If you are a home educating or SEN parent what is your job?

[Pleasegiveexamples]

Right- DC early secondary age ADHD, possibly ASD (on the waiting list for assessment) not coping with school, has meltdowns, poor mental health, other physical medical issues. Lots of appointments, meetings with school, therapy etc. He’s been out of school for 6ish weeks and it’s still not certain he will manage back at school in September. He may have a part time timetable or phasing in. HE is on the cards. He can’t be left alone at all.

I’ve been self employed for years as a cleaner and a couple of years ago started doing laundry and ironing too. I’ve also had some part time employed work dotted through out too. I’m no use to any employer as the constant calls to go to the school, medical appointments and having to deal with school refusal days makes me totally unreliable and turns me into a massive ball of anxiety about how shit I am being at work. Being self employed is great- I have all the cleaning work I could want but again- my in reliability is a problem. Some clients are great and really patient- others understandably cancel me when I’ve had to cut short or cancel my visit. I haven’t worked in the 6ish weeks since DS stopped school.

The ironing & laundry work was coming in steadily and I had regulars. Then covid hit and it all stopped. I’ve been advertising like crazy and have had flyers printed and went door to door round town putting them through letterboxes. No takers. I was hoping it would be a reliable source of income now that I’m not able to clean but I’ve had nothing. I think because more people are at home/not working due to covid they’re doing it themselves. Anyway- I’m not getting any work.

There is no childcare available for DS, I have no partner and we haven’t heard from his father in years. There are no grandparents or family to help either.

I am on universal credit. Currently there are no obligations for me to search for work but I know that will end soon. Also my mental health is in my boots due to not being able to work and earn for myself. I hate it. I feel like a completely useless waste of space. I need to work. Not just because we are absolutely skint and living off credit cards.

So I need new ideas for work. I need something I can do at home that I can stop and start if DS needs me or something happens. I had started trying to sell things from our house on eBay but a few iffy buyers and now the new payment procedures have put me off completely. I can’t afford to send things for people to claim they haven’t received them and put in refund requests. I tried for some of the transcription websites but my typing was nowhere near good enough. I can’t sew or knit. I have no crafting talents.

What do you all do for work or what do you think might work for me?

What’s your maths like ? Could you do accounts ?
Lots of online courses that you might get concessions for.

Also - pet sitting/walking/grooming could be something you could potentially do together.

Window cleaning is also doable, as is car washing if you were to do it together and got it around his needs.
Basic gardening & lawn mowing.

Are you any good at baking ?

A bit of a mix might hedge your income should a third lockdown happen.

What’s your maths like ? Could you do accounts ?
Lots of online courses that you might get concessions for.

This is so embarrassing. I have actually enrolled 3 times on accounting courses and never managed to get past the first month in any of them. I still owe money for the last one. I just haven’t got the head for it.

Also - pet sitting/walking/grooming could be something you could potentially do together.

I had been thinking about dog walking but again- I’ll be letting people down if I have to suddenly go off and deal with DS having a meltdown in school. Same with all his appointments. People would expect their dog walker to be there on the arranged days and can’t change their work because I’ve got an appointment to go to and poor rover won’t get walked. DS wouldn’t be able to come and do it with me- he just wouldn’t cope with it. Same with anything like car washing or gardening etc. Also our area is saturated with handyman type people offering grass cutting/windows etc.

Baking isn’t something I do but I suppose I could try?

Thank you for responding

Not what you've asked, but would be be eligible for DLA? If so, you could be his carer, and that would remove the requirement for you to seek work. That sounds like it might be more realistic if your DS can't be left at all.

Yes Lougle I have applied just this week. It would certainly take the pressure off but I need a back up plan incase he doesn’t get anything. I do agree it’s the more realistic outcome. I’m finding it very hard to accept I simply may not be able to work for some time.

It’s really difficult isn’t it. I have two child with Sen. Both very challenging. I’ve got an admin job working in education but it’s exhausting me and I’m fast burning out.

I feel so stuck. I just want to be able to go to work and feel like I’m paying my way. I don’t leave the house now except to walk the dog or go to Lidl.

DLA would be very good, you should put what he is like on the "worst" day not the best. It doesn't depend on diagnosis but on child's needs, obviously a diagnosis makes this plainer but evidence of his difficulties school issues are all part of DLA evidence.
I homeschooled my SEN child for a two years in secondary, I didn't apply as I didn't need the extra funds but I definitely would have found it difficult to work even when he was IN SCHOOL (two other kids too, one also with SEN)
Book keeping, decluttering, decorating, gardening, language tutoringcan be at short bursts...I know people who do these things by the two or one hour slot. Or even half an hour slots. But it tends to be too up money not full income ifysim.

Top up
Also dog walking can be adhoc rather than full time commitment. Also dog boarding, puppy daycare as people go back to work out of home...less long walks more having dog asleep in your house

I did this and work as Head of international reporting and improvement. But I have a hugely flexible job.

Ds is now back in school. One women homeschooling in my team. Again, I am hugely flexible. As long as work is done I don't care when.

In our company the most flexible jobs are project managers and the finance team

@Unsoliciteddeckpic how do you find people to give you a chance? I’m a hard worker, but I need to work around my kids.

From what you have said about your son's needs, it wouldn't make sense for him to be denied DLA. You are his full time carer. Also elective home ed would possibly absolve the council of their obligations towards him, if he can't cope with school, THEY should be finding a way to solve this...better school, more provision in school, EHCP, so that you are not able to work. The working is a moot point, obviously the emphasis should be what he needs educationally from the LA...you should not have to provide it by home educating, even if in reality this is the best option. The LA are washing their hands of this problem and passing buck to you if they suggest it is "better" for him to be HEdded.

[quote Alwaysthemiddle]@Unsoliciteddeckpic how do you find people to give you a chance? I’m a hard worker, but I need to work around my kids.[/quote]
I went with a really high standard recruitment agency. It did take a while to find. And I didn't interview 4 times over 12 months and kept saying no until they met my terms.

I don't have any qualifications above a-levels. But i do have a lot of experience. I was 37 when I joined the company.

I am lucky the recruiter knew a company where the MD looks at people as a whole rather than a CV. They matched me perfectly.

I almost started this exact thread a few days ago. Almost all jobs are looking for someone reliable which I can't be 🙁

Also, you should remember you ARE working, you are bringing up your son, who has a disability and doing for free what plenty of highly paid professionals are not managing to do ...educate and cherish him. It's a massive investment but it is not wasted time I promise. And actually if you can through this bit of caring for him, it will get better. That is my experience. 19 DS has just spent day with friends bicycling in London, independent, confident (semi organised) he is a very different young man from the 12 year old I removed from his mainstream comprehensive after one year

I really more companies took in account parenting responsibilities, especially those with sen children.

As I have got older, I have thought that there's alot of jobs that don't actually need to be done 9-5pm. They could actually be done flexibly. But to many employers are stuck on the 9-5 model.

I felt this way before the pandemic. But think it more so now.

I can sympathise as my son started having issues in primary, constantly called by the school to collect him early etc. In the end we moved schools and got a private diagnosis so we could fast track applying for an ehcp. We think we will try mainstream but we have looked at some amazing catch 22 schools which could cater for his needs if mainstream fails. (and I think take the pressure off me by dealing with him themselves a bit better)
Is this a possibility for you? Could you scrape together enough to get a private assessment? But make sure it would be accepted by schools too, we used a company who also work for camhs so we knew it would be accepted.
You need to find the best environment to manage your child, which will take the pressure off you work wise. My anxiety was awful theast year at the first primary but since moving our ds to a smaller primary who were accepting of his needs, it has taken a load off my shoulders

I used to have a part time admin job, they were very good at letting me flex my days/hours if I needed to go to appointments etc. My DH has now retired early so he can take on more of the carer role so I’m now doing more hours working in a cafe.

i have 2 with numerous disabilities each,16 and 10.
we have been H.E since 2015

truthfully me being their carer and educator is my job as both need constant supervision and care 24/7
and as we follow the unschooling learn through life approach learning is also 24/7

ok i dont get paid for the H.E but as both gets high dla and high pip and i get all the benefits that comes with being a single mother/carer so cant work

im not bragging but the amount of money that comes from all
this means we live a very well off life

His school have been fantastic. They didn’t suggest HE, it’s just what I suspect may need to happen if his anxiety levels are too high. The school have put loads in place for him- but he wouldn’t engage. He just totally shut down and wouldn’t even come in on an inset day when no other pupils were there to have a chat about what he needs and what he thinks school could do that will help him. He’s a totally different child outside of school and wants me to HE him. He has more faith in my abilities than I do! So I’m just preparing for that scenario to happen if it comes to it.

We think we will try mainstream but we have looked at some amazing catch 22 schools which could cater for his needs if mainstream fails. (and I think take the pressure off me by dealing with him themselves a bit better)
Is this a possibility for you? Could you scrape together enough to get a private assessment?

I’ve never heard of catch 22 schools so will look into it. I can’t afford private assessment or I would do it straight away. My credit cards are already at their limits, I’m permanently in my overdraft and I can’t get anymore credit.

www.surreycc.gov.uk/people-and-community/families/send-support/holiday-activities

If you come over to SEN board there might be lots of advice about the educational setting side and holiday respite for you, here is an example of holiday playschemes. My son for example enjoyed a drama group and a local sports week, whilst refusing actual full-time school in term.

Personally I think you need to get help finding the right educational setting, rather than a more flexible job. Have you been to your local parent partnership for advocacy on this aspect? In my area it is called something different but all LA s have them, they mediate between LA and parents on SEN issues and can hold your hand in meetings, draft EHCPs etc.
I'm just shocked they are suggesting you need to Home Ed, wonderful as that choice may be, it is a choice and shouldn't be forced on you.

I don't live in Surrey...that is just an example btw

You should really be searching special or specialist schools in your area or schools with proper support and inclusion and applying right now for an EHCP. You don't need a private assessment or a diagnosis, you just need evidence of need, and your DLA application is another piece of evidence along with medical reports, consultants names, SEN intervention, his behaviour in school, meetings re.
Perhaps you have done all this, I know the frustrating journey but don't give up on making the LA responsible. I used to think of it in terms of how much money I was saving them in long run by being demanding now.

He has an EHCP, he’s had it since p3. It’s not the school suggesting HE- it’s me thinking it’s what he’ll need. The school have been liaising with a specialist school about coming to work with him weekly but that’s all on hold now until September. If that doesn’t work school have suggested he attend the specialist school for a term. I’m hesitant tbh as I know some people who have worked with the school and they weren’t impressed. If that’s what his school recommend I’ll probably remove him and HE.

Ah, I see. I felt very much like you, that home ed was what he "needed"...however you do have to be realistic about how it is going to combine with paid work. The truth is that it is time consuming and unless you have a job that involves editing or bookkeeping or as I said bursts of highly paid tutoring that could possibly be done in the evenings you will find it frustrating doing two "jobs" simultaneously. DS needed to go out and see people, we spent a lot of time working on his social skills by socialising in home ed group settings, parks sports etc and then a bit of academic exploration, reading etc, writing. By ourselves 24/7 we would have been miserable. Just one or two friends made so much difference for him but that is time-consuming to facilitate and it doesn't happen by magic.