To say that their lives have thrived without me?

[LemonSherbetFancies]

I am having a down day and been in tears all evening.
Something made me look back at people I used to know. One, my former best friend who hurt me deeply, another friend who stole from me and who told me that she was not surprised I had been made redundant. Then an old boss who bullied me and would constantly yell at me.
Well, all of them on Facebook and Google searches all have great lives and seem incredibly happy. Aibu to say I must be pretty pointless if I am so easily removed from people's lives who I used to once be very close to over a period of many years?

OP people just move on. Life doesn't stop because you fall out with a friend. Nothing to do with you being pointless. That's a strange way to look at it.

Sorry to hear you have had a bad day. I bet the lives they portray on social media are anything but perfect. If they are lying, cheating, bullying types they will be lying on social media too. Don't look back - sounds like you are well rid of them

There's no connection between these things.

I'm sorry you are feeling so unhappy.

Exactly what blue said. Step away from following them on sm OP!

all of them on Facebook and Google searches all have great lives and seem incredibly happy

The quality of people's lives on SM and IRL are inversely correlated.

The worst marriages IRL for example are always #blessed on SM with anniversary posts about how wonderful everything is. Pure bollocks really.

It’s a bit odd to expect old acquaintances entire lives to not carry on or to be significantly affected just because you’re not in it anymore.

Besides social media isn’t exactly a good measure of the people’s reality

I'm worried it's me and that I am not as worthy of love or friendship as other people. They are better off without me, their lives have got so much nicer. I feel like I just bring bad luck and annoyance to others and that when I have disappeared, things looked up for them.

Apart from the boss, these are not just old acquientances. These were people I was once close to for many years.

You're presence or absence in their life is not the one factor in their happiness or success. And life is rarely as shiny and wonderful as it appears on social media.

Or because you are removed from their lives, you only see the highlights and SM worthy moments rather than their day to day lives and possible struggles.

Have you tried counselling? Because it is a bit of a strange, inverse narcissism to think everyone's lives are somehow made worse by you.

We've all got people in our lives who we were once close too as then either grew apart from or fell out with. Doesn't mean it's anything to do with you. Also, they sound like arseholes. Onwards and upwards!

Also, counselling sounds a good idea, to help you process some of this and put in perspective. Best of luck OP

Gently, OP - those things aren't connected.

Their lives may be great, but you not being in them isn't the reason.Your existence isn't ruining the lives you are in - quite the opposite - and you deserve your own happy life, not looking up people who treated you badly and doing yourself emotional damage by obsessing over the results.

Let them go. They weren't good to you. You deserve better than that.

The people I know with truly happy lives don't advertise them on FB. The more perfect a life appears on FB the more likely it is to have fractures underneath.

I bet you could 'curate' your life to make it sound wonderful, even if all you do if take stylish photos of cups of coffee beside pretty notebooks in stylish cafes or pretty flowers in the local park and put arch little comments about 'me time'.

Remember, they still have to live with themselves and they don't sound particularly pleasant.

Just seems too much of a coincidence that they have all gone on to thrive.
I know social media isnt always reality but they have all done great for themselves professionally and personally. They don't miss me and are probably just glad to have me out of their lives.

And do not even think about me or possibly even remember me.

@LemonSherbetFancies

And do not even think about me or possibly even remember me.

So why are letting them live rent-free in your head?

I only looked tonight. It just upset me.

Op, I would not take what you see on social media as much really.

Fucking hell, if you were to see my SM you'd probably think my life was perfect, but its not. No one posts the bad stuff.

I also have friends who's lives look amazing on SM.
One who's just set up business, Inc premises. Truth is she has just signed onto a MLM, hasn't got a premises she owns (she categorically says she does) she has arranged to rent it from her upline when she has appts, and has had to sell household items to make back the money for bills.

One posts like she's rich, has bought her own home, except actually lives in a council property

Another talks about her husband being perfect, except she knows he sleeps with prostitutes and cheats on her.

Another who's a family man, all for the family! throwing money about, except he's bankrupt and has a massive coke problem.

Don't give them a thought, they did you wrong.

I'm trying to say this nicely... you seem a bit paranoid and depressed. Are you getting any help? This isn't really a normal train of thought.

@LemonSherbetFancies

Just seems too much of a coincidence that they have all gone on to thrive. I know social media isnt always reality but they have all done great for themselves professionally and personally. They don't miss me and are probably just glad to have me out of their lives.

Well if you really want to think that then fine I guess.

Or you could concentrate on your own happiness and not worry yourself with what other people are doing.

@MrsTerryPratchett

Have you tried counselling? Because it is a bit of a strange, inverse narcissism to think everyone's lives are somehow made worse by you.

This ^^ 100%

"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do" - Eleanor Roosevelt.

lemonsherbertfancies I know so many people on Facebook who show very little of what their life is really like. Facebook etc isn’t there to show you the real worries, fears etc Don’t take their social media pages as gospel.

Sorry you feel down; I've been there and done this very thing - no good comes from it. Step away from FB. What we see on SM is just a snippet of people's lives, what they want us to see. It does not signify that the rest is equally rosy. Even if it were, don't let it upset you. Life goes on, and hopefully there is good with the not so good, and we move through it all.

and to cheer you up.