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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my Dad is cheating with sex workers?

75 replies

JellyBelly79 · 07/07/2021 16:06

So yesterday I had the pleasure of seeing my Dad’s dick pic on his phone. I can only assume the dick in question was his, though of course it’s not completely beyond the realms of possibility that it wasn’t. Anyway. He’s not very tech savvy and he mustn’t have realised that there is a thumbnail of the last picture you take in the corner of the camera screen. So maybe he likes to admire pictures of his own dick? Or maybe he’s sexting somebody? The thing is, my Dad is still married to my Mam. So maybe the sext was to her right? What about if we add into the mix a message thread that I saw a couple of years ago when helping my Dad with his phone one time. In the thread, a number that had not been saved to his contacts suggests “£150 for two hours plus taxi fare.” My Dad counters with “£100”and is met with “Sorry darling but no” At the time I didn’t want to jump to conclusions but coupled with this dick pic I’m wondering if I was actually in total denial. AIBU to think that my Dad is in fact being unfaithful to my Mam using sex workers? For context, not long before seeing the message thread I had also seen some windows open on my Dad’s iPad of porn sites he may have been on, which I’m thinking might be where he got the phone number from. As I said, he’s not very tech savvy so I often end up on his iPad/phone doing stuff for him. For further context, my parents have not shared a bed for years and I’ve good reason to believe have not been intimate with each other for just as long, if not longer. Do I tell my mam? I’m inclined to say Fuck No. This is not a bomb that I’m particularly keen to detonate. Do I give my Dad the benefit of the doubt and explain to him how he can keep his browsing history/messages/photos more private? Help.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 07/07/2021 16:08

I would stay the hell out of it.

KingdomScrolls · 07/07/2021 16:08

Personally I'd tell my mum what I'd seen and nothing more, no assumptions just the facts

sociallydistained · 07/07/2021 16:09

This sounds like me finding similar things on my grandads computer and phone when I was a teen 😩 I put it out of my mind but it soon became undeniable…. Then 10 years later as an adult it all blew up. Hed been cheating on my Nan for years, was gay had been hooking up for years. I’m absolutely devastated about what it’s done to my Nan :(

It sounds like your Dad is using prostitutes/escorts too.

bestguesstimate · 07/07/2021 16:11

I’m sorry to say it sounds like it :( Mine did the same to my mum. I’d keep a record of the evidence (insofar as you can - I know it’s gross) and confront him saying you know exactly what he’s up to, and threaten to tell your mum his sordid secret. Let the fucker squirm.

bestguesstimate · 07/07/2021 16:14

I would make it clear to him that you know exactly how he regards females and you’re now not under any illusions as to how he thinks half of the worlds population can be treated i.e. bought and sold like pieces of meat. And how would he feel if you were selling your erm services?

NVision · 07/07/2021 16:20

For all you know she might allow him to do this if the marriage is sexless

Guavaf1sh · 07/07/2021 16:22

Stay out of it

TokyoSushi · 07/07/2021 16:26

It's possible that your Mum might know. I would have absolutely nothing to do with any of it.

MouldyPotato · 07/07/2021 16:29

I'd tell your dad he needs to be more discreet if he is going to let people use his technology as you've now seen his penis.

Jinkiesfred · 07/07/2021 16:39

And what if she doesn't know? What if he's having sex with his wife alongside these sex workers and compromising her sexual health ? @NVision and @TokyoSushi

sammylady37 · 07/07/2021 16:44

YABU to think your dad’s sex life is your business, tbh.

TeardropsFallingOnHotSand · 07/07/2021 16:55

I hope he doesn't go and buy a Galaxy or something with a larger screen.

LemonFantaGin · 07/07/2021 16:56

Its a tough one, theres every chance your mam already knows.

Annalouisa · 07/07/2021 17:04

might be naive, but why would he send a picture of his genitals to a prostitute? I mean, is that a chargeable service? What does the sex worker do with the picture? Do they charge for looking at dick pics? Do they charge per centimetre and so need to see them at the time of booking? Confused

Sn0tnose · 07/07/2021 17:08

I was just about to ask what Annalouisa did. Your average sex worker can’t be that interested in dick pics, so I’d hazard a guess that he’s messing about in more ways than one.

Dashel · 07/07/2021 17:10

Stay the hell out of this. Too many unknowns and do you really want to tell your dad you saw his dick in picture form or for him to tell you he was sending it to your mum 🤮

Unless I was 150% sure my mum would want to know and they had a crappy marriage anyway then I would honestly deny I had ever seen them. If your parents hadn’t been intimate in decades and are pottering on happily in a celibate marriage, then it might be that your mum wouldn’t want to know anyway.

cookiecreampie · 07/07/2021 17:11

I think it's likely he is going with sex workers but it's not your place to pull him up on it. Don't make this your business.

MegaClutterSlut · 07/07/2021 17:14

I would confront dad first, if he has anything to tell your mum it should come from him.
I would be heart broken if I found out my dc kept this from me

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 07/07/2021 17:14

It makes no sense. Why would he send a dick photo to a sex worker? They are not after that, they are after his money.

motogogo · 07/07/2021 17:15

Stay out of it. Relationships are complex, your mum may be completely aware but puts to the back of her mind. If they choose to live separate lives they are far from alone.

Nicolastuffedone · 07/07/2021 17:22

Who says he was sending it to sex workers? He could be seeing other women as well as seeing prostitutes….

SinkGirl · 07/07/2021 17:23

Clearly he’s been paying for sex workers. And clearly he’s been sending dick pics to someone who isn’t a sex worker. I would tell my mum if it were me, but she’s no longer with us, and she was always with complete fuckwits.

Strawberryshitfest · 07/07/2021 17:23

I’d stay out of it. He may have just messaged the number out of curiousity/with no intention of actually going through with it and the dick pics could just be for him for example.

Bluntness100 · 07/07/2021 17:25

I’d stay well out of this one.

2bazookas · 07/07/2021 17:36

MYOB.

For all you know your parents have come to some mutually consented agreement.