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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call the police over this girl screaming?

181 replies

MrsTumbletap · 03/07/2021 22:12

I can hear a girl screaming across the road in what at first sounded like a 9-12year (I'm guessing) having a tantrum. I couldn't make out what she was saying but could hear the parents shouting and screaming back.

This was about at 30minutes ago. I thought initially it's a parenting issue, not my business. Now I can clearly hear her screaming "I want to go to my mums house!" She is screaming it over and over and over at the top of her lungs. Really screaming, they are screaming back, it is relentless. It's awful and making me feel like I need to go round there and help. (I won't of course it is clearly quite volatile in there). I can hear this with their windows closed and a drive in front of their house and a road between us and my windows closed.

What would you do?

Do I leave it alone, not my business?
Call the non emergency number and report?

OP posts:
Gavellar · 04/07/2021 08:54

I know it's not quite the same but when I was in Lebanon having a haircut (I lived there, hadnt just jetted off for a haircut) a woman brought in a baby, I would say 12 to 18 M for a blow dry ffs. The ge baby was beside absolutely hysterical and the mum literally lined her down and the bitch hairdresser kneeled over her screaming in her face. The noise haunts me today. The sound of terror will never leave me. Different totally to the sound of a winging baby on a plane for example, yea they are distressed and maybe even in pain but that primal scream of fear is quite different. You did the right thing. I wish I had have done. X

Gavellar · 04/07/2021 08:54

*Pinned

KarmaStar · 04/07/2021 09:00

I would call.
I would also try to keep an eye on the girl after because so many times the parents will say oh everything is fine just kids letting off steam.when the door is shut and they think police are gone,they lay into the victim for bringing the police to the door.

orangejuicer · 04/07/2021 09:16

OP did call.

Geamhradh · 04/07/2021 09:25

@orangejuicer

OP did call.
Do you think in 10 years time posters are still going to be telling her to ring?

I've been on MN since 2004, but never like the past week have I noticed that people really do only read the OP and not the subsequent 800 messages. I've seen others complain about it but never noticed it myself. Confused

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/07/2021 09:32

Good call. Poor little mite. I’m so glad her mum and grandparents got her.

herewegogc · 04/07/2021 09:32

Well done OP 👏

Derrymum123 · 04/07/2021 09:43

999 immediately.

theSliceOfPie · 04/07/2021 09:49

Well done op.

Doyoumind · 04/07/2021 09:50

@Derrymum123

999 immediately.
You're 12 hours late.
EmeraldShamrock · 04/07/2021 09:57

OP you should ring 999. Grin kidding.
Awh poor child she must have been highly distressed to scream for hours.
I'm glad she's back with DM and the police arrived quickly.

Sylvan92 · 04/07/2021 09:58

I have a friend who is a police officer. She says if they get a call to some kind of domestic situation and it turns out to be nothing, they feel relieved, not annoyed that their time has been wasted.

orangejuicer · 04/07/2021 10:06

@Geamhradh

Probably! Grin

I don't tend to bother posting on long threads any more as you just get more of the same!

Parentingparrot · 04/07/2021 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread.

mam0918 · 04/07/2021 10:49

Depends, do you feel safe reporting it?

My old neighbor was an abusive asshole to everyone including his kids, I really felt sorry for his kids (and maybe his wife but she kept taking him back so she was kind of choosing to continue it) but didnt report it because he regularly threatened me and MY kid (we lived alone too).

We ended up with a no contact order in place after he tried to kick my door in to get to us screaming he would kill us (over a parking space) and I was on the phone to the police who heard and recorded it all but that was after 5 years of it.

It was awful hearing him screaming and banging and the kids scream/beg and the mam yelling at him to stop but something as simple as us still having our lights on after 8pm would set him off and have him throwing things off our windows, us parking our car on our property had him threaten to kill us so never mind what he would do if I reported him to social services.

I doubt they would straight up arrest him and send him to jail and without the garantee of them doing that so there would be no violent retaliation then I would be sticking a bigger target to us and would be risking my child to report him which Im just not willing to do.

Geamhradh · 04/07/2021 10:52

This reply has been deleted

Message removed as it quotes a post we've withdrawn.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 04/07/2021 10:55

Report
Police will if nothing else scare them and calm it down
I had to call them for my asd son a few weeks ago

TheCrowening · 04/07/2021 10:59

It's difficult with children. The OP didn't know any of the background - it's possible that the child was playing off against separated/divorced parents, the parent being shouted out had done nothing wrong and was devastated by the shouting and the subsequent police involvement.

This would definitely be possible, even likely, but there’s no excuse for the adults shouting back at her.

73kittycat73 · 04/07/2021 11:16

Can I just say thank you OP. My heart goes out to that little girl. As someone who didn't have anyone step in when I was a child, I truly appreciate people like you. Flowers

MzHz · 04/07/2021 12:01

Good god. This could have been the dd of one of us mumsnetters!

@MrsTumbletap you did absolutely the right thing, and I am so pleased that you did, that the police reacted and more still that the little girl was taken out of that situation

Let’s hope that she’s never left with those awful people again.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 04/07/2021 12:04

@73kittycat73 I hope you have a good life now Flowers

Yes, for all the unheard children, everyone needs to ring, unless it is going to put you in danger. I have done it for next door knowing full well they would suspect, if not be able to prove it was me. Fortunately I have a DH.

Well done OP. I would do it every time Flowers

Houseofvelour · 04/07/2021 12:08

Well done op. You did the right thing xx

Thirtyrock39 · 04/07/2021 13:13

And if it wasn't an abusive situation but sen or mental health related it is very hard for parents to ring for help for their own child but it will help them to get taken more seriously and get urgent intervention from services so it was definitely the right thing to do for the interests of the child whatever was the cause behind it.

SmudgeButt · 04/07/2021 13:17

@mam0918

Depends, do you feel safe reporting it?

My old neighbor was an abusive asshole to everyone including his kids, I really felt sorry for his kids (and maybe his wife but she kept taking him back so she was kind of choosing to continue it) but didnt report it because he regularly threatened me and MY kid (we lived alone too).

We ended up with a no contact order in place after he tried to kick my door in to get to us screaming he would kill us (over a parking space) and I was on the phone to the police who heard and recorded it all but that was after 5 years of it.

It was awful hearing him screaming and banging and the kids scream/beg and the mam yelling at him to stop but something as simple as us still having our lights on after 8pm would set him off and have him throwing things off our windows, us parking our car on our property had him threaten to kill us so never mind what he would do if I reported him to social services.

I doubt they would straight up arrest him and send him to jail and without the garantee of them doing that so there would be no violent retaliation then I would be sticking a bigger target to us and would be risking my child to report him which Im just not willing to do.

I get this completely.

And I've been disappointed a couple of times with the police when I've called them. Once it was a group of young adults going by just after the pub had closed. One of the couples started arguing and he started hitting her. When I rang 999 I was told "oh don't worry, it's just a drunken domestic!" as if that made it ok. As much as I was concerned I certainly wasn't going to go out and confront a group of well boozed up people and tell them to behave.

2bazookas · 04/07/2021 13:19

I'd call 999, police report, and let them sort it out.

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