To be so enraged over a wine glass!!

[Warwicks]

I recently won a voucher in work for £50. I rarely treat myself to nice things so decided to spend it all on lovely things for myself.

I went to TKMaxx and bought pretty cushions, plant pots and two beautiful iridescent wine glasses.

I have taken care of them, washing them carefully and not putting them in the dishwasher.

DH asks if I want a glass of wine and I agreed, said to use my lovely glass. It was towards the back of the cupboard so impatient DH who is always heavy handed anyway, rather than moving other glasses to extricate it carefully obviously pulled on in and snapped the stem in half.

Oh well he shrugged and chucked it in the bin! I feel so upset over a glass!! I told him he needs to buy me another one. He’s always the same, no patience so will pull and push things until they give. He broke our new sensor bin by pressing the sensor in rather than pressing the open button.

Bloody oaf!!! I’ve told him he needs to buy me a new one. Sick of having stuff destroyed. He can’t see why I’m making a big deal over a £3 glass. AIBU?

@Mintjulia

YANBU at all. It isn't the cost, it's the fact that he has so little concern for your things and your feelings.

Yes, he does something that pisses you off and then minimises your feelings. It compounds it.

YANBU he should get you another one.

I'm really clumsy (maybe dyspraxia IDK) but if I broke something of someone's, I'd apologize and get them another.

I had similar, my DH broke a nice gin glass I had. I was having counselling at the time and I remember saying about it…it wasn’t so much about the value of the glass but it was a thoughtful present from someone, I really liked it and he shrugged like it was nothing. As my counsellor said, it’s about someone not valuing something you care about. (I did forgive DH but I was pissed off initially!)

It's not just the wine glass though, it's the fact that he's heavy handed, inpatient and can't be arsed to take more care.

Living as a household with DH and DC who are as spacially challenged as I am (almost knock yourself out by getting cuff caught in door anyone?) I have learned to enjoy delicate things for the (very) brief time they survive in our house. If it lasts more than a week it’s a win. I suggest one of the following:

• taking a pic of delicate things for the 10 mins they survive and shrugging as they shatter.
• getting into a mindset where only elephant-ready items enter the house
• LTB.

We have a mantra in our house as things crumble around us ‘and that’s why we’re not allowed nice things’. I’m just off to deal with the latest breakage...

My oldest friend bought me stained glass wine glasses. My parents house sat (beneficial for them, they used to live in my area so have lots of friends here still) and invited some mates over. One of their mates broke one of these beautiful no longer made glasses. I was%still am-really pissed off. Why didn’t they give him a bog standard glass? Why didn’t I hide them?!

Your DH sounds thoughtless and impatient in general, he needs to be told.

My father is like this. He breaks stuff and even throw things away that to him are just rubbish. He soon stopped when I made him replace everything he broke or threw out. It's not the object but the lack of respect for my things that drove me insane.

Aww that’s a shame OP, I wouldn’t put something like that past my DH too. He’s not one to take care of things either. But not worth upsetting yourself over. When you are next out shopping ask him to replace it.

FFS. That is annoying. He needs to take more care with things that aren't his.

@Fivetimes

I'd take a back to TK Maxx and ask for a refund. Have you kept the receipt?

Why would you do that ?

That’s a shame about the glass OP, perhaps he can find one online to replace it. My DH is the same, and always says “I didn’t meeeeean to” which gives me the rage! Just because he didn’t smash it on purpose doesn’t mean he is absolved from blame if he is so bloody careless!

I’m with you, not a lot of patience for clumsiness and bull in a china shop approach. I’m also very protective over my glasses and mugs 😆 Took me a good year or so before I’d let the other half wash the wine glasses.

@Bksjshsbbev2737

I often feel it’s my stuff that gets easily broken while DH is careful with his so sometimes it looks like I over react to things but it upsets me

Wow. I'd be breaking a few of his things, too. Bullshit you're overreacting.

Does he ever break his own stuff?

I ask because some of us are clumsy. I'm dyspraxic; I do drop things, and honestly, even if I try hard I still do. I'd be really hurt if DP took that as a reason to be angry with me every time. I also find it quite precious when people make enormous fusses about accidents.

But if he manages to treat his own things carefully, then that's different.

I have a jug ornament given to me about 38 years ago by someone that has now passed on. It has survived toddlers and house moves.
DH broke it, didn’t understand me being upset about an old jug, and make a bad job of trying to put it back together.

Not trying to sound sexist but its a common trait in many men I know.

Like the refusing to read the instructions then doing it wrong and breaking something brand new before its even set up but then blaming the item for being 'crap' instead of themselves for not taking 5 minutes to learn how to do it properly.

@SarahAndQuack

Does he ever break his own stuff?

I ask because some of us are clumsy. I'm dyspraxic; I do drop things, and honestly, even if I try hard I still do. I'd be really hurt if DP took that as a reason to be angry with me every time. I also find it quite precious when people make enormous fusses about accidents.

But if he manages to treat his own things carefully, then that's different.

Im severely dyspraxic and dont go around breaking things

If anything my hyper awareness of my condition makes me extra gentle with things.

Oh god this used to give me the absolute fucking rage with my ex.

He just had no respect at all for anything nice, unless it was his precious mountain bike or trainers

I came home from a weekend away once to find that he'd decided to clean out the chip pan (that only he ever used, I hated the bastard thing) and had carefully emptied the oil into the half bottle of extra virgin olive oil. At the time we so so fucking skint, that olive oil was a massive treat that I'd splashed out a whole £3 on, and his response? "It's all oil, it's hardly gold dust, I thought you'd be pleased I cleaned the chip pan out".

Reader, I left him but not for this crime, it took him shagging someone else for me to finally walk

Well, you're clearly a superior human being and it must be wonderful to be you, @mam0918.

However, my presentation of dyspraxia does make me break things and drop things. It's a real bugger. That's why it's down as a disability under the Equality Act - because some of us actually can't just 'be extra gentle' and wave away the problem with a magic wand.

Its not the value thats the big deal, its just the lack of care.

I've still not forgiven my DP for giving me a piece of pottery my dad had seen and thought I would like (an event that happened once in a blue moon).

breaking the piece of pottery I mean

I’m sorry OP.

I totally understand. My DH can also be very clumsy with my stuff. Or stuff that he knows I will pay to replace. Drives me to distraction.

But then i remember all the good stuff he does and that he’s a good man. We just have different perspectives and his essentially boils down to not caring about possessions at all.

@osbertthesyrianhamster

He'd be replacing every single thing he breaks.

Does the OP also have to replace everything she breaks? Things like this happen in homes all the time.

The glass isn't the issue here.

Whilst stuff does break, it’s totally shit treating glassware like a savage and then following it up with a “who gives a shit” reaction.