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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Garden supper this evening. Would it be reasonable to suggest that guests might leave the table for the football?

756 replies

LemonRoses · 03/07/2021 10:12

We have a ten people arriving for supper this evening. We plan to eat on the terrace, with a 7pm start to catch the last of any sunshine. Clearly if they arrive at 7.15, have drinks and warm spiced nuts/olives then sit down to a starter of crab, we’re not going to be serving the entree until well past 8pm.

I don’t know two of the couples. My guess would be that three, maybe four, of the men would want to see the match. I don’t think most of the women would be particularly interested.

My problem is I wasn’t aware there was a football match this evening and I rather suspect some guests will want to see it.

Do we;

  • open the doors so people can pop in and out?
  • suggest those that wish cut their food at table and then eat of their knees with a fork whilst watching the television?
  • suggest we watch together later?
  • not mention to football and hope nobody else does?
  • arrange regular update messages from someone who is watching?

If a match is at 8pm, what time will it finish? Should we defer eating until after the match but add in more substantial canapés?

OP posts:
a8mint · 03/07/2021 21:47

I am not a football fanbut even i want to watch England when they are doing so well in a big tournament like this.
Yoi need to let people watch

Remoulade · 03/07/2021 21:53

Can someone explain why it's so exciting though? I honestly do not get it lol

RamItBunty · 03/07/2021 21:54

Shared camaraderie. Excitement and hope. Drama of winning. Break from covid woes. National pride

VerticalHorizon · 03/07/2021 21:58

I stood with my son at a very special footballing moment (the famous 'Aguerooooo' moment). I knew then, that long after I'd gone, he'd remember being with his dad...

Everybody has moments, but that was mine. Football gave me that. For others, it will something else, but sport can give people those moments.

LimeJellyforBrains · 03/07/2021 22:03

I remember being at a wedding in on 5th July 1980. Now that was a bad choice of date/time! It was Bjorn Borg's historic 5th win at Wimbledon. The main reception room was practically deserted. Almost all the guests, including the bride and groom, were crammed into the small bar that had a TV. Grin

RampantIvy · 03/07/2021 22:11

Did they watch the match?

AndNobbyDancing · 03/07/2021 22:12

@VerticalHorizon

I stood with my son at a very special footballing moment (the famous 'Aguerooooo' moment). I knew then, that long after I'd gone, he'd remember being with his dad...

Everybody has moments, but that was mine. Football gave me that. For others, it will something else, but sport can give people those moments.

This.
RealhousewifeofStoke · 03/07/2021 22:12

@Remoulade

Can someone explain why it's so exciting though? I honestly do not get it lol
England have been so shite for so many years that this is a real novelty. Fair weather fans. Same with the rugby. They’re only fans when they’re winning Wink
CandyLeBonBon · 03/07/2021 22:15

@Remoulade

Can someone explain why it's so exciting though? I honestly do not get it lol
The game is great. The sense of togetherness is invigorating but I hate the mindless tribalism that it inevitably provokes. There's a dark underbelly to football that women end up paying the price for.

We win? Great. There's violence.
We lose? Shit. More violence.

I love the game, I hate the mindless, blind nationalism, and all that entails. Look at the comments aimed at the German girl on Twitter.

A reaction to a game, where we won, caused grown men to hurl the most foul abuse at a young girl online.

That's the part of football I hate.

The game is great. The vitriol it generates is not.

VerticalHorizon · 03/07/2021 22:17

I don't really see a problem with a nation getting excited, even if they are generally disinterested. I think the same happened with Andy Murray winning Wimbledon.

Maybe there's some sort of transference, and someone winning something represents our own dreams and aspirations albeit vicariously. A sense of elation is a special thing. If people can enjoy it, I'm all for it.

NFLwidow · 03/07/2021 22:18

Anyone have the number for an Uber eats for fresh crab and warm nuts? Yorkshire. Delivery to front door

Zhampagne · 03/07/2021 22:18

@Remoulade

Can someone explain why it's so exciting though? I honestly do not get it lol
You don't have to get it. It's not compulsory. lol
mumof3wonderfuls · 03/07/2021 22:19

I'm intrigued by the warm nuts. How does one do this?

MaMelon · 03/07/2021 22:21

Spices, salts, seasoning, oil, bung them in the oven. Lots of recipes online Smile

VerticalHorizon · 03/07/2021 22:22

Candy makes some good points, but in my experience, it truly is a minority.
When I visit a stadium, I see children, men, women of all ages enjoying themselves. I DO see a few idiots. They absolutely exist. But you could say the same of any night out in a City centre... thousands of people just enjoying life, with some idiots thrown in.

For the violent men who abuse women. I think they will find their excuses come what may. There IS a correlation between the results of football and domestic abuse, I don't think that's in question, but there is also one between gambling losses, drinking, unemployment and more...

The root cause is men incapable of controlling themselves. Sadly sport (not just football) is one the catalysts. Terribly sad.

ThanksItHasPockets · 03/07/2021 22:23

@mumof3wonderfuls

I'm intrigued by the warm nuts. How does one do this?
No idea if this is what OP is serving (and I partly hope not because the turmeric will stain her sofa something rotten) but the 'Bombay nuts' from Fresh India by Meera Sodha are indecently good: www.recipewisdom.com/recipes/the-queens-bombay-nuts-recipe/
JudgeJ · 03/07/2021 22:23

@Remoulade

Can someone explain why it's so exciting though? I honestly do not get it lol
How boring life would be if everyone liked the same things! Personally I loathe 'reality' shows, especially those with serlebs, amateur cooking, painting, sewing etc programmes,. I do like some sports programmes though I'm not allowed to watch, listen or even check the score, being the kiss of death!
VerticalHorizon · 03/07/2021 22:26

JudgeJinx? ;-)

OldTinHat · 03/07/2021 22:27

I so love this post! As my mum would say..."how the other half live...!"

JudgeJ · 03/07/2021 22:29

England have been so shite for so many years that this is a real novelty. Fair weather fans. Same with the rugby. They’re only fans when they’re winning

It may surprise you to learn that it's not only in England where that happens, so many of friends in Denmark became afficianados when they won in 1992, similarly the Greeks when they won.

GoingGently · 03/07/2021 22:29

Surely you must ditch the 'garden supper crab' in favour of VIN-DA-LOOO...!!!

This thread is 🤣

JudgeJ · 03/07/2021 22:33

@VerticalHorizon

JudgeJinx? ;-)
Could be! In '66 I was doing a Saturday job and my boss got so fed up of me asking customers for the score that she sent me to the TV shop next door to watch 'the last 5 minutes', I walked in and Germany equalised! I started to watch Andy Murray when he was 2-0 sets and 5-0 in the third........ went downhill so I swapped over!
VerticalHorizon · 03/07/2021 22:38

@JudgeJ - Do not mentioned football for the next week for so!

CandyLeBonBon · 03/07/2021 22:40

@VerticalHorizon

Candy makes some good points, but in my experience, it truly is a minority. When I visit a stadium, I see children, men, women of all ages enjoying themselves. I DO see a few idiots. They absolutely exist. But you could say the same of any night out in a City centre... thousands of people just enjoying life, with some idiots thrown in.

For the violent men who abuse women. I think they will find their excuses come what may. There IS a correlation between the results of football and domestic abuse, I don't think that's in question, but there is also one between gambling losses, drinking, unemployment and more...

The root cause is men incapable of controlling themselves. Sadly sport (not just football) is one the catalysts. Terribly sad.

It is the minority and in years gone by their behaviour would have had a minimal impact. Social media has changed that. It's a great feeling, to be part of something bigger than yourself. I just wish the arseholes that show the negatives side of it were less bloody visible.
VerticalHorizon · 03/07/2021 22:48

100% agree.
I get quite upset when people stereotype football fans. I see every generation and most classes attending games (of course, upper class tend to be notable by their absence), but it really does get a bad press.

I sit next to two old ladies, one of whom feeds me sweets incessantly. I sit behind a married could I don't know from Adam, but we hug whenever we see each other. I have a moaning so and so behind me, and we all laugh WITH him... including his companions. This is how sport should be.

I'd say there's about 25% female around me. It's a joy to see!