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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS doesn't have anyone to go on holiday with

82 replies

stormysun · 09/07/2021 20:54

DS 21 has never been on holiday apart from with me and DH, he's said how he's been thinking about next year and that he doesn't have anyone that he could go on holiday with. He's never been in a relationship and has friends but not close enough to go on holiday with.

Is there anyone else's DC's in the same boat as my DS? I've told him that there will be other people in his position and it's not unusual.

OP posts:
JeansShirtJeansJacket · 09/07/2021 22:48

I found it really hard to make friends at that age. School is easy enough because you are mixing with so many people your own age every day for a long time, and uni was similar. But once I graduated I moved to a new city for work. I didn't know a soul and I felt very lonely. My only friends were in another city far away. I got on ok with a few people at work but they weren't really my friends. It took me years to make decent friends again.

Much easier to make friends now that I have young kids, but I imagine your DS isn't going to have kids just for this reason lol.

It's an awkward age for friendships and totally normal.

BrandNewHeretic · 09/07/2021 22:49

I went on a bus tour across Europe with a company called topdeck at his age, and all but 2 people were single travellers. Made some fantastic new friends who I'm still in contact with and we've had a few meet ups across various locations over the world.

somanyncs · 09/07/2021 22:50

What about WWOOF, btw? You then work on an organic farm (a friend of mine went a few weeks to a beautiful one in Italy), where you work part of the day in return for food and lodging. You have them abroad, but also in the UK. I have never done it myself, but it always sounded lovely.

goose1964 · 09/07/2021 22:55

My sister went on volunteering holidays when she had no one to go on holiday with , if you get the right on not only are they cheap but you make friends on them

Siepie · 09/07/2021 23:05

Does he have friends who share a particular hobby or interest? My brother went to France at about that age with some other men from his kayaking club. They weren't particularly close and ranged in age from 18 to maybe mid-30s, but they were all happy to have some company while kayaking somewhere different.

I think if you're going to do something like that you do need to check in advance that you all have the same expectations about e.g. if you'll all eat together and if you're going to spend every single day together.

Thisismyname77463 · 09/07/2021 23:10

I didn’t either, met a Girl online and went away with her a few times! I worked while I was at uni and none of the other students in my flat or course ever had any money to go (to the places I wanted to go, I refuse to backpack or stay in hostels!)
It was actually fine we met up locally before and booked it together. He could try looking online or posting an advert on the likes of gumtree.

OverByYer · 09/07/2021 23:13

My son went travelling on an organised package through student travel company. He went alone but the trip itself is a group tour so he met loads of other young people. You don’t have to be a student to go but prob aimed at youngsters as the accommodation is all hostels. He went to Thailand/ Vietnam

OverByYer · 09/07/2021 23:19

Ah Student Travel Agency has ceased trading but this is similar
www.realgap.co.uk/cambodia-vietnam-discovery

Shedbuilder · 09/07/2021 23:20

I know that Contiki etc have a reputation for being booze tours, but my NZ cousin's daughters have both been on Contiki tours and they don't drink. And yes, they grumbled about the behaviour of some of their fellow travellers, but they both found others like them on the trip.

Raaaaaaarr · 09/07/2021 23:24

He should sign up for something like a bus tour around Ireland for example aimed at a young age group. You don't need mates for that. Not sure they run with covid but these are perfect if you don't have a travel companion.

MissCatLady · 09/07/2021 23:24

I was in the same situation years ago, really wanted to go travelling. I signed up for an organised tour group travelling across Thailand for a few weeks, met lots of cool people to continue travelling across S.E. Asia with. We all had various different flights to different ongoing countries but then met up with a few again in Australia later on and introduced them to other people I had met. Prior to that before starting uni I did Camp America and Work America. It was a cheap way to get across to America and meet new people to have adventures with after the work season was over.

BackforGood · 09/07/2021 23:36

@stormysun Are you coming back to answer any of the questions ?

Does he have any interests to use as the 'hook' to bring together people with the same interest that he doesn't already know?

Or
Does he belong to any group (a sports team or friends from school or college or a hobby) that he could moot the idea of going away for a week, in ?

Or has he never had friends ?

Is he confident enough to go off on his own? It takes some balls to set off traveling the world on your own.

Does he have the time to do something such as Camp America - or even working for someone like PGL within the UK, or someone like Acorn Adventures across Europe ? (ie, is he a time rich, cash poor student, or a cash richer, time poorer person who is at work?)

JustATypo · 09/07/2021 23:45

@Shedbuilder

I know that Contiki etc have a reputation for being booze tours, but my NZ cousin's daughters have both been on Contiki tours and they don't drink. And yes, they grumbled about the behaviour of some of their fellow travellers, but they both found others like them on the trip.
Absolutely, my DD18 was the same, she traveled alone, had the odd glass of wine now and then and others got plastered, but there were others like her and anyway other travelers are usually friendly regardless as you’re all having fun.
gotalottolose · 09/07/2021 23:45

A friend of mine went on a tour with Shoestring and apparently it was a lot of fun. They seem to do a lot of different tours and there are various age groups.

hellogem · 09/07/2021 23:47

@Caterinasballerinas yes you do need to get along to go on holiday with someone. You'll be surprised with the type of personality you come across on holiday. 2 of my cousins went on holiday together, they aren't close but get along fine, well... their holiday was a disaster, they got super annoyed, grumpy with each other, a lot of arguments, silent treatment, they both came back stopped speaking to each other for a while, they 100% wouldn't ever go on holiday together. It was funny hearing their side of story

Yuppie20 · 10/07/2021 00:06

Tell.hi. to go back packing. I went at 22 and was the best thing I ever did. You can really discover who you are and see and meet the most wonderful places/people. I brought a one way ticket to miami and ended up travelling around Central America for a few months. Then went home once I was partied out!

Glumdalclitch · 10/07/2021 00:18

I had loads of friends when was 21 but still went travelling on my own by choice, and had a blast.

newnortherner111 · 10/07/2021 08:45

Someone holidaying alone is not a big deal at all, even more so if it is a man (sadly). Some of the suggestions others have made seem worth looking into further.

Original poster
stormysun · 10/07/2021 14:04

Thankyou everyone for your kind replies

DS is not a big drinker or partier so that wouldn't appeal to him, I'll mention the things you've suggested and see what he thinks.

OP posts:
notanothertakeaway · 11/07/2021 21:23

Here's another option. Oh to be young again www.workaway.info/

Universe1969 · 11/07/2021 21:25

There is a company called intrepid traveler where you go with other people. A real mix and great for meeting people. Lots of destinations too

EmeraldShamrock · 11/07/2021 21:26

Solo travelling is popular. I wonder if there is a meeting site for this sort of thing.
I know people went solo on the organised 18 to 30 holidays when I was that age.

BitterTits · 11/07/2021 21:27

I was the same at his age (still am as far as friends go). I never had the money or courage to do it alone but I wish I had.

Frazzledmum123 · 11/07/2021 22:21

I was going to recommend 'Spice' too, a friend of mine met her husband through that but before that did loads of amazing things through them.

RainbowChameleon · 11/07/2021 22:28

He should definitely go backpacking alone. Meet so many people.