog owners who understand dogs are a lot of work and put in the necessary effort. Unfortunately there are lots of bad ones who can’t be arsed after the first few weeks and their neighbours bear the brunt of their laziness.

I would just put up with it op and look to move asap.

soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:47

@Greenwateringcan

How old is your other child?

15

OP posts:
TrixieThunder · 18/07/2021 16:47

Your mistake here OP is mentioning your baby. What you should have said is:

“Every time I go outside in the garden next door neighbours dog runs up to the fence and starts yapping - loudly and constantly. This is happening regularly and I can’t spend any time outside. Neighbour is very half hearted about dealing with it. AIBU and what can I do about it”

The mention of babies seems to really anger some MNs so they react with ‘PFB’ and such. Living next to a yappy doggy is miserable and really tedious, baby or no baby.

LoislovesStewie · 18/07/2021 16:48

Well then, just pop round and say that the dog seems to bark a lot and is the dog OK, in the sense of being well. That's it really.

Greenwateringcan · 18/07/2021 16:49

@soirritating so they never play music, have mates found, play a console loudly? Hang out with their mates on the corner?

Greenwateringcan · 18/07/2021 16:49

*round

Babypug · 18/07/2021 16:49

The simple and first idea is to talk to your neighbour. I don't know why you wouldn't have done this before posting on Mumsnet?! Your a human they're a human, go speak face to face and see what the situation is. If you can't work it out as you've mentioned youre renting look to move or suck it up.

soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:50

You could offer to pay for a session or two with a behaviourist/trainer.

Really? Confused

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:51

@Babypug

The simple and first idea is to talk to your neighbour. I don't know why you wouldn't have done this before posting on Mumsnet?! Your a human they're a human, go speak face to face and see what the situation is. If you can't work it out as you've mentioned youre renting look to move or suck it up.

Many, many people come here every single day for advice about different situations, asking how to approach it and in some cases just wanting to gauge whether they are unreasonable or not before they tackle it.

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:52

[quote Greenwateringcan]@soirritating so they never play music, have mates found, play a console loudly? Hang out with their mates on the corner?[/quote]

Sorry?

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:53

@TrixieThunder

Your mistake here OP is mentioning your baby. What you should have said is:

“Every time I go outside in the garden next door neighbours dog runs up to the fence and starts yapping - loudly and constantly. This is happening regularly and I can’t spend any time outside. Neighbour is very half hearted about dealing with it. AIBU and what can I do about it”

The mention of babies seems to really anger some MNs so they react with ‘PFB’ and such. Living next to a yappy doggy is miserable and really tedious, baby or no baby.

Yes... I see that. What a strange phenomenon! I'd never even heard PFB before this thread 😂

OP posts:
Greenwateringcan · 18/07/2021 16:53

What part of it didn’t you understand!? I’ve had 3 teenagers. They can occasionally be noisy. Parties. Friends round. Music.

TrixieThunder · 18/07/2021 16:54

[quote Greenwateringcan]@soirritating so they never play music, have mates found, play a console loudly? Hang out with their mates on the corner?[/quote]
What relevance does that even have to a dog that yaps every time OP does something in her garden?

soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:55

@ArabellaScott

YANBU, what a pain in the arse.

I don't let my dog bark too much as we have neighbours all around. I go out and get her in. But it can be hard if owners don't know how to address it.

This could be tricky. I think to solve it properly you'd really have to work with the neighbour to sort it out, using a gradual training of acclimitising to the dog/baby, over several sessions. Depends how they're training the dog. You could offer to pay for a session or two with a behaviourist/trainer.

I'm willing to work with the neighbour in terms of having a conversation with her, but I definitely am not funding their dog training.

OP posts:
Greenwateringcan · 18/07/2021 16:55

Because the op’s other child will also be noisy. Even in a detached noise carried. Especially with the windows open.

I don’t understand why you’d sit ram up against the fence and not think to get a shade of some description and move elsewhere if it was annoying that much.

unwuthering · 18/07/2021 16:55

This thread is absolutely chockers with batshit crazy people, blaming the OP and her baby for...existing! It must be all the pressure of trying to deny reality around covid has caused a few cogs to explode.

Lazy, disaffected, and generally stupid owners of yapping territorial menace of a dog vs baby minding its own business and having a little sleep in the garden... who is at fault? The baby! Now that is dogshit.

Redsquirrel5 · 18/07/2021 16:56

You have my sympathy I think we have it’s brother next door. Yaps constantly at everyone and anyone who is outside at the front, side or back of their garden. It has a loud, irritating, happy bark. They rarely tell it to be quiet. We have a similar fence by the sound of things.

I can see why you would be upset or annoyed. It is lovely to leave a baby in the pram in the garden. Why shouldn’t you be able to and enjoy a little while reading.

I have no solutions. The one next to us barked continuously for over two hours one day eventually I just had to go inside. The neighbours aren’t the sort to do anything about it either. The dogs aren’t trained at all. I love dogs but don’t have one, if I did it would be trained.

Perhaps try the bamboo. I think any moment seen or unseen will set it off if it is anything like the one next door to us.

soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:56

@Greenwateringcan

What part of it didn’t you understand!? I’ve had 3 teenagers. They can occasionally be noisy. Parties. Friends round. Music.

Oh you mean my eldest child? It was your use of "they" without reference to who they were - I thought you meant the neighbour.

Yes, my eldest has mates over. No, they aren't loud. They are also very rarely in the garden and mostly in my child's bedroom. And no, they definitely do not hang out on the corners etc.

OP posts:
thecognoscenti · 18/07/2021 16:56

@unwuthering

This thread is absolutely chockers with batshit crazy people, blaming the OP and her baby for...existing! It must be all the pressure of trying to deny reality around covid has caused a few cogs to explode.

Lazy, disaffected, and generally stupid owners of yapping territorial menace of a dog vs baby minding its own business and having a little sleep in the garden... who is at fault? The baby! Now that is dogshit.

The dog has as much control of the noise it makes as the baby does.
m0therofdragons · 18/07/2021 16:57

That would drive me insane op - I have a dog who rarely barks and it was part of his early training because I cannot stand owners who allow their dogs to impact so much on their neighbours. Sadly it’s unlikely you’ll get the yappy thing to stop.

summersflowers · 18/07/2021 16:57

If you go on one of the specialist boards for baby advice Mumsnet is lovely but never mention a baby on AIBU.

For reasons I’ve never really fathomed if (for example) you say having a baby in lockdown has been hard you get aggressively turned on by posters informing you how much worse they had it. Mention you struggle to get your baby to sleep and you get laughed at. PFB features a lot. (Yes, my baby is precious, is that such a surprise?)

Bizarre.

soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:57

@Greenwateringcan

Can you explain the relevance of your questions about my eldest child?

OP posts:
soirritating · 18/07/2021 16:57

@summersflowers

If you go on one of the specialist boards for baby advice Mumsnet is lovely but never mention a baby on AIBU.

For reasons I’ve never really fathomed if (for example) you say having a baby in lockdown has been hard you get aggressively turned on by posters informing you how much worse they had it. Mention you struggle to get your baby to sleep and you get laughed at. PFB features a lot. (Yes, my baby is precious, is that such a surprise?)

Bizarre.

Definitely bizarre. Confused

OP posts:
Melroses · 18/07/2021 16:58

You could rig something up temporarily with black polythene, a stapler and garden canes against the fence to see if blocking its view would help. It's cheap. Also, something that makes noise like a cheap fountain, or play white noise, to distract it.

We used to have this with a jack russel next door. If there was a bit of a gap/hole, it would rip out bits of fence until it could get it's head through. It was a terrace, so you had to go past the end of the fence to get to the garden. We had a storm where some of the fence blew down so managed to replace and mend the panels, then it just started again. Fortunately, they moved before we did.

summersflowers · 18/07/2021 16:59

There is a huge difference between ordinary child noise and a dog relentlessly yapping every time you go out @Greenwateringcan

If the OPs eldest was running to the fence and screaming AT the neighbours every time they went out I am sure the OP would appreciate why that was annoying.

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