Have you been totally honest with your partner?

[Orangedots]

We were having a discussion at work about precious sexual partners and what we’ve each told our current partner/spouse. Rather mixed responses!

Have you been totally honest about your previous sexual experiences with your current partner/spouse.

YABU: my partner knows everything
YANBU: I may have exaggerated my past experience etc

No judgement either way, and your vote is anonymous.

If someone hasn’t been totally honest or made themselves out to be more experienced than they are, do you think you can still have an honest relationship?

Exaggerated?! Minimised...

My husband is aware of the singular sexual partner I had before I was with him, yes.

This sounds like a journalist.

With DP 17 years and we have never talked about our previous partners. I honestly couldn't care less. The fact he has never asked me any questions must mean he doesn't care either.

I don't think anyone should have to disclose any information about their sex life if they don't want to. Just because your in a relationship does not mean you are not entitled to some privacy.

We have never discussed our number of sexual partners although have shared the odd funny story about an ex when relevant. We agreed that whatever happened before we got together is irrelevant - obviously we knew neither of us were virgins as that might have affected our initial experience together!

He’s never asked, so I’ve never told. And I’ve never asked him either. I always think it’s a bit strange to want to know about your partner’s previous sexual encounters.

We’re both obviously aware through general discussions about life that we’ve had previous partners/relationships, but anything beyond that is unnecessary IMO.

C) This isn't something we ever discussed. Why would you? We mentioned the most meaningful relationships as they became useful in specific contexts. We've not hidden anything, but neither have we needed to give each other a breakdown as such.

It's not something we've discussed. He knows about my most recent ex boyfriends from before we met but he's never asked me how many people I've had sex with and I've never asked him.
I can't see why it would have any bearing on our relationship either way.

He doesn't know everything. I didn't give him names, dates, addresses😂
I am not hiding anything though. If he asks or it comes up i answer and vice versa

Erm no he doesn't know the real number and he doesn't need to know its my private information he thinks what I've told him is the truth. 15 years on I think it's irrelevant now.

Never discussed, never hidden anything either but not interested, wouldn't want to know, especially as we live in a small place and I'd likely know some of them! I don't know how many I've had sex with anyway, oh dear!

We don’t discuss our previous sex lives. It’s weird to do so.

We don't talk about it. He's aware I wasn't living as a nun prior to meeting him

Why would you?

You have to talk about these kind of things at work?!?

My DH doesn’t want to know really. We’ve had vastly different lives before meeting each other. To be honest if I made a point of telling him he’d probably be annoyed. I know about his life and I’m ok with that.

What about you op?

Why would anyone exaggerate??? I imagine if anything they'd downplay it. My husband and I are together since we were 19 so there wasn't any massive history to give him.

You have to talk about these kind of things at work?!?

It was hardly an official work meeting, she's obviously talking about a chat with colleagues.

My past sexual encounters are none of my dh's business

God no. I dated 3 of my male friends in my youth, way before meeting my partner and never told him. We are all good friends now.

Eurgh, no. He’s never asked and I’ve never asked him either. He’s told me a couple of stories I’d rather not have known about but I don’t think I’ve ever really told him anything. I’m honestly not interested, prefer not to think about the past too much.

No, I've not given every detail. Why would he want to know? I don't want to know about every shag he's ever had!

We've both got a few significant exs we know about, but we don't even share the details of that too closely tbh!!

We know most of each other's history. Mostly because we've known each other for quite some time and have talked about various things before we got together and after. E.g. He's known me since before I got divorced and knew about my relationship after my divorce, I know what happened with his ex's because he's talked about it when talking about his kids.

Why on earth would anyone exaggerate? I’ve heard of people minimising but why exaggerate - if you’re the sort who is bothered about how many partners your current partner has had then I’d imagine you’d also buy into the idea that less is better or somehow more virtuous for women? And if men were going to exaggerate they’d more likely do it to their mates than their wife surely?

Anyway we’ve never discussed numbers as it’s completely irrelevant to our life together. From context it’s not really hard to work out that my number is higher but we’ve never felt the need to to into specifics. We’ve swapped the off dating horror story and know about the significant/ long term exes just from general conversation of the ‘oh yeah I’ve been to Berlin’ ‘oh really who did you go there with?’ type when we were getting to know each other.

I'm really surprised at the amount of people who don't talk about this and think it's weird to do so! I'd definitely want to know. I'm single but would always be honest if I met someone and would hope they'd be honest with me.