Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

15 year old home alone for 2 nights

107 replies

Sunny4876 · 05/07/2021 15:10

Going on an adults only trip in September . The plan was Dds 15 and 9 would stay with their nan,my sister and brother in law mentioned their almost 16 year old Ds would probably be left home alone for first time and was I letting Dd,I really hadn't given it a thought.
I said I'd be happy for them to stay together as they are both very responsible and mature.
I mentioned this to Dd and she instantly said that she'd rather stay home alone.
I'm in a spin about it but I suffer from anxiety so can't be logical.
Nan lives 5 minutes walk away,lovely quiet street.
Wibu to let her stay alone?wwyd?

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/07/2021 16:55

I'm sure she would be fine but it's a bit shit, isn't it? Home alone, sleeping alone, eating alone etc, getting off to school alone etc

With a mate, at 15 , that is heaven Grin

claralara42 · 05/07/2021 16:58

I'm sure she would be fine but it's a bit shit, isn't it? Home alone, sleeping alone, eating alone etc, getting off to school alone etc

Don't you like time alone sometimes? Why do you think teenagers don't?

GeorgiePorge · 05/07/2021 17:02

I was left alone for weekends when I was 15.
Sometimes one of my brothers was there (17) sometimes he wasn't...

I loved the freedom and valued being trusted. I was pretty sensible at that age and youngest of 4 so that helped.

In no way were my parents neglectful, they recognised I was capable of looking after the house and myself, and knew what to do if there was an issue (neighbours etc)

I also went on holiday abroad to Spain with a mate (same age) a 16 for two weeks, inter-railed around Europe with a friend at 18 for two months and moved abroad to an African country for a year at 19. A lot of people over the years have been horrified by this, probably including my mum if I am honest, but she raised us to be independent.

Some teenagers are old for their age some aren't. Legally they are adults at 18, and they do need to prepare for that.

A weekend at home at with nan down the road seems a good place to start....

GreenClock · 05/07/2021 17:05

I think it’s ok. You’ve nice neighbours, and family are nearby.

My exDH (the youngest of six children) was left at home for a week at 15 when his parents went on hols (his older siblings had stopped going on family holidays and exDH didn’t want to go with just his parents) and the only issue was the pile of washing up he failed to do. Two of his siblings lived nearby though and one came home from uni on day 5 of the week.

Rapskallion · 05/07/2021 17:09

I wouldn’t. 15 is too young.

DillyDot · 05/07/2021 17:09

I would leave sensible 15yo at home alone for two nights if they were happy with it. I wouldn't leave them responsible for a younger sibling though.

girl71 · 05/07/2021 17:13

Personally i would not leave or have ever left alone overnight. It is not about the maturity of the child , it is the outside factors such as fire or intruder, that sort of thing. I one time left my very mature 15 yr DS at home for a full day while i was at work. I asked them to steam the kitchen floor for me while i was out. The steamer caught fire while they were using it and , only because we have a door to the outside in our kitchen that was open at the time, they were able to unplug and throw the whole thing outside quickly
averting disaster and injury.

We also live in a village and there have been multiple attempted burglaries over the yrs, at night and also intruders continue to be caught mooching in peoples gardens , including mine, and filmed , in the early hrs that , i would not want either of my children to have deal with alone. We are detached and while very near to neighbours, not close enough for them to hear disturbance. My neighbours hse was ransacked and burgled last summer, while they were away and, i did not hear a thing as just far enough away not to hear what was happening.

I am a single parent, with no family or friend support. Ex DH is my only childcare option, he is a great Dad and had the kids every weekend, but if he could not have had the kids, i would not be going anywhere. It was frustrating at times but i accepted that is how it was. Nan may be only a few doors away but if she is asleep and its the middle of the night, it makes no difference. 15 yr old child would be staying at nans- end of.

MattyGroves · 05/07/2021 17:16

@nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome

Nope, not for me.

I'm sure she would be fine but it's a bit shit, isn't it? Home alone, sleeping alone, eating alone etc, getting off to school alone etc.

It's the kind of thing I would think I would have loved at fifteen but when it actually happened I'd have been really lonely.

Can Granny stay over?

What a strange comment. I love time on my own and especially loved it as a teenager.

I also genuinely don't understand why on here everyone seems to think overnight and The Dark is magically more dangerous than day time

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 05/07/2021 17:19

^ this.

Our house caught fire. How would a teen cope with that.

My friend left her 13 year old for an hour and a half in daylight. Someone tried to break in, and the child phoned her parents. Fortunately they gave up, but her daughter was traumatised. This was not in a dangerous area.

TheHoundsofLove · 05/07/2021 17:22

I think a sensible, confident 15 year old is more than capable of being left at home alone for a couple of nights. As long as she is genuinely happy with it, I would be too.

MilduraS · 05/07/2021 17:26

My parents left me home alone for a weekend from 15. No issues. I already knew how to cook for myself and I was capable of a bit of washing up.

They had left my older sister home alone for the first time at 16 and naturally ( for her) she had a party. She almost got away with it until my mum spotted a Bacardi breezer lid on the floor next to the fireplace. Still, she and her friends were in one piece, the house was clean and the neighbours next door didn't complain so I don't think it was the out of control party you'd imagine.

Frenchfancy · 05/07/2021 17:33

Not before 16 for me, and then probably n ot 2 nights running.

As others have said it is not just whether your DD is sensible, it is whether someone else finds out she is home alone.

During the day would be no problem for me though. Why can't she sleep at her Nans and hang out at home during the day?

girl71 · 05/07/2021 17:34

"I also genuinely don't understand why on here everyone seems to think overnight and The Dark is magically more dangerous than day time".

Because it generally is. During the day our village is busy , alive, vigilant and crime free as , everyone up, about and out and , the elders watching everything . night time, windows are closed, curtains are drawn and people are asleep. Ring doorbells, cctv and those awake thru illness or young children see a whole other activity. There is low level criminality in the day but it escalates at night.

We also have a huge huge police presence in our village, both serving and retired living here and still the crime occurs. Serving officers are busy out serving all hours and the old fellas have retired and elderly.

RedHelenB · 05/07/2021 17:36

As long as she knows that if she changes her mind she can go to her nans no bother I think she'll be fine

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/07/2021 17:38

The night belongs to lovers and vagabonds

claralara42 · 05/07/2021 17:39

Our house caught fire. How would a teen cope with that

Leave, and call the fire brigade? Are your 15 year olds like toddlers? Not to mention the chances of that happening at all, let alone on the one night you left them alone, are ridiculously tiny.

sadie9 · 05/07/2021 17:43

She probably doesn't want to have to endure the cousin's company for 2 whole days. Can she not stay with her Nan at night and then go back up to your house during the day for a while...if she wants?
Forget about what anyone else is going to do. Do what suits your family.

nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome · 05/07/2021 17:44

@claralara42

I'm sure she would be fine but it's a bit shit, isn't it? Home alone, sleeping alone, eating alone etc, getting off to school alone etc

Don't you like time alone sometimes? Why do you think teenagers don't?

There's time alone and there's being left responsible for a full house at fifteen for several days.

It's a lot of needless responsibility for a kid who, until the thought was put in her head, wasn't bothered.

lynxca16 · 05/07/2021 17:44

A hard no from me - 15yrs is too young to be home alone while you go on holiday.
How long are you away for?

MyDcAreMarvel · 05/07/2021 17:44

@claralara42 Not to mention the chances of that happening at all, let alone on the one night you left them alone, are ridiculously tiny. I take it you don’t use car seats or seat belts then? The risk of having a car crash that results in serious injury or death is tiny. Risk assessment is not just about the chance of an incident occurring it’s also the seriousness of a possible incident.

warmfluffytowels · 05/07/2021 17:46

I also genuinely don't understand why on here everyone seems to think overnight and The Dark is magically more dangerous than day time

  • because there are often less people around at night.
  • you're far more vulnerable asleep than you are awake (if there's a fire, for example).
  • night-time crimes tend to be more violent than day-time ones, even though crime is generally more likely during the day.
nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome · 05/07/2021 17:46

Why is everyone comparing themselves, as fully grown adults, to a fifteen year old child enjoying time alone? It's a completely different scenario!

Iggi999 · 05/07/2021 17:46

I was a sensible as it comes, and I remember being scared at night when left alone for a weekend at 15. I didn't tell my parents that though. Loved most of it, but late at night things can seem creepy!

MattyGroves · 05/07/2021 17:50

@nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome

Why is everyone comparing themselves, as fully grown adults, to a fifteen year old child enjoying time alone? It's a completely different scenario!
I enjoyed time alone more as a 15 year old than I do now, actually - I think because school is pretty intense people time for an introvert
Doghead · 05/07/2021 17:50

@Rothko2929

She’ll be fine, for sure, but you can’t trust her. She’ll have her BF or her buddies over.
Not all teenagers do this!!