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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to ask if there was small things you could change about your DH/DP

85 replies

Blueskywhy · 17/07/2021 16:07

This is not meant to be super serious. I've been reading/trying this tiny habits book/approach. I find it helpful, and was thinking about changes that my DH could make.

The changes I'd make:

  • Ensure empty pockets before putting on the washing machine
  • Lock the door when you go out of the house
  • Don't use the shared laptop when searching/buying stuff online, we can all see it!
OP posts:
Dogmum40 · 19/07/2021 08:15

I wish mine would be more extroverted! He’s a great husband and together we get on so well but in a social setting with friends and family it’s painful, he’s so quiet and just sits there and doesn’t join in, when people visit he goes out of the way, When we are alone we laugh and are genuinely really happy but socially he’s a nightmare

bongbigboobingbongbing · 19/07/2021 08:20

Blow your nose more quietly DH. For the love of god. It's the first sound I hear every morning. A massively exuberant hoot. It is so annoying!

Babdoc · 19/07/2021 08:21

I just wish my DH wasn’t dead.
I’d tolerate any or all of the PPs complaints, (not that he ever did any of those things) just to have him alive and hug him again.

Lookdeepintotheparka · 19/07/2021 08:22

@Babdoc Flowers

amnotreallysure · 19/07/2021 08:26

FlowersFlowersFlowers That really does put things in context. I was about to post some lighter silly thoughts. I guess we all have our small quirks and do thinks that annoy partners from time to time, at a small or larger level.

ChaToilLeam · 19/07/2021 08:30

Empty pockets before clothes go in the laundry basket.
Use up leftovers in the fridge, don’t just put them in a Tupperware and forget about them till they grow a fine layer of revolting mould.
Put empty shampoo and shower bottles in the recycling, not back on the bathroom shelf.
When cooking, it is not necessary to use every single ingredient available to you.

PavlovsDoggie · 19/07/2021 08:38

The idea of the augmented human, with some kind of display that allows us to know its internal state, that would be useful addition for my DH. I could know

  • Tiredness meter. Are you really too tired for drive to visit my DM?

  • Flu meter. I really used to think man flu was a joke. Are sniffles and a sore throat really so bad?

  • Volume meter. If there going to be a little or a lot when you finish. It would help to know in advance Blush

DifficultBloodyWoman · 19/07/2021 08:59

DH is pretty wonderful. But if he could have a volume control button, that would be great. I’d also like improved hearing so I don’t have to say everything three times.

Coldilox · 19/07/2021 09:09

I wish my DW would take pens out of her work uniform pockets before slinging them in the wash. The number of times I’ve had ink on my clothes!

Also, I wish she wouldn’t take her skinny jeans and knickers off as if they were one item of clothing, leaving me to untangle them.

And to understand good use of space when loading the dishwasher!

redtshirt50 · 19/07/2021 09:09
  • I wish he would squeeze the spots on his back when they were ready
  • I wish he liked seafood/sushi
  • I wish he would put stuff back in the same place instead of constantly finding 'better' places to keep stuff
OhGiveUp · 19/07/2021 11:16

When putting the laundry away, put my stuff in my drawers and wardrobe rather than in a neat pile on the chair.
I know you don't like going in my drawers ( though you've been in them at least twice as we have two kids ..arf arf ) but really, it's ok to open them for putting laundry away!
Similarly, stop bringing me my bag for me to get my purse out if you want the bank card or money, just bloody get it, I really don't mind you going in my bag / purse even if you think it's not the gentlemanly thing to do!!

Hoppinggreen · 19/07/2021 11:17

Fucking Keto

Mydogisagentleman · 19/07/2021 11:25

Less noise when eating.
Slinging HP sauce on pretty much everything
Snoring
Clicking when sleeping and not snoring
Being so concerned about his heart health. He is ridiculously fit and healthy , but both his parents dies with heart trouble, both into their 80s, but every milligram of visible fat needs to be cut from food.

VictoriaLudorum · 19/07/2021 11:47

Yes, I wish I had met him 32 years ago.

Confusedandshaken · 19/07/2021 11:55

I'd love him to stop snoring and having night terrors. Then we could go back to sharing a bedroom!

Nc123 · 19/07/2021 12:38

Get rid of about 2/3 of his stuff. He has loads and it would just be so much more comfortable and tidy if he had less.

Tidy up after himself when he cooks. I don’t mind loading the dishwasher, but when I cook I clear up as I go along. He never, ever does.

Stop farting. His bottom could fell an ox at fifty paces.

Don’t moan about work so much.

Apart from that I will say that he is pretty much perfect.

therocinante · 19/07/2021 13:32

Remember a towel when he goes for a shower (tiny bathroom, they're stored upstairs and our bathroom is downstairs - yes, it's a stupid system, this house is stupid).

Like cards (he doesn't see the point in them - is 'small gifts and flowers for no reason' romantic, but hates doing cards. Which is fair enough but I love them)

Like the exact same music as me so he doesn't complain when we're driving and I don't play one of the about 6 artists we both like haha.

His for me would be: puts the milk back in the fridge, doesn't snore, doesn't support a football team he hates.

therocinante · 19/07/2021 13:33

@OhGiveUp

When putting the laundry away, put my stuff in my drawers and wardrobe rather than in a neat pile on the chair. I know you don't like going in my drawers ( though you've been in them at least twice as we have two kids ..arf arf ) but really, it's ok to open them for putting laundry away! Similarly, stop bringing me my bag for me to get my purse out if you want the bank card or money, just bloody get it, I really don't mind you going in my bag / purse even if you think it's not the gentlemanly thing to do!!
Oh that's weirdly sweet! I can see how it'd become accumatively annoying though haha.
wigglerose · 19/07/2021 13:53

Put things in the fucking bin, not leave it in the side.

Yesitsbess · 19/07/2021 14:00
  • Stop "cleaning" my beloved cast iron, perfectly seasoned pan with a sodding scourer until you can see the metal. Because if you don't I will launch you into the sun.
  • LIDS! Put lids back on things before the contents become gross/or full of insects.
Mistressofnone · 19/07/2021 14:00

Listen to me first time about problem solving, instead of assuming I'm wrong, wasting so much time making it worse, and then realising I was right all along.

Stop sighing constantly like everything is an effort.. getting shoes on, deciding what to eat, getting up... huff huff.

Teabag55 · 19/07/2021 14:03

I love mine just as he is 💞

afaloren · 19/07/2021 14:10

I’d like him to stop deliberately leaving one individual sheet of loo paper on the roll so he can avoid replacing it.

He’s pretty amazing but that does annoy me.

BillMasen · 19/07/2021 14:15

Tidy up her clothes off the floor
Tidy up her shoes
Tidy up her mess in the kitchen
See mess and resolve it rather than claiming not to see it (I don’t see mess is one of the most annoying things someone can say)

So, yeah, mainly tidy the fuck up!

(And to be clear, I’m the tidy one, this isn’t me demanding she do all the housework, just not actively make me have to do even more)

Nuggetnugget · 19/07/2021 14:15

He's pretty great but maybe be a little less upright about money. Sometimes the jokes are not funny and the music choices are of an old man with bad taste.
Also a bit old fashioned. But a good decent man.