Anyone else feel like they can’t afford much?

[Kitten189]

I earn around 19.5k a year which is low, but I have no dependants.
I live with my partner and he earns slightly lower, our rent isn’t that high between us but sometimes I just feel like I can’t afford to live very well.

I used to go shopping with friends and they would be spending hours buying quite high-end things and I could just about afford something from primark.
Virtually all my clothes are from Primark, charity shops, EBay, Tesco etc.

I don’t drink or smoke, I have a basic gym membership, a phone contract and Netflix but that’s it.

I get my hair cut every 6 weeks at £25 and I very occasionally get Botox or a facial, but I get it cut price.

I have zero debt which is good, no overdraft etc. As until last year I was in debt, I paid it off with birthday money from my parents.

I just don’t seem to save anything and don’t know where it all goes. I see people going out to fancy places, wearing nice clothes etc and still managing to save money.

I recently went for a meal with friends. It was at a fancy restaurant one of them had chosen, I just had one main but they were all ordering cocktails, desserts etc like it was nothing.

I shop in Poundland, Wilkos and mainly Aldi etc.

Just don’t know where I’m going wrong, I can’t seem to afford anything and never seem to save. I used to have a friend who was out drinking twice a week yet still managed to save £200 per month.

Anyone else feel like this?

I think you need to look at bringing in more money. If you are a qualified teacher, try pushing that. You may need to widen your search area and possibly move away from where you live. Once you've got a bit more experience you should able to get a job where you want to live.

In the meantime, look at ways of bringing in more income - I agree with other posters, tutoring could be a good way.

For what it's worth, I think you are doing phenomenally well on your salary, as you have managed to budget for treats without getting in debt, so don't be hard on yourself.

Tbh you are comparing yourself on 19k to people with on 30k. Of course there will be difference in what can person afford. You can't keep comparing that or you will drive yourself crazy. Plus ogher factors. Not everyone gets into debt over things too. I can absolutely afford 150 for dinner for dh and I, even if I was on low income because I have incredibly low outgoings. Other people on same wage can have higher outgoings so wouldn't be able or willing to spend 150. I know someone who chose to spend more on going out than on other things. I spend more on food than going out etc. There is lots of factors into what can one spend on and what they can't. So it's basically impossible to compare.

Lol at the person "dO YoU WoRK pArT tIMe?"...

In all likelihood the friends that are spending have some level of debt - it'll catch up to them at some point.

If you have good credit a cash back credit card MIGHT be an idea if you think you could be sensible with it, only use to buy things you normally would anyway and pay it off in full each month.

What prevented you from getting a teaching post? I know a number of teachers and I've never heard of that being an issue

Private tutoring as mentioned is one option, plenty of call for it at the moment too as parents are wanting to make sure, especially those pupils facing exams in the near future, are well prepared.

Are these friends ex uni friends? How do you know them? Time to make new friends?

Surely it’s because you’re on a really low wage. I save & spend quite a lot but I earn over 60k. Not really rocket science.

At 30 you sound sensible and level headed to me.One thing is that you really cant compare yourself to other people .As a friend says there will always be someone better off financially ,but money isnt everything . Can you maybe look outside your immediate area for a teaching post?Do you really need the Gym membership? I cut /colour my own hair .There are lots of tutorials online to follow.Also watch coffees,lunches and so on .Maybe a flask and some sandwiches /rolls from home .Do you really need Botox at such a young age.Maybe try some good moisturiser instead? Can you shop around for cheaper deals on Energy? Do you use Public transport.Maybe a cheap pushbike if the weather is good ?

I think you need to look harder for a teaching job.

What about DP - can he improve his income?

Yes your spending is fine and I think you sound very switched on to your money but...

You absolutely need a better paying job

In 1998 I was on your wage as a PA

It makes me so angry the rubbish wages that are being paid, they seem to have just stagnated for the past twenty years

Why not do supply teaching? Even just one day a week is going to bring in a decent wage? Add in some tutoring, maybe an evening baby sitting through an agency and you can push your income up quite significantly.

Obviously, if you’re happy and just a bit fed up of not having loads of spare money then it might be fine for you to carry on as you are.

It’s very admirable that you are not in any debt. However with a teaching degree that sounds very low. I may have missed what type of teacher you are but what about 11 plus tutoring either in person or online?

@FrownedUpon

Surely it’s because you’re on a really low wage. I save & spend quite a lot but I earn over 60k. Not really rocket science.

OP could have done without your snotty, goady response.

Personally in a pandemic there is a lot to be said about keeping stable financially and think you have done well without getting into debt this year.

There are lots of free college courses online at the moment including open university free courses, so you might be able to update your skills that way which would strenghthen any applications you send out.

Thanks for all the replies.
I’ve just never been successful in getting a teaching post for some reason so I sort of just gave up, plus I know it’s a lot of hours.
I do 40 now and I think that allows me a good work life balance.
I currently do supply which I like, but as I haven’t got my nqt year I can only do TA or cover supervisor roles.

I have actually just cancelled the gym membership now. I sometimes go swimming too though, it’s nice to just have some variety.

If it weren’t for my parents I’d likely still be in debt.
I’m just now refusing to use any more credit, I’ve done tutoring in the past but found it quite unreliable, people not turning up so I didn’t get paid, then decided they didn’t want lessons anymore. But there might be something better, I’ll keep looking.

Your friends are probably up to their necks in credit/store cards debt.

You're living within your means - that's great! But you are on a very low salary so it shouldn't be much of a surprise that you don't have a lot of money to throw around. Presumably your friends have more disposable income.
It seems to me that you have a couple of choices:

1. accept that this is your financial situation and of course it isn't the same as everyone else's.
2. try to increase your income - more training, a second job, etc., and reduce any expenses that you can. (You don't need Botox - that's a choice. Yes, it might not cost you a lot, but you could have used that money to buy a few cocktails when you were out with friends. You have to decide what's more important to you.)
3. Go back into debt - not a good choice, which I think you know.

I know one or two have a card but they never seem to be worried about money. But indeed, I shouldn’t compare myself to them, it does put me off though because I just feel like we’re different people now and I don’t share their tastes.

When I was younger in my 20s I was in a lot of debt so well done for being so sensible but what I did find out years later was that many of my friends' incomes were being supplemented by parent gifts, inheritance or trust funds. They never mentioned this of course, just let me think they were clever with money. I couldn't work out for the life of me how they'd managed to save for a skiing holiday in Feb and a summer holiday in Spain etc but now I know. I'm in my 40s now and it still happens. A lot of my social group earn normal amounts but have very wealthy parents due to that generation's luck.

@Kitten189

The Botox only costs me £100 a year so it doesn’t add up to much at all, otherwise I use very cheap moisturisers and make up sometimes. I do try and stick to a strict budget, it’s just when you go out with these friends and their meal and drinks is what I would spend on food in a week.

Do you really need Botox at 30? I’m in my late 40s and have never used it. Think about it as an extra cocktail a week . Obviously it depends on what you’d prefer and that’s up to you. Also your salary is low, so any training/courses you could do to help you upskill would help. Particularly at this stage when you don’t have any kids. Are there any free exercise/activities that you could do? Maybe ditch the gym membership. I run, mainly because I prefer being outdoors.

@MostlyMaple

The AIBU section of Mumset is probably the worst place you can admit to only earning 19 grand a year.

You'll end up feeling crap OP, I'd back away from this thread if I were you. Mumsnet is full of either millionaire business owners or the wives of very wealthy businessmen.

Hope your tin hat is at the ready.

@Kitten189

Maybe take a leaf out of the book of the wives of very wealthy businessmen? Or, start your own business?

I know I don’t really need it and just being vain. I haven’t had it on my forehead etc it’s just round my eyes the lines are awful. If there were a cheaper or less invasive option to get rid of them I would do that.

@MostlyMaple

The AIBU section of Mumset is probably the worst place you can admit to only earning 19 grand a year.

You'll end up feeling crap OP, I'd back away from this thread if I were you. Mumsnet is full of either millionaire business owners or the wives of very wealthy businessmen.

Hope your tin hat is at the ready.

This

www.greater.jobs/career-sectors/education-schools/teacher/

There are some teaching agencies/schools that let you get your NQT by assessment if you've been teaching for a while. Look for those type of positions as once you get your NQT you'll earn more momey
It is disheartening but keep at it, you'll get there. This is an agency near me and they do the assessment only route for teachers/assistants who have classroom experience but not their NQT.

www.teachfirst.org.uk/training-programme

@Kitten189

I know one or two have a card but they never seem to be worried about money. But indeed, I shouldn’t compare myself to them, it does put me off though because I just feel like we’re different people now and I don’t share their tastes.

You don't know though.

They could be living out of overdraft, if they have cars, they could be leased or hire purchase.

They could be eyeballs in debt

I earn a similar amount to you OP (slightly less actually) and I'm 48, and I'm a graduate in what is locally a decent job. Not a hope of earning more unless I go into management which is a definite NO for me.

I find some of the threads on here very disheartening at the much much higher amounts some people earn. I'm not stupid or uneducated, but I know that I'll never be earning 40K or anywhere near it. I'm massively massively lucky in that I managed to buy a house over 20 years ago for a bargain price, so I don't have much of a mortgage left now, but there is no way I'd be able to afford my house on my current salary if I was 25.

OP, you sound like you're doing well not to be in debt and to be keeping your head above water so don't beat yourself up too much. I made a lot of financial changes about 5 years ago - had a massive shake down of every single expenditure, cut off anything non necessary, did price comparisons of everything, budgeted everything else, paid off my credit cards and then started saving everything I possibly could, and I now have about 10 months salary saved which makes me feel much safer. It started by me saving literally £10 some months, into a separate account, but you'd be surprised how quickly it builds up.

I think you have two options OP.

Accept you don't earn as much as your friends and adjust your expectations of how often/where you meet up with them.

If you manage with a few treats on your income then your friends who earn 10k more are surely going to have about 10k disposable income? I guarantee many of them will have family help too. I started to have surplus to save once I had been teaching for about 4 years and we saved a deposit to buy.

Or increase your income.

If you have struggled with teaching jobs that suggests there's a problem with your application or interview technique. There's lots of help online and on Mumsnet for that.

Alternatives are picking up extra tutoring or other money makers like matched betting etc (look on money supermarket).

Do you want to keep up with them or are you happy?