I don't know what to do, I feel like I've potentially met my match but OMG his hair is terrible!

[cheesecadet]

Ok, so after many years of OLD I went on a paid dating site and was drawn to a man who seemed just my type. He's seen all the bands that I like, dresses different to most - nice hats, and has the confidence to dress in vibrant shirts etc.

We chatted for a few weeks and is was all very fluent, we bounced off each other as we had so much to talk about. He seemed so genuine, gentlemanly, and asked lots of questions about me.

Some men that I've met have been very different to chat to in person but I knew this one would be the same when we met. He was. He drove 20 odd miles to see me, I've never had anyone do this before.

Whilst messaging he said that he was potentially going to shave his hair as he's been very unlucky with losing it on the top, and it's got much worse. He's really enjoyed having long hair but he needed to take the plunge!

On his photos he's wearing hats and I didn't notice his long hair as it possibly could have been up/tucked in his hat. He says that his beard, which I love, is a focal point because of the hair loss.

On the date, he was so lovely, he listened to everything that I said with interest and commented on everything so sweetly. I felt like it was the best conversation I've had on a date ever. I found him very attractive.

But omg his hair when he took his hat off, he had a long bit swept over the top of his head and the rest was all one length down to his long neck but it looked so flat, it really didn't suit him. He's 40.

Whilst I try to sympathise, I really think he could make it look far better to emphasise his good looks.

So we were messaging after the date and he asked if he was what I hoped. (I told him on the date that I thought he was very attractive, with a lovely smile and enjoyed his conversations very much). So I reiterated that I found him very attractive etc and also that I agreed with him about shaving his hair/cutting it as it would look amazing, and suit & compliment his face. He says he's getting it cut before a wedding in a few weeks.

I am attracted to him and there's a definite connection.

I knew he used to love having long hair but I thought it was a thing of the past as he wears a lot of hats. I can't explain how terrible it looked.

Hopefully it'll be a decent cut, but what if he just has it trimmed and it's similar?! I appreciate that it's just him and I should just like him for him. Do you think what I said to him is a bit mean, would you say anything further, or what and see?

Thank you.

We hugged and had a peck on the lips, like a full on peck! It felt great but not sure what that means, I'm so out of practice!

Good luck with it all. He sounds very nice but just give yourselves time.

On my first date with my oh it was perfect. We got on so well, perfectly suited, couldn't stop talking BUT, when he smiled right at the end of the date I saw a tooth that put me off. Shallow? Perhaps, but it's how I felt. I didn't date him again for a while but we became friends and hung out a lot. I learned that he brushes regularly, looks after his oral hygiene well, goes to the dentist regularly, and I got over it. 15 years of bliss followed and I hope for more! Your chap is getting a hair cut. Wait and see!

Aww, sweet! FWIW, my DM met my stepdad in the mid 70s when he had a proper Bobby Charlton combover going on. Now he was very nice looking and charismatic with a strong moustache at the time, and she married him because he was fabulous.

But she never loved the combover and it took her 10 years to convince him to get rid of it. They were together for 40 years.

Sounds lovely OP.

Definitely hang in there and see how it goes.

I certainly wouldn't ditch a lovely man for the sake of a hair cut.

Thank you everyone! Lovely stories there...

His hair was much cleaner this time. He's a perfect gentleman, kind and considerate. We chatted after the date and I told him that I liked him. He said that he liked me too, and that I'm such a positive, lovely lady. We said a lot more, in fact with had so many conversations since we first started chatting and we've planned date 3. It feels longer and we're really getting to know each other.

I get butterflies when I think of him. And I'm so glad I saw him again. I do think first impressions count but you were all right in seeing through the hair thing. He's so lovely.

Thanks again.

I thought I’d already posted this but can’t see it. Your posts OP remind me so much of Married at First Sight Australia (Season 5 I think). There was Simon and Elinia - Simon had the most god-awful long perm-like curly hair. Then Elinia made him cut it - and suddenly everyone fancied him!

This made me giggle. When I first met DH he’d just decided to shave his head at random and he looked fucking horrible. I was brazen at the time and told him he looked a lot better with hair and he totally agreed. He had an awkward few months growing it out and looked a bit like a fuzzy tennis ball but his hair has looked great ever since .

Hair really can define a person’s face. Sometimes with guys it’s a lot better to just go completely bald. Alan Shearer looks a million times better since he stopped clinging to the little tufts and I wish Prince William would get rid of his.

Thanks for the further replies! Yes it can change a look completely, either for the better or worse. But I'm concentrating on the person that he is and that's so attractive.