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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect my sons teacher to get his name right?

169 replies

ohmyohmy123 · 03/07/2021 08:51

My son has had the same teacher for 2 consecutive years - and she still spells his name wrong. It's not just spelt incorrectly - it's a different name. He gets quite upset about it. I have pointed out the mistake multiple times but had his school report and it's typed wrong again on it.

It's not a hard name either.

He's only got another few weeks of her, should I just let it go or do I send her another email?

OP posts:
DreamingofGinoclock · 03/07/2021 14:13

This is appalling ....as someone who struggles with things like this (admittedly not a teacher) ....I am constantly double checking if I have spelt people's names properly in emails (and these are people I haven't even met let alone known/taught for 2 years) ....if I was a teacher whenever marking / report writing I would have a copy of register with me and so a quick double check on name / spelling! ...it's not hard!

Dddccc · 03/07/2021 14:16

Just change his name problem sorted

Maireas · 03/07/2021 14:18

@Dddccc

Just change his name problem sorted
Grin then the teacher will start to use the original one.
Deadleaf29 · 03/07/2021 14:19

That’s verging on bullying your child - you’ve pointed it multiple times and ways and he’s pointed it out and she’s blatantly ignoring you and upsetting a child she has pastoral responsibility for. For a primary teacher that’s outrageous - she’s had 30 children for two years, there’s absolutely no excuse. Doesn’t matter what his name is, she should make the effort to learn and remember it - the fact that she hasn’t means she’s either incredibly stupid, very lazy or deliberately winding you up. Complain, in writing - not in a “pointing it out cc the headteacher” way, in a “formal written complaint I expect a proper response to” way.

Lunificent · 03/07/2021 14:20

Go straight to the head. It’s gone on too long.

ineedaholidaynow · 03/07/2021 14:23

Is it unusual spelling?

Longdistance · 03/07/2021 14:32

That’s shocking. Send the report back with your ds and email in about his disappointed you are that the teacher cannot get his name right.
I’m a school secretary and have to edit reports. My guess is it was a copy and paste job. The amount of times I’ve seen the wrong child’s name on a report SMH.

SnowdaySewday · 03/07/2021 14:33

If this is primary, go to the Headteacher, if secondary to the Head of Year. Ask for the report to be re-issued with the correct name.

If primary, early next term, check with his new teacher that they are using the correct name. If they have heard his current teacher using the wrong name, they may have picked up the incorrect impression that that version is his preferred name.

Shortbreadbrokemytooth · 03/07/2021 14:35

Write an email to the head and say that your son is upset that the report has the wrong name on it, despite you having corrected the error several times before. Getting names right is essential for a primary teacher.

LovePoppy · 03/07/2021 14:42

@WhenSheWasBad

Is say let it go in secondary school. Teachers have hundreds of kids names to remember and it is really tricky.

I have two utterly wonder girls in one of my classes and I still get them mixed up. They always get an apology and luckily for me are very forgiving.

Why on earth should they let it go because the teacher can’t bother to learn the name?

This is a teacher issue, not a student needing to suck it up issue

Waspsarearseholes · 03/07/2021 14:46

Ooh this would really, really annoy me. It's a basic courtesy to get somebody's name correct and she has absolutely no excuse not to use his correct name. I'd definitely ask for the correct report. I'd probably act concerned that you've received somebody else's report as it's none of your business and it surely can't be a mistake because you and your son have pointed out numerous times to the teacher how it is spelt.

FuckingFabulous · 03/07/2021 14:46

Which degree of error is it? Like your son is Jimmy and she's calling him Timmy? Or like your son is Jimmy and she's calling him James? Or like your son is Jimmy and she's calling him Matthew?

They're all bad. But I am interested in knowing how wrong she's got it

JudgeJ · 03/07/2021 14:47

@RosieLemonade

Crumbs that is shit. I've spelt names wrong in books before and I've apologised straight away. I've taught so many Kai/Kye that I've often had to stop and think which one this is Blush
Teaching in a HIgh School I would usually teacher 6 or 7 groups, about 160-180 pupils per week and in almost every class there would be two pupils whose name I would confuse. It got to the stage that after a few weeks I would tell them , Look there's always a pair whose names I confuse and this year it's you! but I would never confuse them in reports etc.! Sometimes at Parents' Evening it would be hard to put a name to the face of the pupil I usually saw in uniform now in their civvies!
PotteringAlong · 03/07/2021 14:50

@JudgeJ at that’s with just 6 classes! I teach 18 classes a fortnight, just shy of 500 pupils. 5 of my classes I only see once a fortnight. Throw in lockdowns and self isolations and I will completely hold my hands up and say that there will be kids sitting in front of me in the next 2 weeks whose names I don’t know.

On the other hand, I only have 3 of my own children and I don’t always call them the right name Blush

CoffeeWithCheese · 03/07/2021 14:51

I'd be taking it to the Head by now - a one, or possibly two-off while your brain is getting into the groove of a new class list and there's possibly errors on it is forgivable... but two years of it just shows not giving a shit or doing it intentionally.

It's such a basic thing - I used to do supply and I would always make a point of checking when I did the register things like "is it Ah-ron or Air-ron and are you Samuel or do you like Sam?" It's just a little thing that shows you value them as a person.

Having said that I had a surname before I married that was a bastard to spell and a less common spelling of my first name. There was one year in secondary where the staff managed to rack up 10 different variations of my name among them.

contrary13 · 03/07/2021 14:52

In Yr 2, my son's name peg had his middle name as his surname. I wasn't impressed, as he was confused about it, went to the teacher and was told that I'd obviously entered his name incorrectly on his registration form. Nope. They'd managed to put his actual surname in the correct place during the 2 years of attached-nursery, Reception and Yr 1, after all... I was patronised in the cloakroom, in front of other parents because, back then, I looked younger than I actually was at the time and she obviously thought she could sneer at me. Unfortunately for her, I was well-versed in standing up for myself/my children, so didn't cower or back down as she sneered "I've been teaching for 30 years!" - well, that's great for you, but you ought to be able to have enough respect for your students to get their names right, then!!! It's been a while, but it still makes me cross.

She was an absolute bitch to the kids in general, though. She was coming up to retirement age, should probably have changed her career when she started to loathe children, made the kids in that class, that year's lives miserable. It was awful when we'd all gather at hometime to see the happy faces of the other Yr 2 class coming out and then our kids' downcast looks. We just had to ride it out. Not one of us gave her any "end of the year" gifts/cards, though. She'd upset our children to the point where we collectively said "nope; not happening". I used the money I would have spent to adopt a leopard through the WWF for my son, instead! Someone else bought their son enough art materials to see out the summer holidays.

That teacher never called my son by his middle name instead of his surname again, though, during the following 2 years she was in the school.

Original poster
ohmyohmy123 · 03/07/2021 14:54

@FuckingFabulous

Which degree of error is it? Like your son is Jimmy and she's calling him Timmy? Or like your son is Jimmy and she's calling him James? Or like your son is Jimmy and she's calling him Matthew?

They're all bad. But I am interested in knowing how wrong she's got it

Like Jimmy and Timmy - just one letter wrong. It's the pronunciation that changes with that letter too though so it doesn't sound the same if that makes sense!
OP posts:
Original poster
ohmyohmy123 · 03/07/2021 14:56

Actually....I guess it's like Robert and Rupert.

OP posts:
Bobholll · 03/07/2021 14:58

My DD gets this at nursery. Her name is not unusual & ends in ‘el’ but nursery are forever using ‘elle’ or because they know it’s not ‘elle’ we get ‘ell’ ..

I’ve made a massive complaint recently as she’s learning to spell & write her name & they are teaching her to do spelt wrong! 🤬 We’ve done lots of work at home so thankfully she does know how it’s spelt but she’s started getting confused & putting an extra ‘l’ on the end or questioning us..

It’s just inexcusable. As a former teacher, I’ve seen all sorts of names & it was very much one of my responsibilities as a teacher to say & spell them correctly!

4PawsGood · 03/07/2021 15:00

@ohmyohmy123

Actually....I guess it's like Robert and Rupert.
That’s really crap.
Pigeonorcoot · 03/07/2021 15:02

Rowan and Roman?

(Sorry being nosey)

Easy to confuse but still pretty crappy from a primary class teacher, especially if they've already been corrected more than once.

modgepodge · 03/07/2021 15:03

Another teacher who types her own reports here - yes a small private school, but the large state school I worked in previously also used MS word to type them…

I once got a child’s name wrong in a newsletter piece celebrating something - I know what her name is, and I actually think my iPad autocorrected it as I just don’t think I’d have typed it. The head and the receptionist both read the newsletter before it went out and neither of them
noticed either. The parent emailed to complain (slightly sarcastically tbh), I just emailed apologising profusely and now always make sure I double check anything I write about her. For a teacher to be repeatedly making this mistake both in writing and verbally after it’s been pointed out is pretty poor.

Notallowedtobesick · 03/07/2021 15:05

Your son will have this all his life. I'm in my thirties and still have to correct people... Constantly

Neighneigh · 03/07/2021 15:08

People get my name wrong all the time, they add a U and get a totally different name. Neither name is hard to pronounce.

At school age the thing is that we tell our children that school is important and you go there to learn and find out about things and in the case of maths, spelling etc, get things "right". So if a school can't even get your child's name right, they're not exactly setting a good example to the child. It's sloppy and yes definitely I would be emailing and asking for a new report with his actual name on

LublinToDublin · 03/07/2021 15:14

Does the teacher call your ds this incorrect name too? Or does she write it incorrectly but say it correctly? (Does she say Robert but somehow think you spell it Rupert ...Confused )

I'm a former primary teacher and can't imagine getting a child's name wrong for 2 years!

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