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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call the police over this girl screaming?

181 replies

MrsTumbletap · 03/07/2021 22:12

I can hear a girl screaming across the road in what at first sounded like a 9-12year (I'm guessing) having a tantrum. I couldn't make out what she was saying but could hear the parents shouting and screaming back.

This was about at 30minutes ago. I thought initially it's a parenting issue, not my business. Now I can clearly hear her screaming "I want to go to my mums house!" She is screaming it over and over and over at the top of her lungs. Really screaming, they are screaming back, it is relentless. It's awful and making me feel like I need to go round there and help. (I won't of course it is clearly quite volatile in there). I can hear this with their windows closed and a drive in front of their house and a road between us and my windows closed.

What would you do?

Do I leave it alone, not my business?
Call the non emergency number and report?

OP posts:
WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 03/07/2021 23:28

Most survivors of abuse will tell you that people knew and did nothing. No one should stand by when something bad could be happening to a child.

Westfacing · 03/07/2021 23:29

Well done OP - whatever it was she's now with her mum which is what she wanted.

She must have been very unhappy to scream for so long.

Treehaus · 03/07/2021 23:34

@Mangofandangoo

You people know 999 and 101 go through to the exact same place right? They don't just take their time looking at things because it came through 101
The details of the calls go into the same 'pot' when it comes to prioritising, but 999 calls will take priority in being answered, so 101 calls will be more of a wait.
paniniswapx3 · 03/07/2021 23:39

You did the right thing Op - well done.

BlackeyedSusan · 03/07/2021 23:40

god it would be mortifying if police were called to dc's autistic screams, but better embarrassment than something actually happening to a child and no help. I can prove the diagnosis. and the bruises and marks they have inflicted on me during their meltdown. (they are mainly growing out of it now) (police were called to neighbours autistic dc)

also a child in distress due to mental health, with loving parents is likely to get help quicker because the system is rubbish. Police can assess and call ambulance etc.

justasking111 · 03/07/2021 23:50

It's even more concerning when the adults are screaming too.

FortniteBoysMum · 03/07/2021 23:52
  1. During first lockdown I was walking my dog and heard a full blown domestic in a 3rd floor flat. I hadn't took my phone with me. I literally ran home with the dog grabbed my phone. Dp wondered what the hell was going on when he heard me say police please. I shot back out up the road to see if I could work out the address to tell police. Better safe than sorry. If you were that girl would you want it reported? Maybe she's not allowed contact with her mother by court order or maybe the father Is abusive. That's for the police to find out.
Stroller15 · 03/07/2021 23:58

Well done OP. It's good that you called.

PurpleRainDancer · 04/07/2021 00:26

@Themeparklover

leave it, they're just arguing she's clearly just a hormonal preteen if you're that concerned knock on the door
You should be ashamed of yourself.
tcjotm · 04/07/2021 00:33

Well done OP, you did the right thing. And you’re right, it could be the part of the puzzle they need. And at the very least a little girl knew someone had her back.

supermodel · 04/07/2021 00:38

You definitely did the right thing.

Boomisshiss · 04/07/2021 00:44

You did the right thing. If it was just a tantrum to go home it doesn’t matter the adults shouldn’t have been screaming back at her ,

chickenyhead · 04/07/2021 00:47

If it was my daughter I would have wanted to know. You did right.

PerciphonePuma · 04/07/2021 01:51

@Themeparklover 138 responses and you're the ONLY person to tell OP not to do anything about it. That clearly shows you just love to be the contrary one... Hmm

1forAll74 · 04/07/2021 02:50

Definitely call the police, you never know what might be happening to her, especially saying she want's to go to her Mums.

QueenBee52 · 04/07/2021 03:32

@1forAll74

Definitely call the police, you never know what might be happening to her, especially saying she want's to go to her Mums.
OP called the police.. the police have been in attendance... the Child has left the residence.
iloveeverykindofcat · 04/07/2021 05:50

Well done OP. Amazing how people just....don't do anything in these situation. Me included. Sometimes its just confusing. Once I ended up calling an ambulance for a homeless guy passed out in a park....after much hesitation and confusion. Everyone else just walked past, so I thought, oh, maybe he's okay, he just needs to sleep it off, should I do something? Am I wasting services' time? So I walked up about 2 meters from him and said 'HELLO? ARE YOU OKAY?' but he didn't stir at all, and when I did eventually call for help they came really quickly and took him in the ambulance with lights and all. So if I hadn't done that he'd have just laid there, but I can't really claim any kind of moral high ground because I almost didn't do it! In fact I did just walk past the first time, but then I went back.

itsaccrualworld · 04/07/2021 06:24

It's difficult with children. The OP didn't know any of the background - it's possible that the child was playing off against separated/divorced parents, the parent being shouted out had done nothing wrong and was devastated by the shouting and the subsequent police involvement.

It's also possible that something more sinister was going on. I think whenever you're not sure, as much as children can exaggerate and lie sometimes, you have to take them at face value until you can disprove it. If she wanted to be with her mum that much, she was probably safe with her mum, and the relevant grown ups today (after everyone's had some sleep) can start to figure out the truth of the situation, and where the little girl really should be. Maybe she stays with mum. Maybe she needs to go back. But these decisions are better made when everyone is calm enough to establish the facts.

If the child was in the wrong, the parents will get over it, because the child comes first. If the child was in the right, the mum will be grateful to you forever.

It was a gamble worth making, well done.

Maddy456 · 04/07/2021 06:30

Well done OP. You did the right thing

Crockof · 04/07/2021 07:30

[quote PerciphonePuma]@Themeparklover 138 responses and you're the ONLY person to tell OP not to do anything about it. That clearly shows you just love to be the contrary one... Hmm[/quote]
I assume the OP has neighbours? All who have ignored the screaming, even the op needed to be reassured. So no I don't think they are being contrary, I think sadly that the majority of people think like this.

Op glad you contacted the police, it was a 999 call as well.

A call handler on the other thread said 999 if happening now.

thedancingbear · 04/07/2021 07:41

I've nothing to add here except well done, OP.

MagentaRocks · 04/07/2021 07:45

I work in a police control room.

999 always if happening now or there is a risk of harm.

Yes 999 and 101 go through to the same place but 999 calls have priority. 101 can have a very long wait time but this is due to the 999 calls having priority. Depending on where you live will depend how the 101 calls are answered. Where I am the message when you ring gives you the option to change to 999 or if you don’t opt for any of the options and go through to switchboard, if the call is an emergency it will be treated as a 999 call. Of course that won’t happen if you select an option and end up in a queue.

Glad you rang. I would rather someone rings 999 if unsure. If you ring 999 and it is not an emergency then you will be directed to ring 101.

Hollywolly1 · 04/07/2021 08:21

You did the right thing.
The people the child was with should have stepped up and called the child's mother/grandparents. Maybe the child has issues and maybe not but either way they could have diffused the situation.If there are any difficulties the child is having with those people you have possibly highlighted that and now on record so fair dues to helping a vulnerable child

AppealingPeel · 04/07/2021 08:25

I actually think something very important happened for that little girl tonight. She kept screaming. She didn't get silenced or learn that no one will help. She learned that if she fought for herself other people would help. Two adults should not be screaming at a 7 year old for an hour. She wasn't in a safe place and she knew it. Well done OP!

BlackSwan · 04/07/2021 08:32

So distressing. You did the right thing.

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