Is this too young to leave children alone?

[Dolores25]

I don’t have children so I could be wrong about this but I’m wondering what other people think of this scenario.

DH and I went to the pub last night to watch the England game. We go semi regularly to this pub and know quite a few of the regulars and are quite friendly with a few of the couples, also see them in other local pubs/restaurants/out and about and have a chat etc.

One of the couples came in at about 7pm. Later on in the evening couple came over to say hello, general chat about the game etc. Making conversation I said something along the lines of ‘oh it’s great you were able to get a babysitter’ , women laughed and said oh we didn’t DD is looking after them.
DD is 11 , year 7. Other 2 children are around 1 and 4.

Is this unreasonable? I was quite shocked at the time but didn’t say anything as not having children I didn’t want to judge their decisions but I can’t stop thinking this morning that it seems a bit young. Pub is probably a 10 minute car journey to their house, they were both drinking but can’t say how much. Guessing more than would allow them to jump in the car to get home for an emergency. We left at 11 and they were still there.

I wouldn't do it. There's no set age in law, but if something happened, it would be for the parents to justify their decision.

Too much responsibility for an 11 year old. Wrong.

Totally unacceptable. I wouldn't leave an 11yo that long at night. The responsibility of looking after 2 much younger siblings at that age is far too much.

I think it'd be OK for an hour or so during the day but not at night when the parents were a drive away. (I don't have kids either so people might disagree).

No way would I leave a one year old for any length of time with a sibling of 11. They could fall or eat something or anything! Totally irresponsible IMO.

It's possible the 2 younger ones were in bed already. I used to babysit at 11/12 and there were no mobile phones back then.

Definitely unreasonable to let a child that young in charge of a 1 year old and a 4 year old

Too young

Totally irresponsible

Are you sure there isn’t an older sibling? I didn’t know my neighbour had an adult child til last week and I’ve lived next to and chatted to her for 8 years!

Too young. It's a big risk

A sensible 11 year old looking after a 4 year old could be fine, but not for 4+ hours. An 11 year old shouldn’t be looking after a 1 year old though!

If the younger two were in bed and asleep and the older two can be trusted not to argue and fall out, then I don't think it's too bad. Don't think I'd do it myself though.

No, completely unacceptable.

Things can go wrong with babies very quickly. Our neighbour's baby once had a seizure in the middle of the night and an ambulance had to be called. No way an 11 year old should be caring for a 1 year old (or even the 4 year old).

@wishing3 definitely no older sibling.

I didn’t know there was no law, that has put my mind at ease a bit as I guess she knows her DD and must think she’s capable. They are out quite a lot though so now wondering how often DD looks after them but suppose none of my business really.

My 11 year old is a great little mum to my 2 and 4 year olds. She changes nappies, gets them ready for bed, helps them brush their teeth, have a wash and reads them bedtime stories. I don't ask her to do any of it. She has an ulterior motive though; once the little ones are in bed, she gets me to herself for an hour.

I would never, ever leave her alone in the house with them though, despite the fact I have no doubt she could take care of them. It's too much responsibility for a child of that age.

Awful parenting, putting their enjoyment before children's safety

Getting pissed up at the pub instead of watching the match at home

My youngest is almost 1 and eldest is 11, there’s absolutely no way I’d leave my 11 year old to look after him. Not in the least because I caught him trying move DS from a potentially dangerous situation by attempting to move his head the other day! An 11 year old is definitely not responsible enough to care for someone so tiny and it’s hugely unfair to expect that.

I would, however, consider leaving my 11 year old home alone in this situation because I trust him, he has a phone and he’s mature enough to deal with it. Not with the 1 year old though, no way.

The younger 2 may well have been in bed when the parents left, but there are no guarantees that they will stay that way! I used to find it stressful if both mine woke screaming at the same time, I don't think an 11 yo should have to deal with that! Young children can become ill very quickly - they wouldn't know the signs to look out for.

Very very wrong
There is no legal age as such but they could be prosecuted if anything happened.

Completely irresponsible.
Bad enough if there had been 2 x 11 yr olds, but to leave an 11 yr old responsible for a little one and a baby for all that time is neglectful.

TBF my dd would have been fine aged 11 looking after 2 sleeping babies, with brilliant neighbours either side of us.

No way.

The question isn't can the 11 year old look after her siblings under normal conditions? It's could she cope (and is it fair to expect her to cope) in an emergency?

Also, the 11 yo presumably had school this morning. The parents were still in the pub at past 11pm. The 11 yo couldn't go to bed until parents were home which is unreasonable.