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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that a child who has never been camping is not necessarily from a ‘deprived’ background

513 replies

Urbandweller · 16/07/2021 20:57

DD’s school organised a camping trip for Y5. DD is younger and didn’t attend but her class teacher went to chaperone. I was chatting with her about it today and she said she was so glad the school was able to organise the trip as so many of the Y5 kids had never been camping and would never otherwise get the chance to go. It was clear that she felt sorry for the children who hadn’t been before and was shaking her head sorrowfully, saying many of them are the same poor kids who have never been to the beach and this is one of the saddest aspects of deprivation...

AIBU to not see the link between camping and deprivation? We’ve never taken DD because it’s my idea of hell, nothing to do with lack of funds!

OP posts:

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ZZTopGuitarSolo · 17/07/2021 00:02

Obviously there will be extreme cases. How does somebody end up a single parent to six children, some of which have additional needs? Did her partner die? Did they not have life insurance?

Oh I love how middle class this response is.

She is a single mum to 8 (2 have left home, of whom 1 is in prison, so she has 6 left at home) out of choice. They have multiple fathers. They have no money.

This I suspect is the deprivation that the teacher in the OP was referring to. I wish it was truly extreme, but it is not.

Friendofdennis · 17/07/2021 00:02

What does it mean to be deprived anyway ? If a child is on FSM it doesn’t mean that parents don’t try to give their offspring good experiences such as reading to them from a young age, teaching them to read, doing crafts and hobbies, helping them to experience nature and yes camping. I did all of these things with my daughter. Also although we were entitled as a family to FSM we didn’t avail ourselves of that because I was aware of the opinions (pity) which some teachers have towards children on FSM.

THisbackwithavengeance · 17/07/2021 00:06

The families I know who camp regularly are very middle class and take it very seriously. A lot of money is spent on kit. It's not a cheap option by any means.

We went camping with friends who lent us a tent but DH refused to sleep in it so booked a yurt or whatever it's called on the same site.

Basically we ended up paying £stupid to sleep in a shed...

EmeraldShamrock · 17/07/2021 00:09

What does it mean to be deprived anyway ? If a child is on FSM it doesn’t mean that parents don’t try to give their offspring good experiences such as reading to them from a young age, teaching them to read, doing crafts and hobbies, helping them to experience nature and yes camping.
I don't think anyone is considering that as deprived, you don't need lots of money to enjoy different experiences.
I think you're being naive assuming all parents put the effort in, as long as they're fed with a place to sleep the bar is pretty low for interventions from SS.
It isn't always poor DC who are deprived but the poor ones who are get nothing but the basics.

Comtesse · 17/07/2021 00:09

I am 46 and have never been camping. Family not rich as a kid, but doing just fine so it’s not like we can’t afford it. I did sleep in a caravan once though, does that count??

BoredZelda · 17/07/2021 00:18

Well, I don't think its "deprivation" in the traditional sense, but it's truly a wonderful experience for children, and it's sad that some children don't get to experience it.

I loved camping as a child. My sister hated it. My husband hated it too and that is why we’ve never taken our daughter. I think she’d enjoy parts of it but hate others. I do wonder why people think one size fits all when it comes to what they will enjoy.

Eatenpig · 17/07/2021 00:18

I'd assume the teacher meant any type of holiday.

Schnauzersaremyheros · 17/07/2021 00:30

As a child growing up in a single parent and FSM household, I never went camping. My mum was broke, didn't own a car (or was able to drive), and definitely did not have spare cash for tents, sleeping bags, ect. I would have loved camping too.

Alot of people on this thread really have no frigging clue

Eeiliethya · 17/07/2021 00:34

Went camping once.

Would rather slam my tits in a drawer than do it again.

ThatWasThat · 17/07/2021 00:42

Camping can be very cheap for kids if part of an organised group. Perhaps the point was this might be the only experience for some kids to have a break. Having said that, I personally think that there are many great things about camping and everyone should give it a try, especially as kids. It may or may not not be your preferred style of holiday in adulthod but it shoudl be a good childhood experience.

MrsToothyBitch · 17/07/2021 00:42

I have never been camping and I like it that way. I view this as an achievement, not a tragedy. Can assure you I was a far from deprived child.

ThatWasThat · 17/07/2021 00:50

@MrsToothyBitch I find this odd, to celebrate not having experienced something that other people clearly like and claim that as an achievement. I'm sure you're right, you wouldn't like camping, but to have avoided it is hardly an achievement.

TheHateIsNotGood · 17/07/2021 00:51

It's just another theory/idea/social policy framework that teachers are advised about. Whilst a bit true it isn't the full picture of many circumstances.

Unfortunately, Teachers are forced to think that they are the gatekeepers/watchmen of all of society's ills and being a good/great Teacher doesn't necessarily mean a Teacher is great or good at understanding 'society', and all the different people that make it, beyond their 'school' workplace.

I don't blame anyone for this situation, just know that a young, new grad Teacher doesn't have enough life experience to understand nor judge the lives of the pupils she/he teaches.

Justajot · 17/07/2021 00:56

It's presumably part of the policy to provide "cultural capital" to all pupils. I'm on the fence on this one as it seems to mean going on slightly shit versions of the stuff we do as a family or going to a different place of worship each year.

salviapages · 17/07/2021 01:02

I've worked in a school that does similar. There's a difference between not taking your children camping because you don't like it, and not being able to take them camping or on any kind of holiday because you live in poverty. Those are the children the teacher is referencing. She's not saying that your children are 'deprived' because you personally don't like camping

LostInTheColonies · 17/07/2021 01:06

Kids being deprived of camping IMO has nothing to do with social deprivation! Teacher clearly bonkers on that front. It's a shame if kids from anywhere on the social spectrum don't get a chance to camp (note kids, not parents who prefer more comfort!).

Sleeping outside, fires, marshmallows, being far too grubby - what's not to like if you're a kid? ⛺ And it's what all the posh kids do in story books clearly read way too much Enid Blyton, Arthur Ransome and the like as a child

StripyGiraffes · 17/07/2021 01:08

@LyndaSnellsSniff

There speaks a teacher who loves to camp.

Seems an odd baseline for the definition of deprivation or cultural experience.

This sums it up really!

SRS29 · 17/07/2021 01:09

I was not put on this Earth to camp...the end

PolkadotZebras · 17/07/2021 01:15

@ZZTopGuitarSolo

Obviously there will be extreme cases. How does somebody end up a single parent to six children, some of which have additional needs? Did her partner die? Did they not have life insurance?

Oh I love how middle class this response is.

She is a single mum to 8 (2 have left home, of whom 1 is in prison, so she has 6 left at home) out of choice. They have multiple fathers. They have no money.

This I suspect is the deprivation that the teacher in the OP was referring to. I wish it was truly extreme, but it is not.

It's not remotely middle class. Wind your neck in. I lived in absolutely poverty for years, constantly at risk of becoming homeless because no money for rent, electricity cutting off, no heating, living on plain pasta for months on end. Your poverty competition is massively boring.

How did this person end up with so many children that she couldn't support financially and give these basic childhood experiences of travelling a couple of miles to the beach or sleeping in a tent? 8 kids you are saying now? By multiple fathers. Why did she do that to those children? Not an oooopppps that was an accident situation, is it?

PolkadotZebras · 17/07/2021 01:15

@ZZTopGuitarSolo

Obviously there will be extreme cases. How does somebody end up a single parent to six children, some of which have additional needs? Did her partner die? Did they not have life insurance?

Oh I love how middle class this response is.

She is a single mum to 8 (2 have left home, of whom 1 is in prison, so she has 6 left at home) out of choice. They have multiple fathers. They have no money.

This I suspect is the deprivation that the teacher in the OP was referring to. I wish it was truly extreme, but it is not.

Also great name change fail.

TheHateIsNotGood · 17/07/2021 01:28

ZZ the example you give is extreme, yes in the extreme the circumstances you describe do exist and various less hyperventilating, lurid circumstances too.

It is not the norm and 'access to camping' shouldn't be used as a 'baseline' for forming judgements on schoolchildren and their families.

SomeNameorOther · 17/07/2021 01:29

I love camping. When I was a child my parents took us camping every year and it was always the only time of the year I was truly happy. That feeling juct comes over me when pever I've been camping throughout my adulthood, and I am incredibly sad that my disability now makes camping so hard that I shan't be able to do it again. There's something so comforting, so connected to the world, about lying in a tent in the early mornings listening to the birdsong.

I can absolutely see why some people see it as another form of Hell though!

StripyGiraffes · 17/07/2021 01:30

That's so sad, the best day of his life. A child should not be living with parents who clearly do not give a damn about him. I suspect is far more of a common issue than people not being able to borrow a tent for a day; parents just not bothering to think about their children's needs and making their worlds so, so small.

It sounds like a classic case of this TBH. Not giving a shit about how to provide for the existing children or give them experiences, unable to support them but keep having more? 6? And some with additional needs? It's obvious some will suffer massively from this simply from the parental effort and time being split so many ways. Just so unfair on the kids. Who would keep having more babies in this situation that was remotely responsible enough to be a good parent? And given what you've said about not even being able to take them out camping, just so fucking selfish. Those poor kids.

StripyGiraffes · 17/07/2021 01:33

That was @ZZTopGuitarSolo

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 17/07/2021 01:39

@PolkadotZebras I haven’t name-changed - what makes you think I have?

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