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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand how people can treat horses like cars?

123 replies

IJustLovePirates · 13/07/2021 14:03

I was looking at ‘active’ threads earlier and inadvertently stumbled across the Tack Room for horse owners. Which just reminded me of something that has bothered me for years....

How do people who profess to love their horses seem to continually swap them for faster/bigger/younger models. I live in a rural area, 8 see the adverts in the local farming supplements about horses that have been ‘outgrown’ . And people looking to upgrade/swap for a better horse.

Surely if you buy a child a horse, it should be like any other pet and you should expect to have it for life?

Or AIBU?

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 13/07/2021 18:53

If you buy a pony for a child, which is then outgrown, that pony can either spend the rest of its days bored stupid, unchallenged and unexercised in a field, or it can be passed on to a new owner who will love it and give it an active and interesting life.

OldCow1 · 13/07/2021 19:20

Horse owners are as much a mixed bunch as everyone else. You get good and bad. Many horses are definitely pets. Some are working animals that are part of their owner's livelihood. From the owners I've met, most are very concerned for their horse's wellbeing and are very careful who they sell to, if they do.

Schrutesbeets · 13/07/2021 19:23

YANBU, using sentient beings as commodities!

jacks11 · 13/07/2021 19:31

Many equines- ponies especially- require work to keep their weight at a level which is safe for them. Once outgrown they cannot be ridden by the child (for both their sakes) and so something has to be done.

You make sure the pony goes to the best home. One of ours has been on loan to various families for the last 10 years. He is as happy as Larry- and much better off having a job and being kept fit and healthy than standing around in our field at risk of laminitis.

OldCow1 · 13/07/2021 19:31

Should add, professionals just as likely to be picky over who they sell to as people who have them as pets.

mayblossominapril · 13/07/2021 19:32

I had to sell my ponies due to a change in circumstances, I wasn't happy about it but had no choice. The next horse a number of years later was old when I bought her, we had many happy years together and I was still ploddling round on her a few weeks before she died, aged 35.
Next I will be looking for an older lead rein pony. If its still happy to work when we have out grown it I will loan it out.

Floralnomad · 13/07/2021 19:39

There are 2 different types of horse owner . Type A , buys an animal and keeps it for life irrespective of whether it can work , whether they can afford a horse to ride as well as a field ornament etc . Type B buys an animal and moves it on when it has served its purpose , they’ve outgrown it etc . Neither is right or wrong as there will be lots of type Bs that will tell you that ponies like working etc . I’m a type A , I’ve been a horse / pony owner for 40+ years , the last 15+ of those being the proud owner of my children’s retired pony ( shes 28) .

CaptainThe95thRifles · 13/07/2021 19:45

Horses for courses. I don't sell mine (by choice, at least, there's always the possibility of a bankrupt tomorrow), but plenty of horse owners are happy to sell up if their horse doesn't suit them.

Unlike dogs / cats which are most desirable at the cute puppy / kitten stage, middle aged, experienced horses are very much in demand because they're generally better equipped for their job and are less of an unknown quantity than young horses. There's a strong market for good, mature horses, and a good horse will probably get a decent home. Unless you can afford to hoard ponies and collect a small herd, it's understandable to move on outgrown ponies or horses which aren't appropriate for their current rider - it's not cheap to own horses, and people are mostly doing the best they can with limited budgets / skills / facilities.

Personally, I don't like the idea of one of mine being passed on and ending up in a bad home, so I keep mine and collect them instead. It's expensive, a lot of work and a bit daft, but we all have our little eccentricities Grin I don't even like selling cars on!

I can't stand the sale (or worse, gifting) of very old or injured horses though. That too often ends very badly.

NotMyCat · 13/07/2021 23:16

Mine was fairly typical I think
Bought horse when I was 11, sold her when I was 16 as I was over horsed (she was too much for me) and then bought an ex racer Hmm
I had him until he developed incurable lameness and he told me it was time so I had him PTS because he was older, lame and it was the kindest thing
Decided never to have another horse, quit riding

Found a loan horse who turned out to have been stabled next door to the ex racer I had a decade ago (I remember stroking her as she was in the next stable)! And thought it was probably a sign. Loaned her for just under a decade, she died in 2019
Even though I have sold a horse on, they are still very much loved by me. I physically collapsed when my last one was found dead in the field, and I howled so much for days even my teeth hurt. It's like being homesick but your home has gone

OhRene · 13/07/2021 23:19

I do have to laugh when someone who doesn't actually know about the horse world has the opinion of how terrible it is (for the animals).
I was raised by a horse enthusiast (addict? Obsessed?) mother and I can tell you, her human babies got far less money, attention and regular feeds than her precious little ponies did. A horsey person may very well spend every penny prioritising their horses and ponies over their own lifestyle.
DSis and I got ill fitting hand me downs and had to make a coat and shoes last for over a year, rips and all, whereas if a new New Zealand rug was needed, a new rug was bought. Horse shows were unmissable but a school assembly? Meh. She'd come if she could.
The ponies got fed before we ever did. Never feel sorry for a pet pony or horse unless it's actually abused. Odds are it's got a better, pandered life than humans.

TeardropsFallingOnHotSand · 13/07/2021 23:24

My first pony was second hand and already 20 years old when I got him. My children, grandchildren and even my great grandchildren rode him, but sadly he had to be incinerated when he got woodworm.

gwenneh · 13/07/2021 23:58

Even though I have sold a horse on, they are still very much loved by me. I physically collapsed when my last one was found dead in the field, and I howled so much for days even my teeth hurt. It's like being homesick but your home has gone.

You never stop loving the heart-horses, do you? I still can't wear the bracelet made from a lock of the tails of my two, I get too emotional.

I, too, have never actually sold a horse on. But that doesn't mean I don't understand why it is done.

NotMyCat · 14/07/2021 00:18

@gwenneh never. I have rings with her tail hair in that I wear every day. I think the pandemic made it worse as trying to get used to being without a horse and then shielding.. I just wanted to go to her

user1477391263 · 14/07/2021 00:22

Surely if you buy a child a horse, it should be like any other pet and you should expect to have it for life?

They're not just pets, they are also there to be ridden. It's pretty daft to keep a horse that a child is now too big to ride and they cost an absolute fortune to feed. And I'm pretty sure the horses are fine with switching owners. They are not hairy four-legged humans.

Original poster
IJustLovePirates · 14/07/2021 07:05

Thanks for all the replies. It’s been an interesting read. I understand the rationale behind getting a small pony for a child and then getting progressively larger ones, but I can’t grasp the lack of emotion behind it. Surely a child would get to love their horse? Seems really cold hearted to swap it. To follow my own analogy, I was heartbroken when my first car, a little red Mazda ‘died’, so cant imagine parting with a horse.And I was brought up with “A puppy is for life. Not just for Christmas” I just think that horses should be the same.

But I do see other people’s perspectives, and appreciate everyone who took the time to reply :)

OP posts:
LemonySippet · 14/07/2021 08:09

@IJustLovePirates Lack of emotion? I kept my 1st pony after I grew out of her, and passed her onto my sister, until she grew out of her. At that point, I was doing my GCSEs and I didn't have the time to continue all the part time jobs to afford my horse and that first pony, so we found her a home with a family with 4 young girls where she could stay until the end of her days. I am 40 now, and I can still remember now as clearly as if it was yesterday the day we took her there, wanting the 4 mile walk to be longer because I wanted it to never end. As I left her in her new stable and turned away I was literally blinded by tears, I couldn't see a single thing and my mum had to catch me before I fell. I was 15. I didn't go back to school for 2 days because I couldn't stop crying. My heart still catches now when I think of her, she was my heart and soul, my best friend.

But it was the right thing to do, to find her a home where she would be loved and could potter about with a new family of young children, rather than left forlorn to scream her head off every time I went out alone on my horse.

countrygirl99 · 14/07/2021 08:19

A horse is more akin to a husband than a pet. If your personalities don't work together or you want different things from life there is no point in sticking together.

Original poster
IJustLovePirates · 14/07/2021 08:30

Sorry @LemonySippet and anyone else I’ve upset.

As I said before, I live in a rural area. There’s a free newspaper with ‘Horses for Sale’ adverts and the tone of some of them have disturbed me.

Anyway thanks again for everyone who has taken the time to give me their points of view.

OP posts:
HeadNorth · 14/07/2021 08:42

@countrygirl99

A horse is more akin to a husband than a pet. If your personalities don't work together or you want different things from life there is no point in sticking together.
This describes very well! Marriages can be strong bonds for life or you can both outgrow each other. I prefer not to judge, as long as there is kindness and respect and no one is used badly or abused.
Hoppinggreen · 14/07/2021 10:06

Of course I loved my first pony, we taught eachother to ride!
However, selling her to another little girl when I couldn’t ride her anymore was the right thing to do for My pony. It would have been selfish to keep her.
If you do want to compare horses to other pets sometimes you have to do what is best for them rather than what you want

CaptainThe95thRifles · 14/07/2021 11:05

the tone of some of them have disturbed me

I'm about as far up to my neck in the horse world as it's possible to be, and I find the tone of some adverts disturbing too. Sometimes people are trying to be funny or attention grabbing, and sometimes people just aren't good at expressing themselves in writing.

Of course, some people are just dicks and don't give a toss about their animals (or kids, as in a PP).

Floralnomad · 14/07/2021 11:11

What always makes me chuckle a bit is people who say , I sold my pony but I checked that it was going to a lovely home otherwise I wouldn’t have sold it . Likewise adverts that say ‘needs a 5* home’ . Once the pony / horse is sold you have absolutely no idea what will happen to it , it may be sold on to a not nice home within weeks or months . Horses are being abused and neglected all over the country at the moment and that is a risk I was never willing to take with any of mine .

Hoppinggreen · 14/07/2021 11:23

Unless you visit regularly and get photos sent etc Floral

Didiplanthis · 14/07/2021 11:28

@MotionActivatedDog

I have been known to threaten to trade mine for a sheep and take up knitting.

😂😂😂

God... don't do that my sheep is 100x more of a PITA than my pony !!!
CaptainThe95thRifles · 14/07/2021 11:36

You can't expect to visit a pony you've sold on regularly though Shock If you want to do that, you should put them out on loan. Lots of owners won't even have previous owners on their social media, let alone let them visit.

If you sell a horse on, you lose control over its future. That's the reality - but it doesn't necessarily mean the horse will suffer, or that it's wrong to sell on. People have to make the right decision for them and for their horses.