15 year old home alone for 2 nights

[Sunny4876]

Going on an adults only trip in September . The plan was Dds 15 and 9 would stay with their nan,my sister and brother in law mentioned their almost 16 year old Ds would probably be left home alone for first time and was I letting Dd,I really hadn't given it a thought.
I said I'd be happy for them to stay together as they are both very responsible and mature.
I mentioned this to Dd and she instantly said that she'd rather stay home alone.
I'm in a spin about it but I suffer from anxiety so can't be logical.
Nan lives 5 minutes walk away,lovely quiet street.
Wibu to let her stay alone?wwyd?

@warmfluffytowels

I also genuinely don't understand why on here everyone seems to think overnight and The Dark is magically more dangerous than day time

• because there are often less people around at night.
• you're far more vulnerable asleep than you are awake (if there's a fire, for example).
• night-time crimes tend to be more violent than day-time ones, even though crime is generally more likely during the day.

Thanks for answering - can see the second point. I think the first goes both ways - more people around to cause harm as well as help. Not totally sure if point 3 is actually correct - around here the violent crime that has hit the news has all been daytime. There have been 3 stabbings in our area in the last year, all during day light hours. (It's London..)

@crazywhippet

I absolutely would, she's 15 not 5.

My mind always boggles at the amount of posters on here who'd have you believe they don't allow NT teenagers to spend more than 30 mins alone in the house. It's nuts.

Totally agree. Some posters on here treat their teens like toddlers.

I was left alone when i was 10 with 3 children under 5. When i was 14 my parents went on holiday for 2 weeks in the Med. I was fine, even went to school.

Not totally sure if point 3 is actually correct - around here the violent crime that has hit the news has all been daytime. There have been 3 stabbings in our area in the last year, all during day light hours. (It's London..)

It's from the ONS, though it's only just over 50%.

11. When do violent crimes occur?

In the year ending March 2018, the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) estimated that more than half of violent incidents (54%) occurred in the evening or during the night (Nature of crime, violence). This trend has remained at a stable level over the previous four years, showing no significant change. However, there has been a significant decrease since the year ending March 2008, when 65% of incidents occurred in the evening and 35% occurred in the day.

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/thenatureofviolentcrimeinenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2018

That's from 2018 - the latest release (year end 2020) doesn't appear to show the day/night split.

@LowlandLucky

I was left alone when i was 10 with 3 children under 5. When i was 14 my parents went on holiday for 2 weeks in the Med. I was fine, even went to school.

10 years old?! That's neglect - where the hell were your parents?!

You know your dd better than us, my dd is 14 I don't think she would want to stay alone. But I would be happy to leave a sensible 15yr old especially if nan is round the corner, I would also suggest staying at home during the day and going to sleep at nans.

SS or the police would not be interested at all.

I wouldn’t.

The potential things that could go wrong don’t come from the mind such as the car exploading if you leave your toddler in it for 30 seconds, the risks at night are real. Burglaries, sometimes violent crime, and let’s be honest, not all crime is opportunist, there are definitely people who will wander around the area by day to see whether there is anyone there at night. A house with a lone 15 year old would be a prime target.

Also while staying at home might seem to be a great idea, thinking about it and actually doing it can be two different things altogether. The dark can be creepy, even if nothing happens.

As for the “I was left at 15 and I’m alright,” arguments, there are people who would say that they got married at 16 and lived happily ever after. Most of us wouldn’t want our kids to do it though.

@warmfluffytowels

Not totally sure if point 3 is actually correct - around here the violent crime that has hit the news has all been daytime. There have been 3 stabbings in our area in the last year, all during day light hours. (It's London..)

It's from the ONS, though it's only just over 50%.

11. When do violent crimes occur?

In the year ending March 2018, the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) estimated that more than half of violent incidents (54%) occurred in the evening or during the night (Nature of crime, violence). This trend has remained at a stable level over the previous four years, showing no significant change. However, there has been a significant decrease since the year ending March 2008, when 65% of incidents occurred in the evening and 35% occurred in the day.

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/thenatureofviolentcrimeinenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2018

That's from 2018 - the latest release (year end 2020) doesn't appear to show the day/night split.

Really interesting - thanks! I would be curious to see it split out further in that I would have thought evening was worse than overnight but the stats don't split that out.

I don't think that level of difference - just over 50 per cent - would make me make different decisions anyway though

At 15 not an issue to stay home alone. I mean I know a few kids that moved out at 16. Unless you are worried you DD will throw an American comedy style party?

Her being left alone is better than with her cousin, who can't tolerate her for long. They might be fine when they know someone is around but on their own things might escalate. As long as your Mum wouldn't mind her waking her up if she's suddenly scared during the night. I was left alone. At around 1am things seem very different and your imagination can take over. But I live in an area which wouldn't be safe to do this, now. I did leave my 15 year old alone, with a friend, though. My Mum was 5 minutes away with my youngest.

@LowlandLucky, your childhood was abusive and isn't a good benchmark.

If after the first night she’s not comfortable being on her own she can go to her grans. She will be fine, she obviously doesn’t want the cousin staying over, so say no thanks to that offer.

I'm really surprised at how many people wouldn't leave a sensible 15 year old overnight alone. If they're allowed to be out and about on their own (which I'm assuming they are), then surely being in their own locked house is far safer?

She should be fine, if she is scared she can go to nans.

Dh and I had a surprise night in a posh hotel for my birthday and left 15 year old dd on her own. She ordered a takeaway, watched netflix and loved it!
We were in the same city and came back at 10.30 the next morning, but had absolutely no worries, and would have been happy to stay till later, she had an appointment though.

@Lepetitpiggy As long as you had fun. That's the main thing.

Yes I would. Depends on the child, my son absolutely yes. I had to leave him at 15 to take my daughter to hospital for an emergency blood transfusion at 11pm at night, I said don’t have a party before I left. As if! My mum however left my brother and I at 16 & 14 ish and I had a party. She never found out until years later as we did all clean up and hide the evidence!!

"@TheHoundsofLove I'm really surprised at how many people wouldn't leave a sensible 15 year old overnight alone. If they're allowed to be out and about on their own (which I'm assuming they are), then surely being in their own locked house is far safer?"

You would like to think so but i personally would not take any chances. You cannot account for the behaviour of others.

You would like to think so but i personally would not take any chances

What chances though? They are far safer alone in their house than they are almost anywhere else. So if you won't let them be alone in their house, why would you let them be anywhere else, if the matter is risk?

@claralara42 you would like to think so. What chances though? They are far safer alone in their house than they are almost anywhere else. So if you won't let them be alone in their house, why would you let them be anywhere else, if the matter is risk?".

They are 15 yrs old. Not equipped to deal with extreme situations. Matters of risk are determined by parents. As a parent , i assessed all risks to my children , based on my surroundings, local crime reports and probability, including home invasion burglaries where, children aged 15 , were home
alone and physically attacked, in order to steal rare puppies. I chose not leave my 15 yr old children alone and as such they have been protected
from risk.

They are grown up now and i am free to stay away as often as i like. Not a big deal for me to wait until my children were adults before i swaned off on jollies.

Personally,no I would not.
For several reasons; her safety,here and your peace of mind are the main ones.

I would say 15 is definitely old enough to stay alone for 2 days. If she’s too young, when is old enough to be left alone?

I left home & got my own flat when I was 16
went home occasionally to use the washing machine.

I wouldn’t. DS is a sensible 16 yr old but I’ve never left him overnight and don’t intend to any time soon

Stayed by myself for a month when I was 16 and parents went overseas on business. I was fine. But I killed all the plants by forgetting to water them!

We're going away next week for four nights and leaving my 16yo ds alone since he's working over the summer and didn't want to take time off, my mum will be coming to check on him and stay for one night though, I'm feeling ok about this.

However, last year when ds was 15 (prior to lockdown) we went away for four nights and I was very nervous about leaving him. In the end he went to his dad's for a night, spent two nights at friend's houses and was only alone for one night with a responsible friend.

A lot has changed in a year, I think because in the eyes of the law there's a huge difference between 15 and 16, he could now get married, legally have sex, leave school etc.. I feel that this is the point where I have to begin to let go or he and I are going to have a huge shock in 18 months time when he turns 18 and then goes to uni!