To not make nephew 1st birthday

[rosepetalbed]

I have already said we would go but since then dh has said the only week he can get off for the whole summer from work is the same week the party is so now we are thinking to try to get out of it but feel bad.

But not bad enough...

Of course you should go on holiday.

No discussion.

I'd be pissed off if any of my siblings even considered missing out on a holiday to attend one of my kids birthday parties.

(In fact I'd think they were idiotic!!)

@Yaykyay

I adore my nieces and can't imagine even wanting to do this. But I guess if you're not bothered then it doesn't matter if you're there.

You can't even imagine wanting to go on a WEEKS holiday with your own family rather than attend a one year old's birthday party for one half day? No doubt you are just more loving, self sacrificing and adoring than the rest of us 🙄

@MimiSunshine

Wait. You have children and so if you don’t go away that week they would t get a holiday at all?

Sorry but anyone who thinks the 1 year old party trumps other children having a holiday are nuts.

Just make sure you tell your family that your children would miss the only holiday they could.

I don't think it that much matters whether the OP has children or not. Childless aunts and uncles are also allowed to make plans which clash with family members, it's not all about whether lickle children are affected. Although of course the MORE people affected the more bonkers it would be to choose the birthday party.

Go on holiday!

If you ever do have children and a family member doesn't show up for their birthday party, you can not show the slightest bit of annoyance about it or you'll be reminded all over again how you missed this one - families never forget

@MondeoFan

I'd go to the birthday support your sister and nephew, a 1st birthday is quite a big deal. He won't ever have another 1st birthday

Well that is true but he also won't have another 2nd, 3rd, 4th birthday etc. Etc. He will have other birthday, they just won't be the first.

My daughters first birthday was spent just me, DH and older DD so maybe I'm just jealous.

@MondeoFan

I'd go to the birthday support your sister and nephew, a 1st birthday is quite a big deal. He won't ever have another 1st birthday

What “support” do you envision a grown woman needing on the occasion of her child’s birthday?

@theleafandnotthetree I agree but I just meant that the parents of said PFB should at least understand the reason I gave or at least can’t really argue with it as they sound the type that wouldnt agree

I would go but suggest you organise a special meet up to make a birthday fuss just before or after the holiday.

@topwings

Go on holiday!

If you ever do have children and a family member doesn't show up for their birthday party, you can not show the slightest bit of annoyance about it or you'll be reminded all over again how you missed this one - families never forget

OP has already stated that I wouldn't have expected the same in return of course none of the above made it to my pfb 1st birthday but I didn't care as much so it's not really the same I suppose.

So she already knows how important 1st birthday parties are within the family....

none of the above made it to my pfb 1st birthday

So no need to overcompensate with extra gifts then. Match their effort.

@tallduckandhandsome

none of the above made it to my pfb 1st birthday

So no need to overcompensate with extra gifts then. Match their effort.

Exactly, I'd not be taking your cue from their over the top expectations but from how they were when yours were small. Going to some great extra effort makes it seem like you have something to feel guilty about, which you don't. I'd give a normal type of gift, it might be nice to do a meet up but I wouldn't worry yourself unduly.

Go on holiday!

Ffs like the child knows anything about the birthday 🙄

Just blag it and say your dh booked something as a surprise for that week, you just found out, it's non refundable so you can't not go and it's not possible to change dates, it's either you go or lose money. Sometimes the only way with some people is to lie, as the truth won't make the situation any better