I know im nbu... But would you be p***** too!?

[LauEli]

Son is three. Four on Halloween.
We absolutely do not let him have lollipops. Never. They're not even allowed in our house.
Weve made it clear to both sets of grandparents.
So how come mil keeps letting him have one 😡 he's a bit dramatic when it comes to having his finger and toe nails cut, so because he was good for her she praised him with a lolly. She had the audacity to tell my child I wouldn't be angry.... Im glad she couldn't see my face. She said she doesn't take her eyes off him whilst he's eating it. It's not the first time. Husband has asked her before not to do it, but how many times should he need to tel her.... Because if I tell her I won't be polite.
I'm pregnant with second and just fuming about it all. Husband tells me to be calm. But hormones and my anxiety play out the worst scenarios in my head.
How would you deal with it!?

I still cut grapes and hot dogs and mine are ten! A paramedic mate says the biggest choking issue they get called to is bananas when kids are running around trying to eat it but hen cannot dislodge it all due to the consistency and you can't Heimlich it out.

Regardless YANBU and if they can't respect it put in more childcare.

@idontlikealdi my friend is also a paramedic and the horror stories are enough to make me want to cut everything up forever. It's just not worth the risk is it!

I am a mother-in-law with grandchildren older than your little boy. I loathe lollipops and have since I became a parent. For me it is not only the choking hazard but the length of time they take to eat and the sugar is on their teeth. I am amazed they are still sold when they are associated with choking incidents. I would speak to your husband and ensure he tells, not asks, her not to ever give your child a lollipop again and that it is very important to both of you that she promises not to. It is not up to grandparents to ignore parents wishes.

Thank you all, hopefully it'll be made clear again he's not allowed them, and we'll go forward from there 😅

I'm 49 and DP always winces when I crunch through a boiled sweet as soon as it goes in my mouth. I'm paranoid about swallowing it whole!

YANBU. I loathe lollipops for little ones. Not only as a choking hazard, but seeing little ones run round with a lollipop in their mouths. All they have to do is fall flat on their face with that lollipop sticking out. Shudder.

@Keeping2ChevronsApart can never be too careful! I choked on my dinner a few weeks ago when my husband was a work, my son was crying hysterically. I couldn't catch my breath it was very scary. It can happen at any age, and the damage can be life changing or worse.

Stick an alternative treat in your bag and the next time she tries it say "remember he is not allowed lollipops please take this away" hand it back to her. Then give child replacement treat.

Lollipops are dangerous I still hate my 10 year old having them. I do allow her but she knows no running around with them.

My friend’s husband nearly choked on a lolly as an adult. Round part of the lolly just came off the stick whilst he was eating it. That scared me into not allowing my son to have them as I hadn’t considered it before. Drives me mad when the barbers always give them out, even when DS was about 2 or 3.

Considering my daughter very nearly choked to death aged 3 when my MIL gave her one of those huge bonfire lollies- (I wasn’t there when it was given but I was when she returned home and started eating it without me even knowing about it)- YANBU.

The worst moment of my life witnessing this and utterly bewildered as to what was wrong. Get her told.

[quote LauEli]@buzzandwoodyallday we do cut them, I cut his finger nails last week, he reluctantly let me cut his worst toe nail a few days ago, then wouldn't let me do anymore. He behaves for both our mums to have them done but not for us, so I'd guess he asked her to do them or she saw they needed finishing off.[/quote]
Of course he behaves for her, she gives him a lolly. 🙂

Its all just a power thing really, if you don't want your child to have a lolly she should respect that. Do you notice her being cunty in other ways?.I wonder will you have a few issues this woman down the line, and I really hate the way she was telling the child that mammy won't mind oooooh touchy one that.

Running around with them can also cause the stick to go through the roof of the mouth, not a pretty sight.

She should listen to you. I am old enough to be a granny but don’t have any grandchildren yet. I was very safety conscious with my children. I know certain things have changed as I have a paediatric first aid certificate for work. If she can’t do as she is asked I would be saying he can’t stay unsupervised by a parent.
My FIL used to go against our wishes it used to really annoy me. He gave them loads of sweets then wondered why they weren’t sleeping. At home they only had a chocolate bar once a week. He once let them have a whole tube of jelly tots when we went to a wedding. Put your foot down now before baby 2 comes along. Congratulations.

I don't really have any rules if they're looking after them

Trust your instincts. Both of mine nearly choked to death when toddlers. A conker and a boiled sweet. Why take the risk.

Yanbu, I don't like lollipops either with young children.
I think you need to be very clear with her that this is not ok, I wouldn't be happy about this at all.

@Hollywolly1 there are some things that annoy me but not to this extent, everything else just goes over my head. I won't budge on this one though.

@Macncheeseballs that's your preference for parenting. Setting rules for others to follow isn't a bad thing, im just trying to protect my child

@Redsquirrel5 thank you! Your fil sounds like a treat, wonder why people go against other people's wishes it's infuriating isn't it!?

MIL should really be respectful of your wishes op. Its the principle of it, not just the lollipop.

Lollipops are so dangerous, especially if a kid falls with one in their mouth. My mum always bent the stick on ours when we were kids...so the stick hangs down in front of your chin. Genius!

You are only doing what you feel us right for your child but just be careful here because she could still give the child a lolly behind both your backs, don't worry because your 3 yr old will tell you and I'm not trying to annoy you because I totally get it.

I’m absolutely with you and would be livid. Similar horror stories from a doctor friend-and not always very young children either. And as for the ‘I’m watching them eat it’ response. Oh, so you’ll
be able to watch every second of them choke to death then? Ffs

I have a just 3 year old and has a lolly occasionally if she comes shopping with me. Normally a chubba chub one or one of them whistle ones.. She's always with me.

I would be annoyed from the point of view that you’ve specifically asked her not to do something, then she’s disrespected your wishes. I have a similar issue currently, so you’re not on your own, and I don’t believe it’s your hormones.

@crimsonclover exactly. Not a phone call I'd ever want to receive. It takes two seconds for something to go horribly wrong, but it was OK 'as I was watching' 🙄

@VikVW hope your issue is soon resolved. I blame the hormones although personally I don't think they've been that bad 😅 I'm quite level headed usually

Ffs it’s a sweet not cocaine