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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Warning for looking after my child

200 replies

WaxMeltAddict · 07/07/2021 09:08

I've tried looking online to see my rights. Basically I started a new job in May and my youngest DD's childminder has been brilliant with working around my hours to look after DD so I can work.
I'm a single mum and Wednesdays are a hit difficult and I can't start until 12 (usually start at 10.30am)
My manager is lovely and understanding but I have been threatened by the big manager about a warning due to this.
Can they give a warning because I have find childcare for 2 hours sometimes?
I'm a hard worker, I'm always on time otherwise. I just want to know where I stand

OP posts:
Geamhradh · 07/07/2021 12:54

@Pinkandpink

It’s all great on the world of mumsnet, were there is countless posts about not wanting to go back to the office because wfh suits parents ie childcare, school drop offs and it suits them as it’s flexible. The op hasn’t got this luxury, like many thousands of people. She’s struggling with childcare. She’s doing her best. She dosent come across entitled to me.
That is unfortunately very true.
RowanAlong · 07/07/2021 12:55

Wow you’re not getting much sympathy on here. Everyone will just tell you that it’s tough and that’s how life is. Wish there could be more flexibility

Snuggleworm · 07/07/2021 12:56

My oh my we have some nasty people on here don't we. Obviously never in OPs position.

CastawayQueen · 07/07/2021 12:56

People are being harsh on this thread because of your dramatic title but I don’t understand - if you couldn’t do those hours why did you accept the shift? Or did childcare fall through after you’d accepted?

I do feel for you though it’s hard

Pebbledashery · 07/07/2021 12:57

OP, you don't deserve the bashing you're getting at all - you haven't been afforded the luxury of WFH, I am a single parent and I am also a key worker who is based in a hospital 5 days a week. I have no choice but to have rigid childcare because unfortunately this is not my workplace's issue. Although my work can be very flexible, it's my choice to have a child and to put her in childcare.
You do need to try and have sort of rigid childcare in place for that time, it isn't your works issue. I appreciate it is difficult but your contracted hours rely on you starting at 10.30am

hannayeah · 07/07/2021 12:59

@KateTheEighth

It's not a warning for looking after your child

It's a warning for being late for work Hmm

Reasons matter. She didn’t oversleep after a night out.
Aprilx · 07/07/2021 12:59

Exactly. The benefit of a zero hours contract is meant to be that you choose your hours that you are available to work.

No it doesn’t quite mean that. It means that you can accept or refuse work, maybe agree hours on an ad hoc basis with management. But it doesn’t mean that you can accept the 10:30-3pm lunch time shift but then turn up 90 minutes late because the 10:30-12pm bit doesn’t suit.

Armychefbethebest · 07/07/2021 13:02

I would normally be however I have to self isolate as my daughter has tested positive for covid nice try though lol x

Armychefbethebest · 07/07/2021 13:05

@warmduscher I would normally be too busy yes correct but as my daughter has just tested positive for covid I have to isolate with her but thanks for your feedback :)

Earwigworries · 07/07/2021 13:12

If you work in a school kitchen then there are only a couple of Wednesdays left till term end - do your utmost to sort childcare for those 2 weeks and then in September you say childcare will not be an issue ?

Warmduscher · 07/07/2021 13:14

[quote Armychefbethebest]@warmduscher I would normally be too busy yes correct but as my daughter has just tested positive for covid I have to isolate with her but thanks for your feedback :)[/quote]
You are very welcome Smile

ZenNudist · 07/07/2021 13:15

I think if they want the flexibility of zero hours contract then they take the flexibility that you can't work sometimes. I disagree with zero hours contracts. The sensible thing to do would be to contract you 10 to 3 and warn you if you miss hours.

I don't know how your zero hours contract works. If its we want you when we want you and you can't refuse then prepare to be warned.

AnyOldPrion · 07/07/2021 13:27

@ZenNudist

I think if they want the flexibility of zero hours contract then they take the flexibility that you can't work sometimes. I disagree with zero hours contracts. The sensible thing to do would be to contract you 10 to 3 and warn you if you miss hours.

I don't know how your zero hours contract works. If its we want you when we want you and you can't refuse then prepare to be warned.

This.

Conditions in the UK are awful. If they want you to work certain hours on a regular basis, then they should be employing you.

This thread is unpleasant to read. The UK is now an appalling place for employees compared to twenty or thirty years ago. Don’t know if most of the posters on Mumsnet are employers, unemployed or simply so subjugated by the system that they’ve forgotten that it is human beings with various commitments that work and not servants or slaves who can drop everything, but I’d expect a much more helpful response on what is supposed to be a parenting website for women. Where is the support and empathy?

Contact someone who is an expert on employment law, OP. What you describe sounds deeply unreasonable to me, but it may now be legally the case that you can be penalized now that all the evil “red tape” protecting employees has been removed and employers are returning to Victorian era work values. Yes, I know that’s an exaggeration, but really what’s happening is not progress.

Pinkandpink · 07/07/2021 13:36

AnyOldPrion
Agree with your post

BosseFave · 07/07/2021 14:11

Sorry OP some posters here are just plain rude and unhelpful. Flowers It is indeed very difficult, and perhaps you might speak to your boss's boss asking for some flexibility on Wednesdays until you find a solution? If it is only the second time, they are being a bit unreasonable really, even if it is their right to do so...It is possible that you were sick, or something else happened. The posters here must all be extremely perfect and super organised people who can never do anything wrong. Hmm

BosseFave · 07/07/2021 14:13

@AnyOldPrion i second your post. The posters here seem to be endorsing the Victorian era, very worrying for our society - loving the boot of uber-capitalism on their neck i guess...

betterwithage · 07/07/2021 14:30

Please give this lady a break. If she has been straight with her employer and this is a very short term problem for a good/ hard working employee them will think all can survive. Good wishes to you 🙏🙏🙏

randomlyLostInWales · 07/07/2021 14:33

I thought the whole zero hours contract meant no obligation on either side.

IME it tends to mean employee have less power and if you turn down a shift they may not then give you any work for a while.

One of my siblings is managing to not do currently unwanted overtime - they have some dentist and moving stuff going on - at the minute because they know their employer is massivley short staffed so aren't in a position to pull this stunt - which they have in the past with them.

Greenmarmalade · 07/07/2021 14:59

Absolutely not your fault, having read all of your posts, and as it’s only til September they should be flexible. They’ll need to be flexible anyway if you need time off to look after an ill child, etc, and on a zero hours contract it’s very unfair that they’re being like this.

Communication is key- email the manager to confirm your arrangement so you have it in writing

Livelovebehappy · 07/07/2021 15:08

I feel for you because it is difficult juggling childcare and work when you’re a single parent. But, I’m assuming you knew when you applied for the job the hours you are expected to work. If there’s any doubt about being able to work those hours, it would mean not taking the job I’m afraid.

Tossblanket · 07/07/2021 15:17

If you're making up the hours elsewhere it shouldn't be a problem.

If you're just expecting gratis time off because of having kids then you're being massively unreasonable.

Pebbledashery · 07/07/2021 15:19

This lady works as a dinner lady on a zero hour contract, give her a bloody break. She's doing the best she can with very limited resources. Yes having a child isn't her work places problem, but she's trying. She's a single parent, earning a wage and trying to do the best for her daughter.

igelkott2021 · 07/07/2021 15:22

@CastawayQueen

People are being harsh on this thread because of your dramatic title but I don’t understand - if you couldn’t do those hours why did you accept the shift? Or did childcare fall through after you’d accepted?

I do feel for you though it’s hard

No they're not, they're being nasty because the OP forgot the key information that it's a zero hours (and therefore completely unpredictable) contract. Not that that excuses the remarks, but clearly if you have a fixed contract you know the hours and you should have childcare arranged.

But the OP does not have that luxury and I'm sorry a school/local authority acts in such a shabby way and then has the cheek to blame the OP. If they want the hours covered, they need to offer their staff proper contracts with fixed hours. It's different if you then get offered extra hours on top to cover sick leave etc but at that point it should be a choice to either take the house (if you have childcare) or not (if you don't).

Emmylou1985 · 07/07/2021 15:29

Of course they can earn you. Being a single parent doesn't give you carte blanche to turn up when it suits you. I'm a single mum and it would never cross my mind that work will just have to wait for me to rock up. You should have discussed the hours you were able to do when taking the job. The only options you have are A) Carry on, get the warning and eventually get fired, B) Try to negotiate the hours, but understand you are not the centre of the employer's universe and that there are plenty of people looking for work who would be there on time, C) find a new job.

Emmylou1985 · 07/07/2021 15:30

Warn**