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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS doesn't have anyone to go on holiday with

82 replies

stormysun · 09/07/2021 20:54

DS 21 has never been on holiday apart from with me and DH, he's said how he's been thinking about next year and that he doesn't have anyone that he could go on holiday with. He's never been in a relationship and has friends but not close enough to go on holiday with.

Is there anyone else's DC's in the same boat as my DS? I've told him that there will be other people in his position and it's not unusual.

OP posts:
Happyhappyday · 09/07/2021 21:50

My brother definitely never had friends to go on holiday with either. But he is pretty quiet and private so never had tons of friends.

fairislecable · 09/07/2021 21:52

My DD went on an overland trip to the Okavango Delta quite a few people were single and she had a great time it was very much a group holiday and she felt very comfortable.

This gave her the confidence to book a holiday in the Greek islands swimming from island to island. This was also good in that the group swam for most of the day and all ate ( and drank together) at night.

Find something that interests him and seek out opportunities to holiday with like minded people.

AliceMcK · 09/07/2021 21:57

He can go by himself. I traveled alone, joined groups through companies like intrepid, so did my DH, that’s how we met. My DSD did the same just before covid, traveled through Europe on her own she travelled with a group of other early 20 somethings from different countries.

If he’s just wanting to go on holiday for a week or 2 I’m sure there are other companies that organise these holidays like the old 18-30 holidays.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 09/07/2021 22:00

There are lots of videos on YouTube by solo backpackers, might inspire him and give him some destination ideas. For a first timer he could try somewhere in the UK staying in Youth Hostels, catching trains between destinations.

My FIL is widowed and does a lot of OneTraveller holidays and specific solo traveller ones, meets up with people from all over. He has done UK ones, European, river cruises, city breaks etc.

bigbluebus · 09/07/2021 22:00

My DS went on holiday on his own at that age. He's not a beach holiday sort of person - prefers culture. He did a trip to Stockholm and a trip to Vienna. He met other young solo travellers from other countries whilst he was there and drank with them in bars. The advantage of going on your own is that you get to do what you want and don't have to please anyone else.

notanothertakeaway · 09/07/2021 22:04

If he wants to go alone, but in a group, he could look at companies like Explore or Exodus. They go to some really interesting places

SirenSays · 09/07/2021 22:04

I think it's actually quite hard making friends as an young adult, I wouldn't have anywhere near as many amazing friends if I hadn't fallen in love with backpacking. There's nowhere easier to make friends than a hostel, bonding over cheap noodles and travel plans.

bbbbbbbbbccccc · 09/07/2021 22:08

Camp America or Camp Canada he could try something like that?

MilduraS · 09/07/2021 22:10

Get him to look at tours. I love GAdventures and have done loads with them in South America and Africa. Intro Travel were better for Asian countries (their Bali and Vietnam tours were brilliant).

katie2812 · 09/07/2021 22:12

My brother is like this. It does bother him sometimes but he has friends but wouldn't go away with them. He's gonna be 21 this year

girl71 · 09/07/2021 22:16

My DS is same. He comes away with me and his younger brother. We have a great time. Before lockdown we all went to Rome and then Dublin and going back to Isle of wight in 2 weeks . We are planning New York in 2022, the 3 of us. He does not want to travel alone so we continue to have family holidays. He is 21,working and his own place.

Imissmoominmama · 09/07/2021 22:18

What are his interests? My walking group is run by someone only a year older than your DS. He is organising group holidays all the time; to some amazing places!

saraclara · 09/07/2021 22:18

I backpack on my own in normal times. I've always made friends and had I chosen to, could have joined several people I met in hostels on their onward travels. My friend does similar and he's started off alone and ended up travelling with nehostel friends for days, and even weeks on long trips.

On the other hand, I've also come across several people who set off backpacking with a friend, fell out quickly, and ended up going their separate ways.

Wiredforsound · 09/07/2021 22:20

My DP’s son, aged 19, won an Interail ticket a few years ago. He decided where he wanted to go, booked hostels, and had the best 3 weeks of his life. Didn’t for one minute thinking of asking someone to go with him. He’s not a party kid, would never have wanted to go on a Club 18-30 with 20 of his closest mates, and he did exactly what he wanted.

cariadlet · 09/07/2021 22:21

Dd is 18 and saving up to go travelling before uni - if everything opens up. Her friends are all too nervous or to broke to go backpacking so she'll be going on her own. Hostels are a great place to meet people.

Shedbuilder · 09/07/2021 22:22

I've had several young Kiwis over. They do the UK staying with relatives, then take a six-week coat tour of Europe with a bus full of other young people, staying in hostels. This is the company they usually travel with:

www.contiki.com/uk/en

Most of them are travelling solo and they have the time of their lives. If he plays it right and makes friends he can have a cheap holiday in NZ or Oz the following year. Not dirt cheap, but after your son has done one escorted tour he'll have the experience to go it alone another time.

OffCycling · 09/07/2021 22:29

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VestaTilley · 09/07/2021 22:32

Oh bless him, this isn’t uncommon at all.

Best thing he can do, if he can afford it, is to book on to an organised tour of somewhere interesting/exotic that’s aimed at 18-30 year olds. “Intrepid” would tick this box I think. Otherwise something like Raleigh if they’re looking for volunteers. Otherwise inter-railing around Europe is a great way to meet others on the youth hostel circuit.

Kontiki only if he likes a drink.

VestaTilley · 09/07/2021 22:35

I also went to Kenya with a group called Global Volunteer Network; I don’t know if they’re still going, but I went alone but was then housed with other young people in a Kenyan woman’s flat and volunteered with other westerners. A superb experience with time to travel on weekends; though nowadays I wouldn’t endorse “voluntourism” - or teaching English as a foreign language could be good.

catsoup · 09/07/2021 22:35

When I was 21 none of my friends were interested in going abroad and a fair few of them already had kids so there was no chance they were coming anyway.

I did some research and went to South Africa for 2 months. It was organised with a company specialising in volunteer holidays and I met 2 others there. Best time of my life! Going on holiday is fine but going on an adventure is better.

MsTSwift · 09/07/2021 22:38

I had a random month between jobs at an odd time of year so no friends available when I was single mid twenties - I went to South America on an organised trip and had a brilliant time. I got on best with the tour leader we gave the rest of the group the slip and went clubbing in Cuzco with all the other guides so fun.

silverbubbles · 09/07/2021 22:39

I think back packing is the answer.

hm246 · 09/07/2021 22:42

contiki holidays. My sister has been on about 5 contiki trips. You can not go on one of you are over 35.brilliant for solo travellers

somanyncs · 09/07/2021 22:43

I second the idea of backpacking, but don't know what the deal is with hostels, etc. in Covid time.

Normally, hostels like 'The Generator' franchise in London, Berlin, Dublin, etc., draw lots of people his age, and have an in-house bar to meet others. They also tend to organise stuff so you meet some others, who you can then start exploring the location with the next day.

(Also very suitable for young women, as they have some girl only rooms, which I always quite appreciated as you meet other single female travellers there.)

JustATypo · 09/07/2021 22:46

It’s no big deal. Two years ago, my 18 year old daughter travelled from Australia to Europe and went on a contiki tour by herself, then spent a week in London by herself. She is a pretty quiet person but she loved it.