AIBU disabled DC and school trip

[Manic20201]

My DC class is going on a school trip at the end of term. They school are refusing to take them due to disability ( tube fed )
We have had medical clearance from health team and she has a trained 1–1.
AIBU to believe ( this is now nearly 4 years of never attending a school trip ) that it’s getting ridiculous. She is so sad about it and waited a long time to go.

The Op has also given examples of the trips she hasn’t been allowed on in the past. A trip to a business on the same road as the school and a trip to the park. Neither of which are high risk activities and ensuring she can attend shouldn’t take too much adjustment.

I take it the people who are championing the school’s cause don’t actually have children with disabilities? No. Didn’t think so.

Anyone’s child here is potentially just a car crash away from being in the OP’s DD’s situation. People might want to think about how they would feel if it was their child being excluded before they start defending the exclusion of someone else’s child.

Bet those same parents would be up in arms if someone didn’t invite their precious child to an all class party eh?

The ambulance thing confuses me, I’ve been in an ambulance many a time from school over the years with children. You can hardly send them alone and it does occasionally happen.
In general taking children with medical issues isn’t unusual, wheelchair, tube fed, brittle bones etc… it’s generally the norm in schools.
Personally I think it’s time for formal complaints to the governors/ the LA. Cite the disability act. It’s horrible fight but she’s got 3 more years left so it’s worth it.

@scrambledcustard

The child's medical professional have stated there is no medical reason she shouldn't go.

Do you know more about the circumstances than the OP, her child, and her medical team?

Am so fed up of this disablist shite. The child is entitled to the same school experiences as her peers, if it is safe to do so, which it has been confirmed to be.

The OP does not need to attend the trip, and should not be guilted and judged for not doing so.

@AlternativePerspective

I take it the people who are championing the school’s cause don’t actually have children with disabilities? No. Didn’t think so.

Anyone’s child here is potentially just a car crash away from being in the OP’s DD’s situation. People might want to think about how they would feel if it was their child being excluded before they start defending the exclusion of someone else’s child.

Bet those same parents would be up in arms if someone didn’t invite their precious child to an all class party eh?

She's not being excluded. They have just asked her mum to go.

I'd go.

[quote DumplingsAndStew]@scrambledcustard

The child's medical professional have stated there is no medical reason she shouldn't go.

Do you know more about the circumstances than the OP, her child, and her medical team?

Am so fed up of this disablist shite. The child is entitled to the same school experiences as her peers, if it is safe to do so, which it has been confirmed to be.

The OP does not need to attend the trip, and should not be guilted and judged for not doing so.[/quote]
She can go. The Mum has just been asked to attend too.

The OP has already explained why she can’t go.

She shouldn’t have to go. The school should find a way to make it work that doesn’t involve Mum having to add even more to her load.

And of course let’s not forget being the only one with Mum on the trip with her isn’t fair on the child either!

@AlternativePerspective

I take it the people who are championing the school’s cause don’t actually have children with disabilities? No. Didn’t think so.

Anyone’s child here is potentially just a car crash away from being in the OP’s DD’s situation. People might want to think about how they would feel if it was their child being excluded before they start defending the exclusion of someone else’s child.

Bet those same parents would be up in arms if someone didn’t invite their precious child to an all class party eh?

^^ This. The othering of disabled children is appalling.

@ scrambledcustard yes. She is. The mother is not employed by the school, the 1-1 is. The child is legally entitled to an education. The mother is not obliged to home school the child or to be there during the school day because the school are discriminatory arseholes.

She has a 1-1 who is paid to look after her. The child wasn’t allowed out to the park FGS, and the mother wasn’t allowed to attend.

I was surprised when I happened upon the thread during the night that the disablist morons hadn’t arrived on it yet. And then you and others did. Nothing ever changes.

@DumplingsAndStew and stew it’s sad you even have to say that. Disabled children should have the same quality education, and we as adults should expect to facilitate that.
I’m talking from someone with 15 years of doing that without seeing it as a fuss, not just a do go parent. It’s really not that hard, risk assessments, of occasionally borrowing an adult from elsewhere (a few times a year, so what?) or whatever. I’ve personally had all my worse moments with non disabled children and medical needs! Broken arms on pot holing trips, foot trapped in escalators and hypothermia by remote welsh rivers. Frankly a pre-planned possible medical risk with a plan already in place isn’t often the worst that can happen and can be dealt with. I’ve pushed off road wheelchairs through forests, cleaned nappies, administered epi-pens and insulin and generally enjoyed facilitating some lovely kids in having fun.

@scrambledcustard

She can go. The Mum has just been asked to attend too.

And for whatever reason, she has declined. Now the child has been excluded from going.

If your child's school said to you "hey, we've decided that your child can only attend school if you are there with them", would you accept that? "If you don't come to school will your child, they can't attend." You can't attend. Your child can't attend. That is exclusion. And since it is on the basis of the child's medical condition, it is discrimination. Which is illegal.

It's the 21st century and still we have people on MN asking "why don't you just go with your child?"

Are we really not that far advanced yet with disability awareness that people can't see that a) people cannot be 24/7 carers and everywhere their is b) they are entitled to have a break from caring duties and c) that there's an equality act and further policies to make sure children are included. They decreased special schools in order to provide a more inclusive education and yet that actually doesn't exist because schools pull this illegal crap and LA won't find what's required for inclusive education and central government won't fund the LAs so they can meet their legal duty.

Seriously - if you genuinely have no idea what it's like to raise a disabled child or all the unfair disadvantages your family have that they shouldn't have please find out. I'm sure beyond anything those laments caring for a disabled child would love the company and someone willing to support them - it's a very lonely place.

It’s clear people have no idea the level of fighting that is needed by parents of those with additional needs just to get the basics for them. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t in “battle mode” to get something sorted for him.

Often it’s the seemingly easy things like “well it’s ok Mum can go with him” which can be the straw that breaks the camels back.

Another point to be made here is that in our LA several people I know, myself included, who have applied for short breaks funding have been told that a child being at school is a break because they have staff to 1:1 support them there.

This is discrimination under the Equality Act 2010. The school have a duty to provide reasonable adjustments for your child to attend school trips and this shouldn't be a reliance on you attending. They should provide 1to1 support themselves.

Here is some helpful information from Contact (formerly known as Contact a family).

contact.org.uk/help-for-families/information-advice-services/education-learning/disability-discrimination-in-school/#Types-and-examples-of-discrimination

If I was in your position, I would inform the school that I intend to make a formal complaint to the governors and if my child is still refused a place on the trip, I would take legal action to prevent this happening again.

Good luck.

Seriously - if you genuinely have no idea what it's like to raise a disabled child or all the unfair disadvantages your family have that they shouldn't have please find out. I'm sure beyond anything those laments caring for a disabled child would love the company and someone willing to support them - it's a very lonely place. No no no. They’d rather tell you that “I couldn’t do what you do.” In order to justify their ignorance.

@AlternativePerspective

@ scrambledcustard yes. She is. The mother is not employed by the school, the 1-1 is. The child is legally entitled to an education. The mother is not obliged to home school the child or to be there during the school day because the school are discriminatory arseholes.

She has a 1-1 who is paid to look after her. The child wasn’t allowed out to the park FGS, and the mother wasn’t allowed to attend.

I was surprised when I happened upon the thread during the night that the disablist morons hadn’t arrived on it yet. And then you and others did. Nothing ever changes.

If my child had a broken leg and the school said 'your child can't come on the trip unless a parent comes with her' - I'd go.

The Equality act doesn't override Health and Safety legislations, schools still have to do risk assessments and they obviously feel it isn't safe to take her alone. That's why they have looked at other ways to ensure this child can go - they asked her mother to come.

This is reasonable on the schools part and tbh I dont think the OP has got a leg to stand on - in this circumstance. If it was a blanket 'no' then that would be discriminatory.

No no no. They’d rather tell you that “I couldn’t do what you do.” In order to justify their ignorance.

Or “god only gives special children to special parents”

That broken leg will mean things are tough for a few weeks or months at the most. It’s not comparable with someone having a lifetime of being left out and left behind.

You really think not taking a child on a trip to the park is justifiable just because they are disabled? In what world is that ok

@scrambledcustard

Do you have a child with complex additional needs who requires 1:1 care at school?

@Manic20201 you are totally not being unreasonable. Just wanted to add another voice to the crowd and offer support. I’ve got nothing to add that hasn’t been said in terms of advice but wanted you to know that you are right and it’s so unfair on your DD. I hope this can be resolved asap.

If my child had a broken leg and the school said 'your child can't come on the trip unless a parent comes with her' - I'd go.

Oh piss off.

This isnt a comparable scenario.

Do you have a close relative or friend who could accompany her? (Or would they need clearance?)

"She's not being excluded. They have just asked her mum to go."

There is case law from sendist ( special needs education tribunal) that states a parent cannot be asked to provide educational provision. It cannot go on an ehcp that a parent will go on educational trips to provide necessary support for a child. It is unlawful. And in this case discrimatory.

The school is clearly using your daughters 1 to 1 teacher as part of the trip ratio.
And if the funding is provided for the teacher from out with the school, I would be inclined to highlight that they are fraudulently using council funds.
It is shocking this has been allowed to go on for so long.
Please do not stand for this.
I really hope you dd gets to go.