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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to punch my husband

100 replies

paulhollywoodshairgel · 03/07/2021 21:38

Husband watching football. That's fine. I got on my soap box a bit about how it's unfair that these events can go on with thousands of spectators. Then when the match is over will all pour into the pubs and streets. BUT we can't attend our kids sports day, our LG year 7 transition day has been cancelled, proms and end of year trips/parties cancelled. It's just so unfair. Because none of those things make money they aren't important. Anyway. He speaks to me like I'm a child and about how these events are important to the nation. Fuck that. Our kids and the shit year and a half they've had are important. I feel like punching him.

OP posts:
melj1213 · 04/07/2021 00:45

If you don't want to discuss football then don't talk to me during a football game. I love football and halftime is when you nip for a wee, get a new drink and watch the analysis and/or discuss the first half, I'm not generally interested in non-football topics for those 2 hours. I was at my uncle's for the game and they had two TVs, most of us were watching out in the garden on the big projector but my aunt and two of my cousins watched inside because they wanted to have a chat with the game on in the background whereas the rest of us were watching the game with discussion about it being secondary.

If you want to talk about covid then I will give you short shrift in general because I am sick of hearing about it - there's always someone who wants to moan about covid in relation to everything and it gets wearing and my patience and politeness in shutting it down does start to wane, it seems your DH is the same.

Husbandno4 · 04/07/2021 01:47

The COVID rules are really rubbish. But they sent your OH’s fault.
We should all enjoy the things we are allowed to do. If that’s the footie for him than that’s great. I wouldn’t be having a go at him for this. Especially as it’s coming home this year!

ThreeLocusts · 04/07/2021 01:53

Just to say OP I hear you re being spoken to condescendingly, I'd hate that too. And I don't think you are a violent person for expressing this by saying you could have punched him. The football is incidental really.

Confusedandshaken · 04/07/2021 04:23

I have zero interest in football. It wasn't watched in our house but I feel sorry for your DH. For people who care about such things it was a big deal and I'm sure he would have preferred to enjoy it (halftime included) without someone on their soapbox ranting about how unfair life is.

I have a very close friend who is constantly on her soapbox lecturing about the iniquities of the current government, Brexit, the NHS, education, climate change et al. I agree with nearly everything she says but sometimes I wish she would just shut up!

Benvolio · 04/07/2021 04:40

I think you've been piled on unreasonably here, OP. It was clear from your tone that 'feel like punching' wasn't remotely implying violent intent and people who might usually have taken more notice of your actual problem, that your husband told you off like a minor, have been distracted by that into thinking this is about football. It's not, as is clear by your mention of tennis. It's about the dismissive way he spoke to you and I get it. The people on here saying, 'oh don't spoil the football fun' have not grasped what your problem is. It's not covid restrictions, it's your condescending husband.

Pronosticomexicano · 04/07/2021 07:33

As usual domestic violence gets the green light as long as it's the right way round.

And it's not surprising he talks to you like a child if you choose one of the highlights of the week (or longer) for many people to piss and moan and generally bring everyone down.

Shoxfordian · 04/07/2021 07:50

I don’t think the two things are comparable really; international football and a school sports day.

It isn’t right for him to always be condescending when you disagree with him though

Northernparent68 · 04/07/2021 07:56

If he treats you like a child it might be because you’re childish.

Crayfishforyou · 04/07/2021 08:00

There are some nasty people on this thread
It doesn’t really register if someone is right or wrong, if I’m being mansplained, spoken to like an idiot or patronised I want to punch the other person

Sparkletastic · 04/07/2021 08:01

I'd hate to be spoken to in the way your husband speaks to you OP. Do you have the kind of relationship where you can raise that with him and ask him to make a change?

warmfluffytowels · 04/07/2021 08:03

What did you want to achieve by doing all this half way through the football match?

The way the restrictions are applied is down to the government. It's not your DH's fault that sports day has been cancelled so in the nicest way, what were you complaining at him about it for? And why halfway through a huge football match?

spotcheck · 04/07/2021 08:11

OP
You chose your time poorly.

However, is everyone on this thread just completely missing the point?

Saying you feel like punching someone is a turn of phrase. OP is doing it on an anonymous forum. She's repeatedly said she won't. Let me translate- saying you feel like punching someone = just being quite angry with that situation. She didn't tell her DH that she wants to punch him.

HER issue is that he patronises her. Which made her angry.

Macncheeseballs · 04/07/2021 10:16

'If he's treating you like a child maybe that's because you're childish'! Wtf, somewhat akin to 'you made me do it' or 'you deserved it', all hail football, do not speak to anyone whikst they're watching football, what a load of bollox

ivfgottwins · 04/07/2021 10:18

I wouldn't want to be preached at in the middle of the football game either - not everything has to have covid and politics brought into it 🤷‍♀️

IamnotSethRogan · 04/07/2021 10:28

Oh god I imagine if I was sitting down to watch something I looked forward to after this shite year and my husband and wife started banging on if get a bit fucked off and talk down to them.

I hate football and think it's fucking stupid. More over if I did like football I wouldn't be supporting England. But my husband likes it so I just go and do something else. No one needs someone ranting at them during down time.

Bluntness100 · 04/07/2021 10:35

Honestly the feeling is prob mutual op, Do you not think he already knows rhe situation on Covid and needed to hear you complaining about it during half time

It’s shit. We all know it’s shit, really we do.

Ducksurprise · 04/07/2021 10:37

This isn't acceptable. If a man posted he wanted to post his wife there would be a pile on.

Macncheeseballs · 04/07/2021 10:44

It's been 'a shite year' for non football fans as well, nice for them to have it rubbed in their faces by observing all these mass high contact events Hmm

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 04/07/2021 10:45

Imagine if you were at your kids sports day, enjoying it, and when they have a wee break your DH starts ranting at you about it being unfair that kids can have this but football has to be called off.

I imagine you would tell him to shut up.

Yabu.

zoemum2006 · 04/07/2021 10:56

I have a DD in year 6 and I feel your pain.

My older daughter had such a wonderful end of year 6 and it upsets my my youngest DD won’t.

ArnoldJudasRimmer · 04/07/2021 11:00

YABU. I'd probably talk down to someone a little if they insisted on ranting through something I enjoyed, especially if it was something over which I had literally no control.
I'm not completely sure massive sporting events are particularly safe at the moment, and it doesn't seem fair that other restrictions for smaller events are still firmly in place, but the football will go ahead whether we want it to or not, so may as well enjoy the match on TV if you're into it, it'll be cheering up a lot of people who have been/still are living under certain restrictions for what seems like forever now.

Original poster
paulhollywoodshairgel · 04/07/2021 11:04

Ok. I think my point has been missed slightly. Sorry for any offence caused. I will think a bit more next time and title my thread 'husband being a condescending wanker I want to stroke him softly with feathers'

Thanks for all your opinions and input. I will rethink my ways and never voice my pesky thoughts during the sacred football ever again. Consider me told. Thanks again all.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 04/07/2021 11:04

@Macncheeseballs

It's been 'a shite year' for non football fans as well, nice for them to have it rubbed in their faces by observing all these mass high contact events Hmm
No-one seems to be denying that

But that doesn't mean the OP should've spoiled it for her DH.

Lots of things in life are unfair but that doesn't mean we shouldn't pick our moments to complain about them.

This wasn't the moment.

warmfluffytowels · 04/07/2021 11:06

@Macncheeseballs

It's been 'a shite year' for non football fans as well, nice for them to have it rubbed in their faces by observing all these mass high contact events Hmm
Yep, and nobody is saying otherwise.

But bitching and moaning through the football doesn't actually change anything - all it does is ruin the husbands' enjoyment of the game.

Everyone is sick of COVID and restrictions but its' not football fans' fault that sports day at the local primary is cancelled.

warmfluffytowels · 04/07/2021 11:08

Thanks for all your opinions and input. I will rethink my ways and never voice my pesky thoughts during the sacred football ever again. Consider me told. Thanks again all.

But what were you hoping to achieve by complaining at him? It's not his fault school has cancelled sports day - taking your anger out on him and his enjoyment just seems a bit vindictive really.