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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this isn't concerning?

107 replies

plasmocy · 09/07/2021 22:54

I've name changed for this as I'm looking for some opinions.

DS is 15, he's sensitive, quiet and well behaved most the time! He's very interested in true crime although he's also interested in other things like football etc.

Ive never thought this was concerning as he also does want to be involved with the police as a job, but he's not decided if he wants to be a police officer or something else yet.

His girlfriends mum messaged me earlier, saying her DD is upset because of DS. He told her to watch something about a serial killer on Netflix (he didn't force her, he told her to watch it ‘if she wanted’). She then started saying how she doesn't want her DD anywhere near DS as it's very worrying him watching things about serial killers (he doesn't just watch these things!) and that he could be dangerous.

Aibu to think that this isn't worrying at all? Or am I not paying enough attention to it? I could do with some outsiders opinions apart from hers.

OP posts:
Pootle40 · 10/07/2021 08:26

To me it shows someone who has a curious mind who is interested in the world around him

warmfluffytowels · 10/07/2021 08:33

She's bonkers Grin

I love true crime stuff. I have tons of books on the subject and DH and I often spend our evenings watching documentaries about various serial killers!

I find it all fascinating - the psychology behind it all and I love learning about the background of people and how that can influence them to do the things they do.

I don't believe it's finding entertainment in other people's suffering - it's normal to want to learn how the human mind works and to learn how police and other detectives put all the pieces together.

knittingaddict · 10/07/2021 08:35

Ignore her. The audience for true crime is majority women and they aren't going out murdering people left, right and centre. It's much more likely that people find it fascinating because they can't imagine what makes someone act like that.

I listen to true crime podcasts all the time and love a good documentary on the subject. Emphasis on good.

I highly doubt your son is a danger to anyone and I would be quite annoyed with the daft person who flagged it as an issue with no other red flags. She appears hopelessly out of touch.

Mooloolabababy · 10/07/2021 08:36

Oh I loved true crime at that age! I remember collecting the murder casebook magazines in the 90s, I thought they were fascinating. I am now just a regular Middle Aged woman and not a serial killer 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
plasmocy · 10/07/2021 09:14

But why do you lack confidence in your own son?

I don't lack confidence in him, I was just looking for other peoples opinions as to if theyd find it concerning, like her mum does.

OP posts:
WingingItSince1973 · 10/07/2021 11:48

Myself, my 15 year old dd and my older dd love watching crime documentaries. Some we don't as personal choice if it's just made to glorify violence but other than that we are more interested in how crime gets solved. We especially like cold cases. My brother was brutally murdered 15 years ago next month so I guess I do have a different reason for interest. I wouldn't worry if he has other interests, friends etc

Looubylou · 10/07/2021 11:58

If it's not an obsession, and you are happy with his behaviour generally, I wouldn't be worried. If they watch things glorifying crime, I wouldn't allow that obviously. I think your son should escape from DGF and her DM while he has the opportunity. Sound like drama queen's.

Looubylou · 10/07/2021 12:00

WingingItSince1973- so sorry for your loss 💐

ToffeePennie · 10/07/2021 12:01

I have a massive interest in true crime. For me is the psychology- why do they do what they do? Where did their ideas come from? It’s fascinating to me.
The mother is being ridiculous. Currently there is a huge upsurge in the trend of true crime, so it’s not just your son.

warmfluffytowels · 10/07/2021 12:04

I don't understand the interest in true crime. Other people's pain should not be used for entertainment.

I think you're misunderstanding why it's so popular.

People want to know the psychology behind the crime - lots of serial killers come from seriously depraved backgrounds, for example. It's interesting (to me, anyway) to learn that the vast majority of these people were totally fucked up in childhood through absolutely no fault of their own.

I also like learning about how the police solve the crimes. Many serial killers leave clues or calling cards and I find it fascinating to watch them piece everything together.

claralara42 · 10/07/2021 12:25

My MIL is obsessed with these things, pretty sure she's never killed anyone yet. Not least because if she did, I imagine she would have started with me Grin

Velvian · 10/07/2021 12:30

I'm a true crime podcast addict, so I think she is BU. Unless there is some context other than "I watched this and it's really good".

haveaday · 10/07/2021 12:38

My DD13 is really into true crime. Watches loads of documentaries and you tubers about it. But I'm really 'into' too. I have a degree in Criminology. Not concerning in the least in my opinion.

Original poster
plasmocy · 10/07/2021 12:45

I spoke to DS (I didn't say what her mum said though) and he showed me the messages, she told him she was bored and told him to tell her what to watch and he said he didn't know, she then mentioned something to do with true crime and asked him to pick something and he told her he'd look later as he was busy, she then asked him if she should watch the ripper which is about the Yorkshire ripper, he replied with if you want and she asked him if true crime ever freaks him out and he replied with not really and she didn't reply to him after that. So he didn't tell her to watch anything. Its also rated 15 on Netflix.

DS did say she was avoiding him at school but he didn't really care and he's just been talking to his friends.

OP posts:
VillanellesOrangeCoat · 10/07/2021 12:59

@ThisIsMeOrIsIt

”For that reason, he's not comfortable with people talking about true crime in front of him. So it could be something like that with the girlfriend's mum.”

But if it was something like that surely you’d explain rather than implying that the boy is a psycho in the making?

(sorry to read of that experience)

itsgettingwierd · 10/07/2021 13:01

True crime on Netflix? 🤣🤣

There's actually a section for it and it's fascinating. I watch things like this with my 16yo ds and I have no concerns about him aspiring to be a serial killer. He's also interested in police and cyber crime.

He's more interested in becoming an Olympic swimmer Grin

Member984815 · 10/07/2021 13:07

She's being ridiculous , I watched a lot of true crime docs and listen to a lot of true crime podcasts. I've always been interested in it even as a young teen. I've never killed anyone .

FastFood · 10/07/2021 13:16

Hahaha
I love true crime, serial killers, horror movies, disasters, and I'm absolutely fascinated by wars and dictators of the 20th century and diseases. My amazon wish list contains books about the spanish flu pandemic, Pol Pot, Stalin, and a fatal prion disease.

Yet I still feel bad because one day 10 years ago I saw an injured pigeon and couldn't do anything to help it and say hi everyday to Giacomo, the spider who lives on the ceiling of the landing.

I know a lot of people who are into that and they're all ridiculously normal and nice people, as I believe I am. It's just an outlet, a kind of escapism to feel safe.

Bridezillamaybe · 10/07/2021 13:17

I would be concerned yes. I'd be concerned about him being involved with that girl. She trapped him into suggesting she watch it so she could go running off to her mum saying he was weird and upsetting.

She's fifteen and even if he did put something on she didn't like that does now merit her mother getting involved as she has. Those documentaries are rated 15, they are mainstream. Lots of adults don't like horror as a film genre but I don't expect them to label me a psycho because I do.

I would be worried about this girlfriend creating other nonsense dramas down the line. She sounds starved of attention and possibly disturbed.

santabetterwashhishands · 10/07/2021 13:19

I have always been interested in serial killers, true crimes ect and I'm 47 and never killed anybody 😂
I think his gf mother is a bit batshit crazy to be honest

FenceSplinters · 10/07/2021 13:19

I wouldn’t be worried about it at all. It sounds like a massive over-reaction by the girl and her mother.

chocolateorangeinhaler · 10/07/2021 13:19

The other mum is mad. I love watching police interrogations and their methods on YouTube.

That's taught me more on getting to the truth of the story with employees in performance reviews than any management training course ever has.

Hankunamatata · 10/07/2021 13:21

Ah playing devils advocate. I can see why the mum was a bit concerned about your son suggesting that gf watches something about the Yorkshire ripper who killed women. It could be misinterpreted if they don't realise his passion about true crime.

Santanomore · 10/07/2021 13:22

There are people on here who think Jurrasic Park is terrifying so I think some people are just of a delicate disposition.

A few things on Netflix are a bit dark. The one about the cat killer (Don't Fuck with cats I think it was called) was a bit grim in terms of the level of detail it went into.

But honestly, if he's going into law enforcement he will see much, much worse. Unfortunately.

Frannibananni · 10/07/2021 13:30

If it’s the movie believe me I have been recommending it to everyone. And I’m not a serial killer 😬

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