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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What do you wish you had/hadn't done at your wedding?

251 replies

awkwardusername · 03/07/2021 14:06

Right down to the tiny details!

OP posts:

HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 03/07/2021 23:35

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

Think it's a bit rude to have set aside expensive champagne for yourselves and give your guests the cheap stuff.

This!!

Vivana · 03/07/2021 23:48

I shouldn't of got married

Sweetchocolatecandy · 03/07/2021 23:55

@HopingForOurRainbowBaby Why? The champagne was bought as a gift for the married couple, not for the guests. Do you think they should have shared all of their other gifts with the guests as well? How bizarre

Blossomtoes · 04/07/2021 00:21

[quote Sweetchocolatecandy]@HopingForOurRainbowBaby Why? The champagne was bought as a gift for the married couple, not for the guests. Do you think they should have shared all of their other gifts with the guests as well? How bizarre [/quote]
It wasn’t a gift actually.

Extrapepperoni · 04/07/2021 00:24

Wish I had:

bought a dress to change into. I wore a sari for my ceremony and was uncomfortable so changed into a cocktail dress but wish I'd got something specifically to change into
put up a bar tab for after dinner
had a better DJ

Everything else was brilliant.

HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 04/07/2021 00:29

@Sweetchocolatecandy obviously not, but surely something like that, gift or not you drink it just the 2 of you either in the hotel venue if you stay over, back at home or on your honeymoon. Although if you know of anyone getting married soon I do quite fancy a nice crockery set and I'm in need of some new fancy wine glasses and tumblers as well!

IdblowJonSnow · 04/07/2021 00:38

I wish I'd spent less time having the photos done. And also didnt get to try any cake, it went in a flash!
Otherwise not really anything, it was a lovely day.

katienana · 04/07/2021 07:28

We always say we would have had a free bar, been to lots of weddings now and a free bar always goes down well! Don't know how we'd have paid for it mind you.

Twokitstwokats · 04/07/2021 07:33

I wish I had done a free bar. I just didn't know about etiquette and every wedding I went to afterwards had a free bar so I felt mean then. Also, no one bought me a drink and I felt awkward buying my own!
Better buffet. It was embarrassing that it wasn't great.
Hired a proper photographer. I called in family for cars, photos, hair, did my own make up, favours and invites... it all went well but the photographer was a bit crap.
It was all saved by the band though. I'm sure people remember dancing and having fun.

Mrstamborineman · 04/07/2021 07:36

I wish I had not turned up.

ballroompink · 04/07/2021 07:53

I wish we hadn't bothered with the evening buffet. So much was left!

Would have had different bridesmaid's dresses. I wasn't bothered by them but felt pressured into making a decision and couldn't afford to spend much and ended up going with this style that didn't even flatter my bridesmaids' body types so I imagine they hardly felt great about it either.

Wouldn't have had my oldest SIL as a bridesmaid. Felt strongarmed into it as she had a bit of a tantrum about originally not being asked. She did the same a couple of years ago for another relative's wedding!

Wouldn't have been pressured by my mum into having fruit cake and a roast dinner for our main course to pander to the older generation of relatives.

Would have had a band (couldn't afford one).

Would have had a better honeymoon (again couldn't afford anything so we stayed in a relative's apartment on the Costa del Sol). We couldn't afford to spend much while we were there and it was ok but not the holiday we would choose.

IamMaz · 04/07/2021 08:01

I wish I had stood up to my FIL. My DH had been married before. All the photos of us and the guests had been taken. We were having photos done of just the two of us and FIL came out from the reception room, where the 20 guests were waiting, to ask if we could hurry up because he was getting hungry.

reallynow1 · 04/07/2021 08:03

Spent more time looking for invites rather than my mums friend doing them...they were rubbish.

Tried different dresses on. I chose the first dress and didn't look at any other styles...I loved my dress, but I do wonder if there were better ones out there...and hired it instead of buying....it's a hell of a lot of money for a one day dress to then live in the attic!

If I got married again, I would do it differently. I would have a smaller wedding, without the extended family and mums friends 'having' to be invited. But back in the day when I did get married....it was a beautiful day.

MaggieFS · 04/07/2021 08:07

Taken more time over the photos. Not that I ever recall being bored at a wedding whilst photos were being done, it comes up time and time again 'don't take too long/leave guests hanging around' (when they could actually be happily chatting with a drink on hand ) so we just had the bare minimum of formal group photos and missed some really obvious ones which still breaks my heart. I don't have one of my mum and me. I don't have one of my bridesmaid and me. I naively thought there would be others from through the day so we wouldn't need formal ones. I regret it so much.

Frezia · 04/07/2021 08:19

Had a photo taken with my grandma. I wish I'd given the photographer the list of important people I want my photo taken with.

Frezia · 04/07/2021 08:22

Also wish I'd gone with a different dress. I chickened out of the one I liked the most as it was so different to my usual style, and went with the one that was safe but ok.

KatherineOfGaunt · 04/07/2021 08:23

I wish I'd had some photos of me and my friends, even just informal ones. I'd love a group shot of us together. I wish I'd written my speech properly (my DH and I did one together just thanking people but I wish I'd written it out rather than just a list of who to thank). And I wish I'd had music for the buffet. I just ran out of time!

Apart from that it was pretty perfect!

RoseMartha · 04/07/2021 08:27

Got married

poorbuthappy · 04/07/2021 08:36

When I'd lost the 2 stone and changed shape massively I should have changed the bodice on my dress. I didn't wear a strapless bodice because when I first tried it on it looked shit on me. 2 stone later it looked lovely but I didn't change it. I massively regret the dress.

Mansplainee · 04/07/2021 08:44

I wish we had practiced posing for photos a little bit. I don’t really have any photos of me from the day that I like.

BlueCupOrangeCup · 04/07/2021 08:51

My sister had Swarovski crystals sprinkled on the tables. You know like you would table confetti.

She did say they longer the wedding planning time the more money you spend.

eclipsechips · 04/07/2021 09:03

We eloped with our wedding party and I wouldn't change a thing about that - it was perfect but I wish we hadn't had a reception back home, we did it to keep everyone happy even though it wasn't what we wanted.

TheDuchessOfBeddington · 04/07/2021 13:33

@Preech

Quite a few of our guests responded by heading to nearby bars across the road from the restaurant for a while during the party, which were cheaper.

I actually think this was really rude of the guests.

TheDuchessOfBeddington · 04/07/2021 13:36

Sorry hit post too soon.

Rude of the guests, not something you should regret.

MirandaMarple · 04/07/2021 23:08

@Extrapepperoni

Wish I had:

bought a dress to change into. I wore a sari for my ceremony and was uncomfortable so changed into a cocktail dress but wish I'd got something specifically to change into
put up a bar tab for after dinner
had a better DJ

Everything else was brilliant.

I wore a sari too. No problem Indian heritage, I just love them 😍

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