... to ask if there was small things you could change about your DH/DP

[Blueskywhy]

This is not meant to be super serious. I've been reading/trying this tiny habits book/approach. I find it helpful, and was thinking about changes that my DH could make.

The changes I'd make:

• Ensure empty pockets before putting on the washing machine
• Lock the door when you go out of the house
• Don't use the shared laptop when searching/buying stuff online, we can all see it!

@Bargebill19

If you use something, look at where you are taking it from, look at how things are in that cupboard/drawer and put the item(S) back where and how you originally found them. Otherwise bin bag gate will happen again.

Now I need to know what binbag gate entailed

He leaves cupboard doors and drawers open whenever he goes into them, literally every single time. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep the passive aggressive comments about drawers also having a close function going before he just fucking closes them. You can always see which cupboards he’s been rooting around in because the doors are always left wide open. It drives me BERSERK.

He also leaves his dirty laundry either on the end of our bed or on top of the washing basket rather than inside it. It totally baffles me, it isn’t difficult to open the laundry basket lid. Just pure laziness.

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale

I think you can guess 🤣🤣🤣
The first one was clothes - washing machine orbit away, no, he choose the floor/chair/stair/car. He refused to change and I refused to be his mum. The bin bags were deployed and him having no underwear etc seemed to hit home.
Last year it was his hobby of watch mending and lock picking. We have our own cupboard space for our own hobbies. First he sold all my mixed tapes and DVD’s without asking me for hen used that space plus his own for his hobby. I snapped and the bin bags made a reappearance, he soon realised that arguing just meant another object if his made it into the bin. He keeps his shit in his cupboard now.
We don’t have kids.

When you finish the milk, don't put the empty carton back in the fridge

@Youdiditanyway
Elastic bands around the cupboard handles - makes them snap shut. When he asked why, say the cupboards mysteriously seem to be self opening.
Bin bags. Just saying🤣

If you take the recycling out, take it all not just half. It all goes in one bin so no need to sort 😢

My DH has OCD so the house is extremely clean - in fact he'd probably write much of the above about me as I know I really irritate him

Otherwise I'd change only his snoring and constant throat clearing (he seemingly spends all winter with a cold and all summer with hayfever)😬

@Undersnatch I’d want mine to be LESS of a foodie! He can’t have a single meal without telling me what a foodie he is and spends hours watching cooking channels on YouTube!

I wish he could see me when we are walking down the same street, or drive past each other or meeting each other somewhere. You can always see a completely vague confused face, it's his least attractive quality.
He's just done it at a train station as I just nipped to put something in the bin, I was like 5 feet away and he'd lost me, fuck I'm not over it yet.
He's 6ft 3 as well

Eat more quietly and not attack his food as if a buzzer is going to go off any second and it will be confiscated

@Aquamarine1029

I'll start off by saying my husband is brilliant at DYI, he can fix/build anything. Cars, electric, plumbing, you name it. I can't even imagine how much money he has saved us over the years. BUT, he can't 'just' fix something, he has to re-engineer the bloody thing to his exacting standards. He fixes things to death. Everything becomes a project with this man.

Oh god, I'll have him! Actually, I think my DH wouldn't even mind if he moved in with us

@MarmaladeToastAndAMarmaladeCat

I’d like it if before he asks me where something is about 55,000 times a day he actually looks for it for longer than a millisecond and might actually find it himself.

Looking including moving things aside!

To stop making smacking noises with his lips while he is thinking what to say

Stop eating like a pig chewing bones it’s absolutely gross
Tidy up after yourself/kids
Do housework
Do washing
Learn to iron
Learn to cook including making your own lunch
Be thoughtful of my feelings at least once a week
Have another goal in life other than sitting in front of the tv
Take me out and actually talk to me (none Covid times)
Oh and like other poster, grow a couple of inches and add some girth 😁

Oh yeah and finally, when you speak don’t do that fucked up thing when you keep your eyes closed!! What even is that?!! I just think of Friday Night Dinner when that weirdo comes for tea....

Some WD-40 on the wallet hinges and a passion for bathing would be nice

[quote HorseGallopingOnATomato]@Undersnatch I’d want mine to be LESS of a foodie! He can’t have a single meal without telling me what a foodie he is and spends hours watching cooking channels on YouTube! [/quote]
Haha yes I suppose a swap would show us the grass is always greener. Mine couldn’t care less about what food is in front of him, he’d enjoy beans and chips as much as a gourmet meal, wouldn’t notice. Would never even tolerate discussing the food in front of him, let alone watch a programme about it!!

There are things that have very specific meaning

• I’m nearly there…means I need between 2 and 10 minutes more
• I’m coming … means it’s in the next minute, I passed the point of no return (one way street)

We share a car for work, no pull in place, so he has to almost jump in to a moving car.

After you go cycling on Saturdays, and if you come back and find me naked, it means I’ve been cleaning and it’s been too hot. Nothing more!

Also, if there was some sort of listening meter or visual feedback sign to indicate you were hearing or understanding me, that would be useful :) I could try get the same lol

If mine looked like Martin Kemp he could do anything he liked.

@SineOfTheThymes, context is everything :)

for me:

• I’m nearly there:…10 or maybe 20 seconds at most

* I’m coming: 1 or seconds

No wonder your DP/DH is confused :)

Of yes, the original AIBU,

• After gardening, remove shoes before coming in the house
• Re-fill the coffee machine with fresh water in the morning

And yes I'd get that "upgrade" installed if there was an option to see with an indicator (like a speedometer?) to know if DP was listening

Golf clubs in the porch. All other times he uses the side door.

Using my three in one face wipes to wipe the toilet seat!

Being pernickety - there is no need to straighten my post if I leave it on the kitchen counter and every time he mentions it needs filing adds a full two days to the process.

Asking me to open the side gate - the key is in the cupboard.

@Blossomtoes, going to google Kemp now!