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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Saturday Night England Match??

463 replies

CityMumma78 · 30/06/2021 23:50

Hey everyone, please help me…
This Saturday we are due to go out with my parents to celebrate their special wedding anniversary. We are going out to a low key basic chain restaurant with our kids and my brother and his kids and we have two tables booked for 7pm. This arrangement has been in place for 1 week and we all live local so no special guests travelling from miles around to attend. Last week when we were arranging the evening we didn’t even consider the Euro fixtures but because England won last night and are playing on Saturday night we REALLY want to watch the game! I asked my parents if they could change the booking by half an hour which would allow us enough time for a leisurely dinner and taking into account the drive home this would enable us to watch the 2nd half. I have checked at the restaurant and there is plenty of availability to make a slightly earlier booking but when I spoke to my parents last night they have refused, point blank refused to change the booking by half an hour from 7pm to 6.30!! There is no reason other than they don’t want to. I haven’t asked them to rearrange the date I just want to bring it forward by 30 minutes but I have been made to feel guilty for even asking and I’m so angry they they can’t be more flexible to allow us to watch just part of the England game in the quarter finals. My husband doesn’t even want to go now.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
katedan · 01/07/2021 09:25

I think you are def being unreasonable,this is your parents special anniversary and the meal was booked before the football. I would be really angry if i was your parents, you sound so selfish.

DancesWithTortoises · 01/07/2021 09:26

Family matters far more than games. YABU.

candyflossss · 01/07/2021 09:27

OP I think considering you are asking for it to be moved forward by half an hour YANBU at all. Like you said, not asking for it to be rearranged completely or saying you're not going.

Honeyroar · 01/07/2021 09:28

They’ll probably have it on in the restaurant anyway. It’s everywhere. And even if they didn’t the Ukraine team feigned injury and dragged the match out by ages when they played Sweden, so you can still catch it.

I feel sorry for your parents. You and your husband have already spoiled their meal by making it feel less important than a football match and wanting to rush off. And it sounds like your husband is going to be resentful even if he goes.

maras2 · 01/07/2021 09:28

citymumma78
There is a Dadsnet.

AnUnoriginalUsername · 01/07/2021 09:29

Tbh I think anniversaries are for celebrating as a couple unless it's a big big one and you have a big party. I'm not into football at all but I do think it's more than just a game.
But I also think you can't bail on a family meal to watch tv. So I dunno, it sucks but you'll have to miss the game.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/07/2021 09:29

@KatherineJaneway

Don't bother going if you're just going to speed through the meal and worry about getting back in time for football

This ^^

I assume this is the parents issue. You basically wolfing it down so you can get home earlier etc. But you'll all just be sneaking off to the loo to Google the score so I'd make it clear to your parents what's more important, cancel and let them enjoy their meal with people who put them ahead of a game
SleepingStandingUp · 01/07/2021 09:30

Also if it's a chain restaurant, do they have screens? It may well be on

Zilla1 · 01/07/2021 09:32

It sounds like they'll never change their unreasonable expectations, OP. LC and grey rock?

Bibidy · 01/07/2021 09:32

I also have other plans on Saturday night - tickets to something starting at 7pm so can't just duck out or rearrange.

I am disappointed but also it's not the final. So either England lose in which case I don't need to see it (!!) or we win and I can watch the next game :)

C8H10N4O2 · 01/07/2021 09:32

The tournament is a major enough event in your family that you want to change a special anniversary dinner but not important enough that you didn't look at the match timetable before you booked it just last week? Hmm

There is a dadsnet btw.

ChainJane · 01/07/2021 09:32

YANBU. I'm still fucked off about missing the 1997 European Grand Prix when I was a teenager because we had to go visit family.

Yes I VHS'd it but it's not the same thing.

LeSquigh · 01/07/2021 09:35

YANBU AT ALL. But they probably aren’t being unreasonable either if they don’t like football. We have something that’s been booked for ages on Saturday night too. I am definitely going to be watching the football, my DP is still deciding what he’s going to do!

Schrutesbeets · 01/07/2021 09:38

YANBU OP. Sounds like they're being a bit spiteful and stubborn.
Fwiw I'm not remotely arsed about football, but others are and it's important to them, so I would change it.

Jumpingintosummer · 01/07/2021 09:39

For the last special anniversary in our family we travelled a thousand mile round trip over a weekend just to have a family meal out on the Saturday then a few quiet drinks and catch up in the lounge afterwards. I was 8mths pregnant and still made the effort. Next special anniversary should have been last week, only one of them is sadly no longer with us. There will always be another football match.

DataColour · 01/07/2021 09:40

YANBU!

I don't even watch football usually but will watch England pay in a quarter final! We're meant to have had friends round for a games night at 8pm, but rearranged for 5pm so that we can watch the match.

Although if it's a special anniversary, that s a bit tricky.

WTFisNext · 01/07/2021 09:43

Honestly you don't sound like your bothered about your parents and their feelings at all so just cancel and watch your beloved football.

This time last year it was inconceivable that we'd be in the countdown to losing one of my parents but here we are. You can't ever take back the time you ditched them for superficial stuff and you might never get to make up for upsetting them...but crack on and make them feel second best.

Schrutesbeets · 01/07/2021 09:43

@Jumpingintosummer

For the last special anniversary in our family we travelled a thousand mile round trip over a weekend just to have a family meal out on the Saturday then a few quiet drinks and catch up in the lounge afterwards. I was 8mths pregnant and still made the effort. Next special anniversary should have been last week, only one of them is sadly no longer with us. There will always be another football match.
That sounds like hell 😂
Schrutesbeets · 01/07/2021 09:44

@WTFisNext

Honestly you don't sound like your bothered about your parents and their feelings at all so just cancel and watch your beloved football.

This time last year it was inconceivable that we'd be in the countdown to losing one of my parents but here we are. You can't ever take back the time you ditched them for superficial stuff and you might never get to make up for upsetting them...but crack on and make them feel second best.

Or they could compromise, as OP has suggested.
ForeverAintEnough3 · 01/07/2021 09:44

The whole ‘I only want to move it by 30 mins AIBU’ is such a red herring.

What the night was supposed to be: meet at restaurant, have a nice meal, relax, chat, maybe order coffees/drinks after having ate. Celebrate parents special day

What OP wants: meet early, big rush to eat, run home ASAP, keep eye on clock to make sure as little of the match is missed as possible, leg it home for some football, sod the parents special day.

Auntienumber8 · 01/07/2021 09:46

Sport is very important to many people. On MN some women have suffered due to sport as their partners have used sport as an excuse to neglect them. There have also been a few threads over the years talking about PE at school and hardly anyone admitted to enjoying it. It doesn’t seem that much of a pro sports site. I’m in your camp and football isn’t even what I love it’s all about cricket and hockey for me.

There was an England cricket match on our wedding day and a screen was in the bar next to our reception room. Loads of us popped in at various times to look, this was pre mobile phone days.

Auntienumber8 · 01/07/2021 09:47

I meant to say YANBU.

singlehun · 01/07/2021 09:48

Yeah this isn't fair. They'll feel pretty flat if their special evening ends at 8.30om.

But now youve asked they'll know you're itching to leave so youve probably messed up already I'm afraid

SchrodingersImmigrant · 01/07/2021 09:48

@Auntienumber8

Sport is very important to many people. On MN some women have suffered due to sport as their partners have used sport as an excuse to neglect them. There have also been a few threads over the years talking about PE at school and hardly anyone admitted to enjoying it. It doesn’t seem that much of a pro sports site. I’m in your camp and football isn’t even what I love it’s all about cricket and hockey for me.

There was an England cricket match on our wedding day and a screen was in the bar next to our reception room. Loads of us popped in at various times to look, this was pre mobile phone days.

Not all sport is. Many people who are now doing "omg must watch the match" were nowhere to be found at earlier matches. If someone doesn't give a fuck until the big one, they should just shhsss.
thecatsthecats · 01/07/2021 09:49

I'm in the "You clearly can't be much of a fan" camp.

I'm not much of a fan (I was rooting for Germany, as we'd have been able to set off a day sooner on holiday if they'd won!).

But I could identify all the potential fixtures last week and arrange options for seeing them on holiday.

Either England lose and you're better off out of it, or they win and you've got another match. (July 7th, if that helps).

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