Anyone else feel like they can’t afford much?

[Kitten189]

I earn around 19.5k a year which is low, but I have no dependants.
I live with my partner and he earns slightly lower, our rent isn’t that high between us but sometimes I just feel like I can’t afford to live very well.

I used to go shopping with friends and they would be spending hours buying quite high-end things and I could just about afford something from primark.
Virtually all my clothes are from Primark, charity shops, EBay, Tesco etc.

I don’t drink or smoke, I have a basic gym membership, a phone contract and Netflix but that’s it.

I get my hair cut every 6 weeks at £25 and I very occasionally get Botox or a facial, but I get it cut price.

I have zero debt which is good, no overdraft etc. As until last year I was in debt, I paid it off with birthday money from my parents.

I just don’t seem to save anything and don’t know where it all goes. I see people going out to fancy places, wearing nice clothes etc and still managing to save money.

I recently went for a meal with friends. It was at a fancy restaurant one of them had chosen, I just had one main but they were all ordering cocktails, desserts etc like it was nothing.

I shop in Poundland, Wilkos and mainly Aldi etc.

Just don’t know where I’m going wrong, I can’t seem to afford anything and never seem to save. I used to have a friend who was out drinking twice a week yet still managed to save £200 per month.

Anyone else feel like this?

@Kitten189

£450 each I mean.

With regard to the teaching posts I’ve only made it to interview a couple of times, but there are usually 4 or 5 of us there and always somebody just that bit stronger or better it seems.

The thing with interviews is that, assuming there’s nothing wrong with your interview technique, it’s a numbers game. If there were 5 candidates at final interview, you only stood a 20% chance of getting the job. But that doesn’t mean you’re no good at it and should give up - it means you need to keep trying until you get the job.

You might have to apply for 20 jobs for each interview you get, and still only stand that 1 in 5 chance of getting the job, but that means if you apply for 100 jobs your chances overall are good. Just keep trying!

If you don’t mind me asking, is there a chance you might be depressed? As other posters have said you sound a bit passive/resigned to your situation. No problem if you’re just feeling chill about it all, but if you think you might be depressed then it might help to talk it through with your GP

It’s strange to assume that those better off are in debt. Or to assert that they could be in debt. Anybody could be in anything.

OP - how do you feel about a radical, action-taking change of prospects for you - side hustle for a bit, save money, retrain - 3-5 year plan - turn things around?

What does your partner do, is he similar age? Likelihood of him earning more (soon)?

I'd also be considering if it's a good relationship, what you want for the future?

I don't think of myself as particularly materialistic but I'd draw the line at settling down with a man earning so little, with not much room / motivation for progression. Really under £20k each of you, you're not going to be comfortable if you decide to start a family.

Is it a confidence thing about not going into teaching?

OP, it strikes me as odd that you only got to interview stage a couple of times, and there is clearly a reason people are either not turning up or leaving after a couple of lessons of tutoring with you. Sorry for being so blunt, but maybe you need to reconsider how you position yourself in the teaching sphere. Is it possible that you are lacking confidence and are not clear about your expectations with tutees? Nobody would leave a good tutor of their own accord. Worth signing up with a tutoring agency to see what they say?

@Kitten189

Live in Greater Manchester. I’ve been able to get TA roles which I have enjoyed, but they rarely pay over 20k

Get a full time teaching job. Just keep on applying - don’t give up. Do you live in an area with ok public transport? Longer term, Gather the money from anywhere you can to get driving lessons and then a cheapish car. Low rate bank loans are the best but just get something cheap and sensible. Tutoring on the side and in holidays will earn extra. The full time wage and then car will improve your life position / quality and opportunities

What’s your degree in? Aside from teaching, there are probably multiple other fields you could look at, all likely to pay more.

As to your situation - I’ve been there so often. I’ve realised that the majority of the time the other people are either getting into debt or getting money from other sources (in a couple of cases it was their parents; another was a large amount of spousal maintenance; another was sex work).

You just need to keep on doing you. You’re clearly sensible with money, which will stand you in good stead. You don’t need to sort out debt or budgeting, you just need to look at work. You’re halfway there at that!

I don't agree with people saying don't have the Botox or don't have your hair cut. These are small amounts really (you seem to be getting great deals) and if you didn't have them you'd just spend the money on something else. What's the difference if it's Botox, a night out etc.

It's your salary that's the problem, that and the fact you don't run up debts which is what I expect your friends who seem to have so many luxuries do.

Maybe weigh up how much you actually love your job Vs getting in to something with more prospects

OP, much as I hate the term 'side hustle', you need one!

You could do anything from dog walking, to ironing, to selling on EBay. Or you could offer your services as a babysitter perhaps?

@MostlyMaple

The AIBU section of Mumset is probably the worst place you can admit to only earning 19 grand a year.

You'll end up feeling crap OP, I'd back away from this thread if I were you. Mumsnet is full of either millionaire business owners or the wives of very wealthy businessmen.

Hope your tin hat is at the ready.

I agree. I earn 17.5K a year, full time admin, someone on here asked me why I was only working part time!!! 19K is not low for some people.

Reading back the OP’s posts actually I am not sure whether the OP wants a change of situation for herself. Because if that motivation exists then various things could be done and PP are suggesting lots of things.

But it seems to me that OP was perhaps expecting budgetary tweaks and fixes and does not perhaps want to progress/further career prospects etc?

If you want to teach be prepared to go for anything- every full time teaching post I have had has been temporary to start, like a maternity cover, and then I've been taken on part time. If you haven't taught yet, do your local council do a 'pool' for nqts?

@tiredteacher100

If you want to teach be prepared to go for anything- every full time teaching post I have had has been temporary to start, like a maternity cover, and then I've been taken on part time. If you haven't taught yet, do your local council do a 'pool' for nqts?

Oops I meant I was taken on full time and permanently after doing maternity cover!

Do you like teaching? If you do I think you need to be a little more persistent. It’s usually not hard to find a job in a city so I suspect you’re giving up too easily. Having said that it’s hard work and you need to be pro active and positive- from your post it sounds like you give up too easily. Are you primary or secondary? If teaching isn’t for you stop drifting and come up with some career plans. I didn’t start teaching til my late 20s and now earn 50 k and love it. Time for some action!

I'm in Greater Manchester as well, friends who are teachers have said it's hard to get a teaching job here, most of them are supply teachers. Have you thought of working on your applications more/interview technique? What about jobs in the Civil Service or NHS? There are plenty in the region. If you are a carer, that may help with NHS applications? Or NHS bank as a way into the NHS office jobs?

There is a knack to Civil Service applications, google it and have a look on here. You have to tick all the boxes, but they do tell you what they want.

You can't really judge other people's finances from their spending though. I'm just a bit older than you and though I'm a decent salary now I'm naturally very conservative with money, don't enjoy spending and feel very uneasy unless I have a bit of a savings cushions. I do have a credit card but I pay it off monthly and stick to a set budget. To be honest a lot of people live in the red/are in debt/spend money as soon as they have it. I'm not judging - my best friend is like this, and I know her financial situation because she tells me, but she thinks nothing of buying luxuries on shopping trips. When she gets some money, she spends it, whereas I wouldn't enjoy it because it would just give me anxiety. And people are happy living like that, good for them. I'm just saying you really don't know how much money (or debt) they have unless you've seen their bank statements.

I get around £1360 net per month if that helps.

so net you have £1360 and your rent and bills inclusive is £450, leaves you £910 each month disposable income.

Id set myself out. £50 per week to start and then write down everything you spend each week, see how long the £50 last and what you spend it on

I'm on £20k with a teenager, so similar to you but providing for two people, and we do okay. I shop at Aldi, sim only phone contract. I don't do beauty treatments, haircut £13 every five weeks or so. No gym membership. I've lived on much less before so it feels like we have everything we need now.

I am qualified in teaching but I never managed to get a full time teaching role.

Why?

@LaurieFairyCake

Where do you live you can't get a full time teaching job?

Dh's school has about 3 vacancies at any one time ((London))

Rolling my eyes. MN is so london centric. Outside of the hub of the universe full time teaching jobs are like gold dust especially in primary.

Op I think you need to look at it from another angle, you're doing so well to not be in any debt and not live beyond your means on a fairly low salary. So many people on all levels of income have a huge amount of debt.

If you think your friends are on 30k, some of them might have partners on double that, that's an extra 55k more than your combined income, of course they can afford to buy a few cocktails without thinking about it.

I agree that you sound very passive. How many teaching jobs did you apply for, interview for?

Unlike lots of people, you are qualified to do a job which pays significantly more than you're earning. The obvious answer is to out some real time and effort into getting a teaching job. But your comments about 'it's a lot of work' etc make you sound pretty flakey. People who earn decent money and do professional jobs generally do work hard (not saying others don't) so the question is whether you are prepared to push yourself to get the better paid job and do the work it requires.

Honestly, getting a teaching job will make all the difference over the longer term. Discussions about soending £100 on Botox is just tinkering around the edges and won't make hardly any difference. Yes, you can save some money by cutting your hair less regularly and budgeting harder, but it will be a few quid. If you really want a changed lifestyle you need to earn more and you have the ability and qualification to do that, so get on with it. Even now there will be schools needing people to start in September.

The real question is whether you're prepared to do what is necessary to bring in a higher income. Or is it the case that the effort feels too much and so you'd rather settle for what you have now? It's your choice....but at 30 theres time to make the change and alter your future.

Would you relocate to get a teaching job?

When I qualified as a teacher (in Manchester as it happens although a long time ago) I couldn’t get a job so I went to London and got the first job I went for and managed to progress my career quickly.

I had a partner in Manchester too but my priority had to be teaching and he moved to be with me six months later.

I agree. I earn 17.5K a year, full time admin, someone on here asked me why I was only working part time!!! 19K is not low for some people.

Completely agree. I live in the North working full time Nhs admin.
I only earn 21k. Wages are shit in a lot of places in the UK

Can I ask. Did you post before about issues getting a teaching job?

Also
I really don't like these threads where people presume others, who have spare cash must be in debt.
I agree. It's as annoying as "aRE YoU Part Time oN tHesE WaGeS?" crowd

Think you really need to work out both your spending i earn less then you household on one wage too its all about balance great for getting rid of debt I hopefully will be debt free in 6 months then I have about 400 spare a month for treats instead