Cheating DH and new job

[Doritos80]

So dh has admitted to having sex with someone else which isn’t particularly surprising as he is an arse. I feel very numb, apparently just happened once but lots of sexting and can’t wait to do it again messages

I have told him to leave, my aibu is I’m due to start a new job which was excited about but it relies on him helping with childcare and at moment have part time job where I don’t need any childcare and will be here for kids. New job means I wouldn’t so much. New job more money but not very good holidays current job school holidays off

Would i be unreasonable to stay in my current job (which I do like but is easy and no career prospects) everyone knows I am leaving but would like me to stay. It would be letting down new job but not due have headspace to deal with new job and dh doing this and the impact on my family.

Aibu to turn new job down?

New job: does it have any flexibility with regard to WFH? Can some work be done in the evenings? Might be worth exploring that

I spoke to my manager today and she was wonderful and more than happy for me to stay. Think it is the right decision at the moment for me, my headspace can’t cope with a new job, I know my current. Job so well and have supportive people around. It was always going to be tricky with the new job and ultimately I am not very good at thinking of me, my kids are used to me being around and they will need this more than ever. There are quite a few jobs in my field so not as though in a couple of years time I can revisit. Feel awful letting down the new job but think I will be better off where I am, I wasn’t actively looking for a new job and I am happy where I am

Now to deal with the cheating husband part of it 😬

Is it possible for the time being to play 'happy family', just stay together for the sake of having child care and career progression, no intimacy, I would hate for you to be stuck down due to his failure, once the kids are in high school, or when you've settled in the job and feel you are able to utilise child care, you can then tell him to get the hell out.

Good call @Doritos80. Putting your mental health and your kids first is exactly what you all need right now.

Getting that decision made will be a relief to you, OP.
Now you can work out how to be independent from your unreliable H.

("Happy families" sounds like a terrible option, btw.)

I think I would've done the same.

A cheating partner is unlikely to be reliable.

A good employer is worth their weight in gold.

I do think that's the best decision. Give yourself some breathing space and apply for another job in a few months when you can organise reliable childcare and have sorted out the separation.