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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving London

144 replies

properg · 17/07/2021 12:15

Don't get me wrong I know as secondary schooling approaches many people leave London but has anyone noticed it's more prevalent than usual? Lots of neighbours & friends left over the last yr but this week another 4 of my dcs classmates are planning to go over the summer & 2 are good friends of her/us. I think that makes 9 from the one class & only 1 has an sibling approaching secondary school.

It's making me feel a bit insecure for some reason & questioning whether we should be looking to go to?

OP posts:
Original poster
properg · 17/07/2021 13:01

just me then

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pitterpatterrain · 17/07/2021 13:04

I’m not sure whether it is happening more than normal, we have some people leaving to move out, some people switching schools (usual state ‘til 8 type thing)

From what I have seen reception is rammed and over subscribed and from then on it the numbers just drop and drop

PerhapsCarriageGreen · 17/07/2021 13:05

I know in our area there are lots of primary aged children leaving. I think it happens anyway but you do become aware from time to time.

Twelve years ago our five closest friends all left in the same year. It was really unsettling but you do regroup eventually. We left ourselves a couple of years later but one set of friends and us have returned for work reasons. We'll stay till we retire now I think.

pitterpatterrain · 17/07/2021 13:06

Maybe thinking about people at work, because we only will need to be in the office max 3 days a week a lot of people rather than stretching to something fairly central to support going into the office and frequent travel are buying a larger place (detached, big garden etc) out in commuting locations

For me I like being central, have no “pull” to random commuter land so will be staying put

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 17/07/2021 13:07

Arent people just deciding they dont want city life anymore? I think the pandemic has bought that about. Is their reason for leaving secondary schooling?

Original poster
properg · 17/07/2021 13:12

The ones I've spoken too is about more space, wanting to be closer to family. They will still be commenting but 1 day a wk or only 1 parent will be doing it 3 days a wk whereas the other will be 100% remote.

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Original poster
properg · 17/07/2021 13:15

Arent people just deciding they dont want city life anymore?

Maybe it's a natural cycle? My parents (immigrants) lived in a pretty unfashionable part of London in the 80s but many parts were like that then.

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Letsallscreamatthesistene · 17/07/2021 13:17

I think after having to be in one small space for a long time due to lockdown, people are leaving becauee of that. Thats why its a bit more prevalent right now.

Wilkolampshade · 17/07/2021 13:17

Well maybe. But in that case, who is buying/renting their houses because they sure aren't sitting empty...? Rental and sale prices for garden-less flats may have gone down with decreasing demand, but our boring 3 bed terrace with its very standard 40 ft garden, zone2/3 has jumped the best part of 100k in the last 18 month, if Zoopla is to be believed... 🙄 which can only indicate (inexplicably) rising demand?
For context, we left London when the kids were tiny OP, only to return very gladly (if expensively) now they're student age. They had a great time when primary age in the country, but absolutely not as teenagers.
Still, you'll know what's right for your gang.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 17/07/2021 13:21

@Wilkolampshade

Well maybe. But in that case, who is buying/renting their houses because they sure aren't sitting empty...? Rental and sale prices for garden-less flats may have gone down with decreasing demand, but our boring 3 bed terrace with its very standard 40 ft garden, zone2/3 has jumped the best part of 100k in the last 18 month, if Zoopla is to be believed... 🙄 which can only indicate (inexplicably) rising demand? For context, we left London when the kids were tiny OP, only to return very gladly (if expensively) now they're student age. They had a great time when primary age in the country, but absolutely not as teenagers. Still, you'll know what's right for your gang.
Interesting. Althought I think zoopla isnt that reliable. Maybe people just want a change in lifestyle then, rather than only people leaving cities. City dwellers wanting more space, and those in the countryside wanting to try city life.
Original poster
properg · 17/07/2021 13:21

The people I know haven't really moved to the country but gone to other cities, bigger towns.

Good point re who's buying although I'm not so sure about the increased prices. I know asking prices jumped on my road but know what some neighbours accepted & it's not much different from 2016 particularly factoring in stamp duty change although this was already a toppy area.

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AntiHop · 17/07/2021 13:21

I know what you mean op. I feel unsettled too, and sad.

I'm a Londoner but we live in a completely different part of london to where I grew up. If I could move back to that part of london, totally would. But there is zero chance I could afford it. We have no desire to move back to dh's home town.

We knew no one when we moved to this area. We've made a big effort to meet people locally. So I feel really sad that friends we've made are making plans to move away, or left already. And it makes me question our decision to live here. But then I remind myself about all the awesome things about growing up in london.

BrotherSisterRelationship · 17/07/2021 13:22

I think a lot of people are reevaluating life at the moment and if they only need to be in London one day a week, want the extra space that living a distance from London can bring.

Although I am happy where I live, I do feel that the right area of London (leafy expensive suburbia) has the best of all worlds apart from the house prices. I grew up in London and think it's a great place for children to grow up in as there is so much to do for free when they are little and it's so easy to be independent when they're older.

However this life is unattainable for many so I understand why they might seek it elsewhere.

Original poster
properg · 17/07/2021 13:23

The people who are buying on my road are actually a slightly different demographic, younger then before with no dc but some have had family help according to neighbours.
Next door is a brother & sister whose parents were cash buyers & seem to come round weekly & do their washing 😆

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BootsScootsAndToots · 17/07/2021 13:30

Well maybe. But in that case, who is buying/renting their houses because they sure aren't sitting empty...

The city lifestyle is always going to appeal to some. But I think lots of people were in London because of work, preferring a short commute than being near their family.

Accepting having to live in a smaller space, for a shorter commute 5 days a week.

The pandemic has changed a lot of people's mindset and with remote / hybrid working the norm going forward, people are able to move out of London.

Original poster
properg · 17/07/2021 13:30

@AntiHop I'm lucky in that I live in the same area where I grew up & still often bump into old family friends which is nice.

It's definitely frustrating investing in friendships & then having to start the process again.

Lots of my actual friends have moved further out/borders which I've always discounted as I like city life & everything very close but maybe I need to accept it & just go to them! As my parents are immigrants and no other family here I have no ties to elsewhere, same for DH.

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Letsallscreamatthesistene · 17/07/2021 13:31

@properg

The people who are buying on my road are actually a slightly different demographic, younger then before with no dc but some have had family help according to neighbours. Next door is a brother & sister whose parents were cash buyers & seem to come round weekly & do their washing 😆
What a life! Sadly id get a strong no from my parents. Not least because my mum lives 6 hours away and wouldnt fancy doing a weekly wash for a family of 3 that includes a messy toddler anyway 😂
Original poster
properg · 17/07/2021 13:34

I guess I'm also worried that if we did decide in a few hours we wanted to go we would be priced out.

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WhatAWasteOfOranges · 17/07/2021 13:39

Because with remote working it is possible for people to swap their 500k flat in London for a really nice house somewhere else. Why be stuck in a two bed with a communal garden if you have a choice?! Especially with kids. Think that’s fuelled the change…

KindergartenKop · 17/07/2021 13:40

Well it's the impact of covid isn't it. Perhaps also combined with your kids approaching secondary.

bakingdemon · 17/07/2021 13:42

Our friends started the exodus a couple of years ago and it's picking up. They want more space, to be closer to family and less of the crime/air pollution/litter. We are planning to move ourselves next year.

Original poster
properg · 17/07/2021 13:42

@WhatAWasteOfOranges yes that would defo make you consider. Of the people I know everyone has a house & a garden but probably just not as big as they would like.

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Loudestcat14 · 17/07/2021 13:55

@WhatAWasteOfOranges

Because with remote working it is possible for people to swap their 500k flat in London for a really nice house somewhere else. Why be stuck in a two bed with a communal garden if you have a choice?! Especially with kids. Think that’s fuelled the change…
I agree, that's what's driven out the families we know. Although at least two of the parents are now buggered work-wise because their firms have backtracked on full-time WFH and want them in the office at least 60% of the week, so they're now looking at 3-hr-plus daily commutes because they moved quite a way out.
superram · 17/07/2021 14:06

This has gone through my mind but we are staying. A few people are moving out but our main group of friends are staying. I won’t live more than 5 minutes from a corner shop so I know rural life isn’t for me-I might run out of wine/milk/chocolate.

Itscoldouthere · 17/07/2021 14:12

I can understand why people move out, more space, bigger house etc etc but having done it ourselves we can’t wait to get back to London (currently buying) my DC are now at uni and they found living in a village really boring and had no desire to return there after uni.
I do think the pandemic has changed things but for us the commute was an expensive, slow, joy killer we lived 45 mins train to Kings X, sound doable but in reality it was often 1.5 hrs so 3 hrs a day.
Most of our friends stayed in London, so there’s lots of good reasons for going back, although affording a house has been difficult and we’ve had to compromise on location.