Leaving London

[properg]

Don't get me wrong I know as secondary schooling approaches many people leave London but has anyone noticed it's more prevalent than usual? Lots of neighbours & friends left over the last yr but this week another 4 of my dcs classmates are planning to go over the summer & 2 are good friends of her/us. I think that makes 9 from the one class & only 1 has an sibling approaching secondary school.

It's making me feel a bit insecure for some reason & questioning whether we should be looking to go to?

We moved out due to schooling as did most of our other friends,very few stayed in London even after living there years.

Absolutely normal at your stage of life. When our DC hit that stage a few years ago, I also thought OMG EVERYONE is leaving London.

Then the dust settles and you realise it's actually still the same lovely place, minus a few nice people from primary, but unless they're your besties, others more than make up for it.

We are going to go within the next year. Suddenly because of lockdown we can work from home and not in central London. So overall living in London doesn't make total sense anymore.

One thing we also found was moving out for secondary school makes it much harder to make friends, we never really made any friend through our DC school and as they weren’t sporty they didn’t go to clubs either.
If you have primary aged children it’s much easier to make friends and fit into a community.
I found if you work and your kids are older it’s hard to fit in, we didn’t go to church and the village didn’t have much happening in it, maybe we just didn’t move to the right place.

I did love growing up in London as a teenager but can't imagine it was that different to growing up in another large town. We didn't actually go into z1 that much except for shopping but those days are gone anyway. Most of the time we staying in our actual area of z2/3.

One thing we also found was moving out for secondary school makes it much harder to make friends, we never really made any friend through our DC school and as they weren’t sporty they didn’t go to clubs either.
If you have primary aged children it’s much easier to make friends and fit into a community.

This is actually what a friend said which made me think as it's true, much harder to build the friendship group later.

Loads of Londoners moved to my small town. Phil, of Phil and Kirsty, mentioned my little town as one of the best places to live in the UK. Many folk moved here, buying farm houses and huge homes, or maybe 2 for the same price as their semi in London. I can see why they would!

We're moving back into London. It's competitive area for houses and they are generally snapped up within a couple weeks so somebody must be buying them.
There's always a percentage who move for many reasons, and usually plenty to take their place. If you are happy where you are why consider it?

Livingintheclouds Very rare to hear of someone coming back! What's prompted your return?

We are going back too, it’s actually not that unusual. We’ve got lots of friends there, and like city living, didn’t want to be rattling around in our county house on our own. Hoping to enjoy an active retirement.

Why is leaving London always such a big discussion point anyway? I never see threads about leaving Newcastle/Manchester/Birmingham, what is it about leaving London specifically?

If you are happy where you are why consider it?

I'm not entirely happy as I want more space & guess I have realised I have other options now plus perhaps pandemics or at least "lockdowns" to prevent them may be more common now.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene I can't answer for other threads. London is my hometown, we have zero other ties, so it's a big deal to me.
I've also not been in this position before & had just assumed I would stay here forever but I'm uncertain now. Are Londoners not allowed to seek advice?

[quote properg]@Letsallscreamatthesistene I can't answer for other threads. London is my hometown, we have zero other ties, so it's a big deal to me.
I've also not been in this position before & had just assumed I would stay here forever but I'm uncertain now. Are Londoners not allowed to seek advice? [/quote]
Eye roll. Yes of course Londoners are allowed to seek advice. My point was that I see no other about leaving other cities, its always London and wonered why. Please dont take offense where none was intended.

I can only answer for my motivation for the thread perhaps MNs is just more London/SE centric & London does have a higher % of immigrants & 2nd gen like myself i& DH. If I lived in Manchester I would feel the same but I don't.

The thing is OP, you may find many of your friends who “leave London” weren’t actually born here and are going back to an area / way of life they are familiar with - perhaps to be nearer to family / elderly parents, etc.

You don’t give any clue as to where you’re considering moving to? It’s difficult to give advice

What I would say is that yes, it’s much easier to make friends when your kids are in primary as you are physically there at the gates and involved with the play dates etc etc. However, once they go to secondary, it’s all change and this stool does the case whether you move or stay put. So, in a sense, it doesn’t really matter that these friends are moving away now as, chances are, the kids will not be your DC’s friends by the end of Year 7 anyway.

I have 4 DC who have moved from the same prep to various London independents at 11 plus. Two still keep I. You know with the odd one or two from primary age, but their main social group is in the cohorts they are in now.

Are you thinking of independent school for secondary? To be perfectly honest, this is why a lot of families move out. Entry to the independents involves so much prep and palaver, that many will just decide to swerve it altogether.

Yes we moved out last year. Born and bread Londoners.
Several of our friends and neighbours have moved out of London this year too, mostly to the home counties.

We want more space, less pollution and less crime. I don't want my DC getting mugged on the way to school everyday. Which was what seemed to go on at the local comps, parents literally had to form groups to patrol the streets after school in high vis vests. Because muggings (often at knifepoint) had got so out of hand.

London had always been my home but now I've left, I'm not sure why I thought it was such a great place to be. It wasn't.

It’s always happened, but it’s happening more because of Covid and working from home.

DH, DS and I are off to a county on the south coast (nearer my family) hopefully before September.

A lot of people want more space, bigger house/garden, cleaner air, lower crime etc. my DPs met in London then moved out when I was a baby; I always assumed I’d do the same.

I love London and it’s great while you’re in your twenties, but if you can’t afford to buy a decent sized house in a nice part of the city (we can’t, despite good jobs) then it’s just not worth the aggro and we’d rather be in the countryside.

You don’t give any clue as to where you’re considering moving to? It’s difficult to give advice

I have no idea 😆 I suppose Im asking if I should be looking to make the move.

I haven't thought about secondary yet.

@BrilliantBetty did you go to the HC?

@VestaTilley good luck, the coast is certainly appealing in this weather

@properg

You don’t give any clue as to where you’re considering moving to? It’s difficult to give advice

I have no idea 😆 I suppose Im asking if I should be looking to make the move.

I haven't thought about secondary yet.

Maybe make a list (im a fan of lists 😂) of what you want/value in an area to live? Access to countryside? Convenience? Schools? I think this might help. It might be that from your list you choose to stay put!

@Loudestcat14 and @livingintheclouds I'm standing up and waving here! We came back too!! Left for Cornwall 15 years ago. Didn't leave a house here, so didn't capitalise on the massive hike in value since then but hey, what you don't have you don't miss! Would never have been able to return without vastly downsizing, an inheritance, and the biggest mortgage we've ever had but so relieved to be home now in North London.
Love the tube, love the work, love the opportunities and the super-buzzy neighbourhood, so rich and so diverse. Kids prefer it too. 😊
I'd agree with lostintheclouds, houses on our street selling easily within 2 weeks. New owners all considerably younger than us and with City type jobs...(we're ancient and definitely not City.)

Love the tube, love the work, love the opportunities and the super-buzzy neighbourhood, so rich and so diverse. Kids prefer it too.*

I actually think my neighbourhood has become incredibly less diverse, everyone is pretty much from the same socio economic background & you can see at the local primary how much less ethnically diverse the younger years are.

@Itscoldouthere don't worry, you're not the only ones. We've just done the same for what sounds like very similar reasons.

@properg interesting, whereabouts are you? (I know you may not want to say) We're in Haringay.