Not bothering to respond to Rsvp

[Eatyouroatsplease]

Is this really rude?

I sent out an invite (via Whataspp & Fb) a few weeks ago for my DD’s birthday party, with a follow up message this past weekend. Party is in a few days, around half responded, thanking me and saying if they could or couldn’t come, some straightaway, some a few days later, no problem at all, life is hectic with kids.
But around half (perhaps a bit less) just haven’t responded at all (they’ve seen both messages)
Aibu to find this a bit rude?
I’m assuming this means they can’t come? 🤷🏻‍♀️I need to know numbers for party bags etc, I’m doing them today, should I just not include them?
Why would they leave it so long? I don’t know, for me, I’d respond either way to let the person know and to thank them for the invitation.

Because life? Maybe some people have muted the WhatsApp? Maybe some people had to check other plans and then forgot. Yes it is a bit rude but unlikely to be intentional. Send another message reminding people and indicate that if you haven’t had a yes you’ll assume a no. But bear in mind some people might turn up anyway. Unless it’s a pay per person event I would just cater for a few more to be safe.

YANBU- it is very rude

YANBU. It's beyond rude
It's also not nice for the child whose party it is being left guessing if people are going to turn up or not.
It's rude for the host (you)
It's downright nasty for the child.

Yanbu it's rude and there's really no excuse "because life" is just a ridiculous response.
I'd message again saying anyone whose not RSVPd by end of day won't be catered for as I'll take it as no

Yanbu.
Send the rude ones a message confirming their NON attendance so you don't have random people turning up.But based on the cheeky fcukery on here,if do a few extra party bags also.😀🎂🌞

YANBU. Of course it's rude. It takes under a minute to respond. Even saying 'I have to double check our schedule but will respond by X' would be better than nothing. It's not like you need a lengthy reason if they can't come just 'thanks so much for the invite, would have loved to come but unfortunately have other plans' is fine. Some people want to keep their options open to see if they have a better offer, it's very inconsiderate.

Yanbu

I'm currently babysitting for someone on agency who gets their shifts on the day. My DD is having to grab any extra hours she can. Not everyone can commit ahead of time.
Message again. Personally I'd make party bags just sweets and be a bit more relaxed.

Did you include a date to RSVP by? I think that's key.

It's annoying though, I understand that.

YANBU. One year I had a parent not respond then turn up with the child that was invited plus 3 siblings ‘who would sit in the corner’.
They obviously didn’t and whilst it was ok because it was a party in a hall, they all wanted a party bag on the way out and I didn’t have enough, which resulted in one of the siblings crying very loudly at the end of the party and refusing to leave until they got one. I ended up fobbing them off with a piece of cake to take home but it really spoilt the day.

I'm having a simar issue, except we don't have a class WhatsApp, so I dobt know most of their numbers. It is rude, I'm one of the disorganised ones but I always respond.

it's incredibly rude.

If they have good reason not answer straight away, they should send a quick message explaining the difficulty and saying when they will be in a position to know. And then set a phone reminder so they do not omit the actual,answer when they have one.

It's a few seconds effort (probably under a minute to do both things) and it's remarkably self-centred to treat others with so little consideration.

Agree with previous poster - I’d send a list of all confirmed people and add that anyone else needs to let you know by the end of the day or you will assume not coming.

This is par for the course. You soon find out who the people like you are. The others are the same people who don't reply to their work emails and who are generally unreliable in other walks of life. Fully accept that everyone forgets occasionally but in my experience there's a pattern. Send a follow up WhatsApp and then just leave it. Hope DD has a great birthday.

I wouldn't even do that.
I'd cater for a few extra, but if anyone who hadn't responded turned up I'd do my bitchy resting face and say "oh! This IS a surprise, deary me hope there are enough vol au vents to go round now we've got some extra people turn up!"

(I wouldn't really but y'know)

I would send one final message.

‘Hi cheeky fuckers. Just a reminder that it’s DC party next week. Could you please respond by XX. If I don’t hear from you then I’ll assume that you’re not coming and I won’t be able to provide a party bag’ Don’t make any extra party bags as the costs spiral.

It is rude. Is it a party where there is a per head charge, ie soft play? If so, I would message again saying you need to know numbers ASAP. If it is at home/Hall and it is only party bags to consider, I would cater for extra just in case.

I got so stressed with this for DDs party the other week.

Invited 40 - Knowing full well it wouldn't be all yes. 20 said yes, 1 no.

On the day 22 turned up - 2 hadn't RSVPd and they arrived half an hour early and 1 just text the night before on the assumption her daughter's invite had been lost.

It hadn't. The daughter hadn't been invited. But hey ho.

It's just fucking rude. I respond as soon as I'm given the invite. If nothing is planned, that's a yes and that doesn't change.

Yes it's rude but lessons to be learnt

• don't sent out invites "a few weeks" in advance. People think it's ages away and forget about it
• specify an RSVP date

Post another message saying you need to know by the end of Wednesday and will assume that anyone who doesn't reply can't come.
I'd also contact parents individually i.e. talk to them at school or ask to put notes in bags if you don't see them. The danger of relying on social media is that people may not look at it! The blue tick on WhatsApp does not mean that someone has read the message, they may (for example) have just have opened WhatsApp and clicked onto the group (I've done this to change the notifications and it marked 1000 messages as read).

I think it so very rude. If you're not sure, for any reason, you can tell the host you won't be able to confirm until nearer the time. You just don't say nothing.

I can't understand why people aren't respectful of the waste of money for over catering food and party bags.

YANBU. Personally I would send them all a message now confirming that your understanding is they will not be attending. Then do the party bags etc for those who have bothered to respond

I see there are normal responses about life getting in the way, not checking teach/SM regularly. That’s no excuse to be rude

Extremely rude. I would never invite those people again (but I am petty!).

It is rude
I'd do as suggested above and send over last message confining that as CFs haven't responded, you take that as a no, and won't be providing food etc.

100% rude and inexcusable.

Siblings turning up is the height of rudeness, to then allow that child to cry and demand a party bag or they won’t leave would have pissed me off big time! Likewise someone messaging to say she assumes her daughters invite was lost?!

Like others have said I would send a final polite message saying I have xyz down for attending, if anyone else is please let me know by x time for catering purposes.