Ive always been the type who tells the truth, honours decency and likes to live true to my heart. I make a point of not 'using' people or making my way forward in a mercenary fashion, so, for example I am not the type who would put money before love, and have always judged people on their behaviour rather than their abilities/status.
I want to add that I don't do this because I think it is correct, it is just who I am, generally.
I have no intention of trying to harden myself, but when I look around me, even the loveliest people I know tend to 'schmooze' or look out for social capital. And of those who do this, regardless how comfortably off they are/are not, seem to always land on their feet.
I am soon starting afresh, having prepared to leave my long term relationship of 20 yrs (we are good friends) and will be looking for a new place to rent, with a view to self sufficiency. I am self employed but on a. creative income so will need to add some extra work or ideas to go forward. I also have over 40k in the bank and I am excited to get moving.
However, I will be fussing about where to live, what to spend, how to get some extra work, make new friends and contacts, etc.
In comparison, I have a good friend who has always been a good social schmoozer who has literally no savings or work at present, and having amassed a decent level of social capital he is now in line for a new job and someone giving him their flat for 6 months while they're away.
Another friend, who I used to call 'mercenary' manages to always wind up in a wonderful position due to who she befriends. She is long term disabled and not working but thankfully has a pretty nice life with a cottage and garden (good connections to a lovely landlord).
Some seem to just land lucky, even when they have no assets.
Do I need to become a little more flexible with my own schmoozing and quit being to pure and true to these pretty ambiguous ideals?
What say you lot?