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Original poster

Downsizing and now questioning our decision

92 replies

ALbigbump · 14/07/2021 20:19

Hi, please can someone give me a handhold? Bought our lovely house with a huge garden and substantial mortgage a few years back when our dc was in year 2. As it’s in a small village around 4 miles from town/highschool, the plan was always to move close to town when the time came, around year 6 ready for the highschool and to downsize at the same time as we’d be in our late 40s and would like more disposable income and the freedom that a small mortgage brings. We’ve also had the stress of DH having periods of unemployment and furlough in the past year, so our finances have taken a hit. It’s nearly 4 years since we bought the house, which we’ve now sold, and found the house that ticks the boxes on the doorstep of high school, but am now struggling to get past the idea of downsizing to a busy cul de sac overlooking neighbouring gardens, from a lovely looking house with huge garden, quiet lane with views of fields! I’m doing DH’s head in. I just feel so torn! Has anyone done similar and not looked back? Or done it and is full of regret?

OP posts:
XingMing · 14/07/2021 21:44

Backing up @Blossomtoes, there are no Ubers within 50 miles of us, and public transport stops at 6.30pm (and it never goes anywhere useful).

Teach your kids to drive, buy a cheap oldish car with an engine under 1000 cc (something like an old Corsa, nowt fancy) and be prepared to scrap it at the end of its life, by which time, it will have enlarged their work options way beyond those of their friends who relied on the goodwill of their parental taxi service. DS worked for months as the breakfast chef at a five star country hotel miles from nowhere, starting at 6.45 am. Now he's studying television production at university. But he would probably not have got there without the work habits and experience.

Friday999 · 14/07/2021 21:45

Same here @Viviennemary. OP, you’re having so many doubts, it’s clearly not the right time.

PicaK · 14/07/2021 21:51

Back out of sale.
Remortgage to interest only - if equity allows - for financial breather.
Give yourself another few years to enjoy.

EleanorOlephantisjustfine · 14/07/2021 21:52

We downsized from a large four bed Victorian house to a 1960’s house that we renovated. It was quite a bit smaller. We paid a large chunk off our mortgage. We’ve never looked back. The new house is easier and quicker to clean and maintain. We absolutely love it. Honestly I wouldn’t panic and would just go with it. I doubt you’d regret it, from our experience. We couldn’t recommend it enough.

DGFB · 14/07/2021 21:54

We live in town precisely so our kids can go to see friends, walk around and meet up easily. They have a good life. But we also like being in town so it’s a no brainer for us. Only you know what you want. For us, a smaller mortgage is a big plus

LittleBearPad · 14/07/2021 21:55

If the school town is only 4 miles away that’s nothing for transport either as parent taxi or ubers.

KormasABitch · 14/07/2021 21:58

It's not about the size of the house, it's about privacy around you and open outlook.

Phineyj · 14/07/2021 22:02

4 miles?! Seriously, all this angst over 4 miles?

Original poster
ALbigbump · 14/07/2021 22:15

@Phineyj

4 miles?! Seriously, all this angst over 4 miles?
It’s not just about the 4 miles to school, it’s to live somewhere more sociable for ds and walking distance from town would be handy for all of us. It’s also about getting rid of our mortgage a lot sooner, so we have more flexibility when it comes to work and fun in the next few years (sick of the stress of work but I’m tied at the moment) we’re not losing and bedrooms or reception rooms they’re just smaller
OP posts:
justasking111 · 14/07/2021 22:16

We downsized abandoned country home two acres of garden. OH misses the lawn tractor barns, but youngest was 15 needed a social life weekend job. Our bungalow does have an upstairs bedroom and bathroom. Downstairs he had an office with a lazy boy chair to chill in a place to study away from us. I would hang on a bit but you know your finances. We're were also older than you are

LittleBearPad · 14/07/2021 22:21

4 miles is a 20/30 minute cycle ride. That’s nothing for a teenager.

Only you know your finances.

OakPine · 14/07/2021 22:23

We recently moved from a large suburban house with a massive garden. We moved into city centre (Edinburgh). Teenagers can walk to shops/cafes/museums etc. In the 10 years at the old house, kids were only in the garden a handful of times. I have offered them a move to a larger house in the countryside - they were horrified!
In our previous suburban life, we didn't know our neighbours well. Now that we are all living on top of each other, it is very friendly. Neighbours share unwanted food, cakes, unwanted furniture, dog walkers, babysitters etc. I find it very sociable.
This works well for us. Only you can know if this is right for your family. Good luck xx

KathyWilliams · 14/07/2021 22:24

OP, is there no middle ground? Are the houses close to school/town all estate/cul de sac type houses? I am not sure I could live in that kind of house (appreciate that my kind of house would be horrendous in the eyes of some people) - but I would also not have wanted to have an only child (teenager) in the middle of nowhere. I live within walking distance of town, and I'm very, very glad I do, as it has been a godsend with teenagers. I barely use my car, as their friends (many of whom live out in the sticks) all tend to come here as it's within staggering distance of nights out. I'd rather they were all here than driving around the countryside with God knows whom.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 14/07/2021 22:33

It's not a once and for all decision so dont view it as such. We relocated in 2017. My absolute must haves were decent secondary for dd3. 4 beds so the adult DC could come stay and walking distance to pub, shops, trains.
This gave us the choice of one house. It's not what I would have chosen but dd will be done with secondary in 3 years and the house has increased by 100k. Once she is off we will reconsider and look for our perfect house then without the constraints.

Feather12 · 14/07/2021 22:34

I wouldn’t even view it as downsizing I would view it as upgrading (location-wise). You will be so happy in a few years when your child can have true independence and there will be so much more for them to do. You won’t have to be the taxi driver, you will have more on your doorstep and more money to enjoy it all. I think it is a great idea!

IRanSoFarAway1 · 14/07/2021 22:39

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Zebracat · 14/07/2021 22:43

I downsized when I really didn’t want to because I had to stop work and it meant we could be mortgage free. I felt quite sad for a while, but actually now I love my house and it’s all fine. Don’t underestimate how good it feels to not worry about paying the bills every month.

justasking111 · 14/07/2021 22:44

@Viviennemary

I wouldn't downsize unless I was desperately hard up and just couldn't manage.
My late FIL said that a mortgage was a monkey on your back
itsnotmeitsu · 14/07/2021 22:46

@ALbigbump > '...struggling to get past the idea of downsizing to a busy cul de sac overlooking neighbouring gardens, from a lovely looking house with huge garden, quiet lane with views of fields!'

We moved to our present home nearly 20 years ago. We were moving back to a city we'd previously lived in. We found a house that is quite different to other properties around here, and all the more appealing for that. It's got several bedrooms and a very large garden. It's set back from the road. In a built-up area the peace, and the noise of the wildlife when you sat in the garden, was wonderful. On one side we had a school playing field, and on the other side a neighbour with an equally large garden. We'd moved from a new-build cul-de-sac (although it was a very well behaved one Smile).

Now, we have a building site on the playing field, with over 140 properties going up, and on the other side our neighbour sold off her garden to a developer and we have two semi-detached bungalows and eight buy-to-let properties being built on that side. We have some privacy due to our lovely native trees, but now I can't wait to move from this place. I hope, whichever way you go, it works out for you.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/07/2021 22:56

We lived abroad and downsized considerably in terms of square footage and garden. It was really hard. My dd lives in a medium sized village and we are 6 miles from the centre of a medium-sized city. Her school is almost 4 miles away.

I’d also be fine to be 4 miles from a largish town. I don’t understand why you want to move. Are you saying there are no children within walking distance? What about cycling?

Children in secondary quickly get a lot more mobile and will walk, cycle, take a bus or use you as a taxi to get around.

Original poster
ALbigbump · 14/07/2021 23:05

Apols if I’ve missed any questions here

The road to town is a v fast busy A road and the thought of him cycling on it would give me kittens, even as a fully cooked adult!

Reducing mortgage to a quarter of what it currently is.

We can afford to live here, but DH’s role is a bit uncertain and we love the idea of earning and not having to pay a shitload in mortgage each month.

Once things get back to normal we want to be able to afford nice hols.

Ds looking fwd to the move now, wasn’t keen initially but really likes next place.

Thanks for all of your responses, really helpful and I really appreciate it x

OP posts:
Snowtimex7 · 14/07/2021 23:08

My parents in law just downsized. I would really think through how much stuff you have and space you want to have. Unfortunately they’ve been a month in and now planning to build out into the small garden as they have no space… also have a full storage locker. They also aren’t sure about the busy road. Just make sure you are aware in your mind how much space you want and what you will get rid off. Be prepared for hobbies and space also teens want a decent size room desks etc. Check the area at all times of the day you don’t want crazy traffic!

Downsizing can be amazing! Freeing and financially freeing if you are struggling with money. I get the move to be near people but make sure you will be happy to x

Porcupineintherough · 14/07/2021 23:10

Your reasons for downsizing seem really good ones to me OP. Your current location doesnt sound great for a teen. If he lives somewhere he can be more independent and you have less financial stress, and you live in a busier place that gives you lots of opportunities to develop some new interests.

Horehound · 14/07/2021 23:22

Hey. I literally just did this. Moved from a country village where we had a five bedroom house and swimming pool and large garden to my hometown and bought a 3 bed semi detached eduardian home with smallish garden.

Things I like about the move to town:
No commute! We were commuting 40 mins each way and with our little boy also going into town for nursery it was just too much. So now he is a 2 MIn walk from nursery and we have so much time back in the day plus a huge saving on fuel and car mileage!

Everything is nearby! My family, friends, our workplaces, parks, the beach is a 10 min walk...we didn't even have a shop in the village so this is a big change for the better.

The house size is fine but I miss storage space, however we can put in built in wardrobes etc and make other changes when we are more settled and know more of what we want to do with the place.

Things I miss about the old house:
The wildlife in the garden. We had woodpeckers and pheasants etc and now we have blackbirds and pigeons...

The house we sold was actually amazing and we got it for a steal. However we did sell for a 60k profit after owning it only 4 years. If I could have picked up the house and moved it to the town, I would have.

But apart from that I really don't miss anything. It was a faff to have to drive absolutely everywhere. Got snowed in for days and days. Little one had long journeys which weren't fair on him. Moving to town is definitely the right decision for us at this moment in our life and just remember, you can always move again!

I don't think we will stay here forever but maybe 5+ years. I'm waiting on my childhood home coming up for sale and the owners said they would email me when they are thinking about it. No move has to be permanent but it might be just what you need for the next wee while

Horehound · 14/07/2021 23:46

Oh and bills are cheaper!!

A consideration of ours was also for our son to have friends nearby.
When I was young we lived about 4 miles out of town and it was a faff for my parents to drive me and my brother everywhere and we did miss out on stuff if we couldn't get lifts. The road was not good to cycle etc. My dad said recently he wished we lived in a town when we were younger and that he thinks we've made the right decision for now.

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