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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel really down about going to soft play on my own?

53 replies

Pinknailpaint · 02/07/2021 21:56

I’m taking my 3 year old tomorrow, on my own again…I went last week, by myself…and two weeks before, again on my own.
I look around and see people chatting on tables together, friends meeting up and I have no one. I ask the few mum friends I have and they usually say they’re busy doing something else, so can’t make it
Last time I was literally the only person sitting by myself while my son was off playing.

OP posts:

Ilikecheeseontoast · 02/07/2021 21:58

I’m often on my own. My friends nearly all work full time.

HugeAckmansWife · 02/07/2021 21:58

OK this isn't about soft play is it? Did you have friends before baby came along? Is this an issue with you having friends or a possibly Covid related issue with making 'mum friends'?

UserAtLarge · 02/07/2021 21:59

If your son is able to play with minimal supervision, you need to reframe this as some fantastic time to yourself. I used to knit. Soft play conversations are never very satisfactory anyway.

Howcanthisbe123 · 02/07/2021 21:59

I don’t see that as a thing. It makes no difference going on your own or with friends, as it’s soft play, not a night out.

I see going soft play like going to the library or the shops, not something I would do with someone else really.

girlmom21 · 02/07/2021 22:01

I find soft play much more enjoyable on my own. The little one has all my attention whenever she needs or wants it and it means I don't have to make mundane parent conversation.

If you're lonely, though, try and find a local moms meet up?

Stormwhale · 02/07/2021 22:01

Just play with your kid and forget about the others. I have friends, but often take my kids to soft play alone and actually prefer it. We run around the soft play like lunatics and I really think it helps bring me and the kids closer. When I go with friends I feel torn as they want my attention, but my youngest isn't old enough to go in alone really so I am trying to be in two places at once.

Just change the way you look at it to being a fun thing to experience with your child instead of worrying about being there alone. Focus on your boy and he will be so happy you are playing with him. I end up being followed around by the kids whose parents are sitting chatting as they clearly want that interaction.

Quornflakegirl · 02/07/2021 22:01

Think of it as time to yourself, read a book, drink tea and relax. I'm an introvert and the noise of soft play alongside of making conversation with someone just doesn't appeal to me at all!

Basilandparsleyandmint · 02/07/2021 22:02

Don’t feel bad! Is your son bothered - I doubt he is. Just take a book, play on your phone and grab a drink and relax. I used to take my kids on their own from time to time and it wasn’t an issue - often played with them to if they wanted but quite often they got involved with other kids and were happy

MotionActivatedDog · 02/07/2021 22:02

This was my life when my DC were small. I hated it.

Darkstar4855 · 02/07/2021 22:03

I go on my own most of the time. I like being able to focus on my son without having to make polite small talk to other mums.

FilthyforFirth · 02/07/2021 22:05

God I wish my children were old enough to play on their own at softplay. I would relish 30 mins to myself

EmeraldShamrock · 02/07/2021 22:06

Have lunch while there.
I use to go alone too.
I find if you go in the evening when it's quite you get chatting.
I'm in Ireland soft play has been closed since March last year. I'm looking forward to going for lunch and peace.

VodkaSlimline · 02/07/2021 22:06

I ask the few mum friends I have and they usually say they’re busy doing something else, so can’t make it

What happens if you ask the same people to meet up at the park or for some other activity? Not everybody likes soft play because it is hell on earth

GreyhoundG1rl · 02/07/2021 22:08

I'd be perfectly happy to sit with a book, but if you're not, you're not.
Is there anyone else not at work that would go with you?

Quornflakegirl · 02/07/2021 22:08

FilthyforFirth I remember chasing after my toddler twins who would run in different directions then inevitably get stuck and I'd have to rescue them from separate places in the soft play, this happened on repeat for the whole visit. I would be exhausted afterwards and so do not miss those day at all!

Justgettingbye · 02/07/2021 22:09

I know how you feel op. This was me with my first and the sad thing was I had family with babies but they were to tied up with their established friends, we tried to arrange meets but never went through with it.

All I'd say is it made me a stronger person. I've got another baby now and if you were near would be happy to meet up (south west)

I hope you figure something out and don't get too down

NotMyCat · 02/07/2021 22:10

What about ones who aren't mums? I don't have DC but would happily meet up with someone at the park/soft play/wherever

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/07/2021 22:11

I usually go by myself- my 3yr old still requires following round. I have done the odd play date there but tbh you are constantly interrupted and bothered by children (shockingly).
I look forward to when my daughters are older and I sit alone in the cafe with a coffee and a book

Merryoldgoat · 02/07/2021 22:12

I adore a solo soft play!! A book, coffee, a muffin, maybe a podcast, my crochet.

Ahhhhhh.

Hmmmm. I wonder if people would pay for this service? I could take their child and get paid for drinking coffee…

Artesia · 02/07/2021 22:15

It could well not be about you at all. Some of the people you asked might have made a polite excuse as they don't feel comfortable at soft yet- it's a germ pit at the best of times. I've been relatively relaxed about Covid, but wouldn't go to soft play at the moment, especially with the delta variant number, and the spread among children.

BounceyBumblebee · 02/07/2021 22:16

I know how you feel.

I don't actually mind soft play on my own. Often it's awkward with friends when kids run in opposite directions or keep interrupting chat.

But I do feel a pang of jealousy when I see a big group of mums all together chatting. I never found that mum group, and the mums I do go out with, its always just two of us and its always me that makes the effort.

Laiste · 02/07/2021 22:18

@Ilikecheeseontoast

I’m often on my own. My friends nearly all work full time.

This was me back when DD was 3 too. I always felt a bit self conscious. Got used to it though.

DD's 7 now and has a couple of little friends at school who's mums are nice and try to make a few playdates.

Give it time OP. This stage is very short (i know it doesn't feel like it right now) when they start school you might find things slowly pick up.

tallduckandhandsome · 02/07/2021 22:20

Sounds like blissful reading time.

Millionaireinthemaking · 02/07/2021 22:21

Where are you from op?

dopeyduck · 02/07/2021 22:21

I went to soft play with DS on my own today. Actually I'm quite often alone. I like to get out and it's fairly cheap etc. I meet friends sometimes but often go alone. Honestly don't over think it.

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