If you are a home educating or SEN parent what is your job?

[Pleasegiveexamples]

Right- DC early secondary age ADHD, possibly ASD (on the waiting list for assessment) not coping with school, has meltdowns, poor mental health, other physical medical issues. Lots of appointments, meetings with school, therapy etc. He’s been out of school for 6ish weeks and it’s still not certain he will manage back at school in September. He may have a part time timetable or phasing in. HE is on the cards. He can’t be left alone at all.

I’ve been self employed for years as a cleaner and a couple of years ago started doing laundry and ironing too. I’ve also had some part time employed work dotted through out too. I’m no use to any employer as the constant calls to go to the school, medical appointments and having to deal with school refusal days makes me totally unreliable and turns me into a massive ball of anxiety about how shit I am being at work. Being self employed is great- I have all the cleaning work I could want but again- my in reliability is a problem. Some clients are great and really patient- others understandably cancel me when I’ve had to cut short or cancel my visit. I haven’t worked in the 6ish weeks since DS stopped school.

The ironing & laundry work was coming in steadily and I had regulars. Then covid hit and it all stopped. I’ve been advertising like crazy and have had flyers printed and went door to door round town putting them through letterboxes. No takers. I was hoping it would be a reliable source of income now that I’m not able to clean but I’ve had nothing. I think because more people are at home/not working due to covid they’re doing it themselves. Anyway- I’m not getting any work.

There is no childcare available for DS, I have no partner and we haven’t heard from his father in years. There are no grandparents or family to help either.

I am on universal credit. Currently there are no obligations for me to search for work but I know that will end soon. Also my mental health is in my boots due to not being able to work and earn for myself. I hate it. I feel like a completely useless waste of space. I need to work. Not just because we are absolutely skint and living off credit cards.

So I need new ideas for work. I need something I can do at home that I can stop and start if DS needs me or something happens. I had started trying to sell things from our house on eBay but a few iffy buyers and now the new payment procedures have put me off completely. I can’t afford to send things for people to claim they haven’t received them and put in refund requests. I tried for some of the transcription websites but my typing was nowhere near good enough. I can’t sew or knit. I have no crafting talents.

What do you all do for work or what do you think might work for me?

I think it’s great that you would rather work and support yourself and your son, but I feel that - for now - you need to put this aside. I would second claiming DLA for your son. As another poster said, describe your worst ever day with your son. If you can get someone, say his teacher from his school, to also write something – we did this with our son, and his teacher really swung it for us, we believe – that will definitely help. He claims DLA, and you could claim carers allowance. I did this for many years with my son. I had a job to go back to, but because of his needs, I had to resign. You have to remember, that you need to do what is best for your family unit: you working here and there may not be the best thing at the moment. There is nothing to say that you cannot go back to work in the future. As for moving him to a specialist school… I certainly wouldn’t take other people’s opinions Into consideration. The school that my son is at has helped him enormously, and yet there is often people slagging it off. Go and see for yourself – you will soon get a feeling for the place if you think they could benefit your son. Being in the right environment has helped my son so much, and I will be forever grateful to his school for the assistance and support they have given all of us.

It is really difficult to balance everything. I tutor other children which was manageable as the DCs would play upstairs while I had pupils round for 30-60min lessons.

I’m now studying and looking for work but frankly the only reason I’m managing that is because my DH has become too unwell to work and is able to take on more of the HE (I still do more of the planning side).

I’m sorry things are so difficult, I wish I had helpful suggestions 💐

What Piffle said. When DS went back to school (with right mindset) aged 14 it was wonderful for him. But the bit in between, when I focussed on family unit to detriment of other "plans" was very good for him too.

You have my utmost sympathy @Pleasegiveexamples

I work 4 school days (with time to do drop off & pick up), term time only for a charity who is very understanding and happy for me to wfh or make up hours at other times. Even with all that and a very supportive DP it’s incredibly hard.

I was working more hours but it just wasn’t possible with a child with SEN. I dread being rung or being told there is a problem (in my view that school are totally daily to meet DCs needs!).

Hope you find something that works for you.
Perhaps you could find another parent whose child has a similar condition and support each other? I’ve found other SEN parents are the only ones who really understand the challenges.

I’ve seen adverts for virtual PA/ admin wfh that might be an option?

@OneinNine

I see you have already tried this but we do the ebay selling. Great use of my PhD!!!! I think success depends on choosing the right things to sell to avoid the problematic buyers. We sell books but there are certain things I would not sell such as clothes or electronic items which seem to attract the more troublesome buyers.

Thank you. I was really just selling what we have in the house- clothes I don’t wear and gift sets people have bought me that I can’t use.

You’ve all been lovely and helped me see things more clearly and accept that this probably won’t be possible for a while. I’m sad about that but it’s not going to be forever. He needs so much nurturing and time right now. He is a full time job in itself.