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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Warning for looking after my child

200 replies

WaxMeltAddict · 07/07/2021 09:08

I've tried looking online to see my rights. Basically I started a new job in May and my youngest DD's childminder has been brilliant with working around my hours to look after DD so I can work.
I'm a single mum and Wednesdays are a hit difficult and I can't start until 12 (usually start at 10.30am)
My manager is lovely and understanding but I have been threatened by the big manager about a warning due to this.
Can they give a warning because I have find childcare for 2 hours sometimes?
I'm a hard worker, I'm always on time otherwise. I just want to know where I stand

OP posts:
TheTallOakTrees · 07/07/2021 10:28

Who covers you when you turn up 1.5 hours late every Wednesday?

Of course a warning is appropriate if you contract states you should start at the given time.

PixieAndProsecco · 07/07/2021 10:30

How much notice do you give your employer? For some reason I get the feeling that you don't tell them until the Wednesday morning.

EerieSilence · 07/07/2021 10:33

You need a new childminder. A one off situation should be acceptable, there are times (and I know it's difficult to understand for some MNers) when you can't magic out childcare out of thin air but if your CM can't do Wednesdays before 11 on a regular basis, you need a new one. You're in a probe period and chances are, your management know that you're struggling with Wednesdays.

mygood · 07/07/2021 10:35

I'm sorry but if you worked for me and turned up 1.5hrs late every Wednesday I would sack you.
You have a few options to sort this out before they do actually sack you

  • negotiate a reduction in your paid hours and work agree you officially start later each Wednesday
  • negotiate that you will make the hours up on another day or stay later on Wednesday to make the hours up
  • leave because you cant work the hours they pay you to work
  • arrange appropriate childcare to enable you to work your paid hours
mygood · 07/07/2021 10:36

I've reread ............ You just started in MAY??????
yes you can receive a warning and or be sacked.

DameFanny · 07/07/2021 10:37

So you accepted the job for hours you could work, and then they brought the hours forward to when you didn't have cover? Is that what you're saying?

FrownedUpon · 07/07/2021 10:43

What ‘rights’ do you think you have? To turn up to work late whenever you haven’t found childcare? Your children are your problem.

You’re very lucky to still have the job. I hate working alongside people like you.

slashlover · 07/07/2021 10:44

Good job you have enough time to be on MN in the middle of all that chaos though grin

Not sure where PP is from but Scotland finished a few weeks ago.

PineappleWilson · 07/07/2021 10:46

To the fair to the OP, it looks like her supervisor / direct manager has been "fine" about this (I suspect she may have been cursing under her breath but if you can't turn up, she's there at 10.30 without many other options) so the OP thought this was being accepted / accommodated, whereas the senior manager was having none of it and has caught OP off guard.

I'd explain to the senior manager that this is a temporary issue, and won't happen again. A verbal warning would only stay on your record for 6 months.

HoJo20 · 07/07/2021 10:46

I think your doing an amazing job at supporting your DD by getting out there and back to work, well done! : )
Could you explain to your employer that childcare times are set from September so could you have some flexibility until then. Ultimately they can say no but if you work hard and are enthusiastic at your job the loss would be theirs.

spinningspaniels · 07/07/2021 10:46

Oh my god, you can't work your specified hours and you are checking your rights???

I wish there was a shaking head emoji on here.

tuesday2am · 07/07/2021 10:50

God some folk on here are harsh.

OP, I would just speak with your employer. Tell them you love the job and don’t ever mean to be difficult with working your allocated hours, but on those two occasions you struggled to get childcare and you’re worried this will affect your future with this employer.

I sympathise; I’m not a single parent but between myself and DP, we struggle to get childcare sometimes too. We’ve always managed to sort it eventually but I’ve always wondered how on earth single parents do it.

I think if everyone showed a bit more kindness in these situations it would really help things. I know employers don’t HAVE to be accommodating, but sometimes I think they can be difficult just for the sake of it when they really don’t need to be.

Personally I’m so grateful for my own employer who has always been so accommodating towards me. I hope your employer will be the same way.

Best of luck! x

KungFuPrincess · 07/07/2021 10:50

Good job you have enough time to be on MN in the middle of all that chaos though

Bellend

user1491404899 · 07/07/2021 10:50

If you can't do the required shift times they don't need to keep you! Especially if your on zero hours

SleepingStandingUp · 07/07/2021 10:51

Look it isn't great but presumably you've only got 2 more Wednesdays left. Make sure you can get childcare, sort it now, and finish the term. Next year she's in school so it's fine. Just be apologetic and tell them you've sorted it for the rest of term.

moynomore · 07/07/2021 10:52

@mygood

I'm sorry but if you worked for me and turned up 1.5hrs late every Wednesday I would sack you. You have a few options to sort this out before they do actually sack you
  • negotiate a reduction in your paid hours and work agree you officially start later each Wednesday
  • negotiate that you will make the hours up on another day or stay later on Wednesday to make the hours up
  • leave because you cant work the hours they pay you to work
  • arrange appropriate childcare to enable you to work your paid hours
She says it has been two Wednesday's in 8 weeks, not every Wednesday!
Terhou · 07/07/2021 10:53

It doesn't affect anyone, no cover needs to be arranged what so ever.

Surely it must? If they normally have, say, four people in at 10.30 to do all the food prep and you're not there, that means the other three people need to do extra to cover for you? They're unlikely to employ an extra person who isn't needed. And what if one of the others goes sick?

tuesday2am · 07/07/2021 10:53

What part of she’s on a 0 hour contract and the employer brought her hours do folk not understand? 🙄

tuesday2am · 07/07/2021 10:54

*hours forward

youngandbroken · 07/07/2021 10:55

I don't know the answer OP sorry, the fact is that they can sack you for this and is the reason that many women can't go back to work. It is a case of you can't win sometimes - mothers are judged for not going to work, but they are also judged harshly for needing allowances for childcare, you are being told to find alternative childcare but if your working in a school kitchen then it's likely your finances probably won't stretch that far and that limits your options and if it' is a 0 hour contract then all the power lies with your employer and you probably can't make up the hours. I know when I worked a 0 hour contract I could be told not to come in at all if it suited them but if I needed a day off at all it was as though I was asking them for a kidney. Frankly I think 0 hour contracts need scrapping completley and there needs to be better childcare support to help parents get back into work. None of that is very helpful in your situation though OP I do hope you can get the next few weeks sorted until September.

Perpop · 07/07/2021 10:58

People are so harsh on this site!

Im sorry you’re stressed, have a chat with your employer, explain that it’s short term and you’re doing everything possible to be flexible as you love the job.

Im sure it’ll be ok Smile

EverdeRose · 07/07/2021 10:58

Of course they can give you a warning. You're not turning up for your start time, even if you let them know, even if you say you work really hard.

What would happen if every Wednesday every member of staff decided not to turn up until 12 because your seen to get away with it.

I know you say you're not causing extra work by turning up late, but of course you are. Unless you usually go in at 10.30 and twiddle your thumbs until 12 someone is picking up the slack.

bibliomania · 07/07/2021 10:59

I agree that the zero hours contract changes things - it's not a case of OP committing to be there every Wed at 10.30 and then not doing it.

OP, I don't think you're in a strong position to go in insisting on your rights. All you can do is be a good worker, explain that the Wed morning issue won't affect you from Sept, and hope they'll keep you on.

ARR14 · 07/07/2021 10:59

You will need to sort childcare ASAP. If those are the hours you are contracted to then you are breaking that. I do understand as a fellow working single parent and it is difficult to juggle it all.

Look at a nursery place for that day (most nurseries will ask for two half day minimums or one whole day)…having a combination of childminder and nursery also gives you backup of childminder is ill as you can usually book extra sessions at a nursery. Universal credit will help with the costs. Not all employers are sympathetic regarding children and you will need to save your absences for when they are sick etc.

Good luck

igelkott2021 · 07/07/2021 11:00

I think if you had set hours every week and had not sorted out your childcare to accommodate them, that would be bad.

But if you are working zero hours, I don't really see how it's your fault. They need to give you set hours. How can working as a school dinner lady be zero hours anyway? The kids eat at a set time every day!

Agree you can't win here - if you don't work you're a fickle single mother sponging off the state on benefits, and if you do work you are fickle and irresponsible about childcare.

And of course nobody has mentioned the father. Unless the OP is a widow, where is he in all this?