to ask what age gap your children are?

[coffeebean3000]

and if you think it’s a nice gap or wish you’d had them closer/further apart?

i have a 3 month old and can’t decide whether to start ttc again when she’s a year old so they’re closer together and have a nice bond growing up or whether to wait until we can get a bigger house (we have a 2 bed) and more job stability.

also looking at getting married in summer 2023 and i don’t know whether it would be better to try before or after - first dd took about a year of trying and i’m not sure i want potentially a 3/4 year gap.

Yanbu.

Don't be so sure a small gap is best.
My friend is 1 of 4
Oldest to next is a 1 year 4 month gap, they don't get on now and never really did. Oldest is closest to 3rd sibling who has special needs (I think 4 years younger). There's another one who is 9 years younger than oldest, who she was just at a completely different stage to as kids so weren't close. Now as adults they do get on.
Don't be so sure a small age gap is best for closeness

3 years 3 months. Seems to be good so far 🤞

I’ll add that I don’t have a close relationship with a sibling where we have a five year difference. The issue was we were never in the same stage of childhood so didn’t play together and so there was no bond growing up.

I have a three year age gap between mine, it’s perfect in my opinion. They love each other, play great together, don’t argue and play with toys together. My eldest had the 15 hours free childcare when my youngest was born so that gave me a few hours each day to catch up on sleep whilst baby slept.

2 year gap, 3 year gap then 2.5 year gap. All depends on the child how easy the gap is rather than the actual gap. Mine are all teenagers/twenties now.

I have 3 - 4.5 year gap then a 2 year gap. The small gap is better provided you can cope with the intensity in the early years, because they are at a similar stage as they get older. But I needed the bigger gap between the first two for career reasons and it’s fine, just means they are not always at the same stage.

18 months. I hoped for two years but you never know when it will happen do you?

Both girls. They don't get on at all. 🙁

When dc was 3 we decided to try for another , dc2 was born 9 months and 3 days after !

14 months, unplanned but I’m hoping my boys will be playmates and I’m glad I won’t be spending 6 odd years changing nappies

Pretty close to my sibling of 5 year age gap. Really don't think it makes a difference for that, it's more how you cope as a parent.

I have the full range. 14 months between DS1 and DD1, 16 years between DD1 and DD2, 4 years between DD2 and DS2. I think 4 years was the best age gap.

3 years.
I absolutely would not have coped with two close in age.

@Houserenoqueen

Those with small age gaps (under 2 years), how did you do it? Was it really ok? I’ve just had a VERY surprise positive test and would have a 22 month gap (between twins and new baby....3 under 2...)

You just do - same as you did with twins.

10 1/2 months between my two. They are incredibly close - to the point they tag team the fuck out of me a lot of the time very effectively.

3 years 9 months here and it's been wonderful.
Eldest adores him and was really helpful when he was born. He also had 30 hours free childcare which he loved going to and started school when I was on mat leave so I had loads of time with the new baby. They already play together (age 1 and 5) just chasing around giggling. There was a 3.5 year gap between my brother and me and we have always been very close so I wasn't concerned about the gap.

The only issue is we wanted to try for number 3 with a slightly smaller gap (don't want the gap between 1 and 3 to be too big) but I just don't feel ready.
Personally I find the toddler phase very difficult but also unbelievably rewarding and I don't want to have to divide my time between a newborn and toddler, so it's a bit of a dilemma. I'm leaning towards just sticking at 2 now.