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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left DD with my brother?

102 replies

matataka · 29/06/2021 18:33

I had to go to an appointment today and then I was meeting a friend. My mum was going to look after DD(1yo) but she had to cover someone at work.

No one else could have her but then my brother (15, 16 in a few weeks) offered. I didn't think it was a problem as he is mature and he has looked after her before for maybe half an hour/ an hour.

I told my friend and she told me that I shouldn't have left my DD with a boy who's a child himself and that no teenage boy wants to look after a baby.

I was gone for about 3 hours and DD was fine! He said he took her to the park and he'd fed her and when I got back she was playing.

WIBU?

OP posts:
mam0918 · 29/06/2021 19:53

Hes old enough to have a child of his own - people need to stop babying young adults they are pefectly capable of being adults.

Bigassbeebuzzbuzz · 29/06/2021 19:54

Dbro was only 13/14 when I had my dc and used to love looking after them if I nipped into town or ran an errand. He wouldnt until they were moving about but he was fine and loved it

SquigglePigs · 29/06/2021 19:56

I thought you were completely reasonable to begin with but once you said you all used to live together so he's known her who since she was born, I can't understand why anyone would think it was a bad idea. Also your brother sounds lovely to have done that for his sister.

godmum56 · 29/06/2021 20:03

YA absolutely NBU what a lovely uncle!

currentlynotavailable · 29/06/2021 20:07

My nephew is 13 and would happily look after my 8 month old for an hour or two. Not sure I'd let him till DS is a little older but DN has already asked if he can babysit one day!
At 15 almost 16 I see no issue at all.

Seesawmummadaw · 29/06/2021 20:43

It’s really sweet of him. My 15 year old is great with his niece, better than my 18 year old!

MadMadMadamMim · 29/06/2021 20:47

Your friend clearly doesn't know many teenage boys. They are brilliant (generally) with babies and toddlers. They find it very easy to bring themselves cheerfully down to that level to play with them.

saraclara · 29/06/2021 20:51

@cadburyegg

YANBU. Sounds like your friend thought it was a bad idea because he was a boy, not because he was 15. Very sexist.
Yep. I bet she's not have turned a hair if it had been a 15 year old girl.
neroforte · 29/06/2021 20:53

i’m 16 with my own baby, as far as i know he hasn’t suffered from being in a 16 year olds care 24/7 as of yet!

Hankunamatata · 29/06/2021 20:57

Absolutely fine.

Kanaloa · 29/06/2021 20:59

I had a baby at that age so I imagine he was fine. I think a lot of people underestimated teenagers, when I have worked in preschools we frequently have apprentices who are 16/17. And if he was happy with it there’s no problem.

Kanaloa · 29/06/2021 21:00

As for your friend saying no teenager wants to babysit - if he didn’t want to he wouldn’t have offered!

JivingCoffeeCup · 29/06/2021 21:08

Yanbu. I think it depends on the maturity of the individual. My brother is 35 and I wouldn't leave my DS with him. In my experience age is irrelevant and maturity is everything.

2bazookas · 29/06/2021 21:11

Lucky baby to have such a nice uncle.
I often babysat at 15.

PoppyFern · 29/06/2021 21:13

My mother was pregnant at 15 and landed with a newborn not long after.

It does depend on the person but he sounds great.

whynotwhatknot · 29/06/2021 21:25

my dsis wont leave her 13 year old with her 6 year old longer than an hour but i think it really depends n the maturity of the kid

ivfgottwins · 29/06/2021 21:32

YANBU to leave her with him for an appointment but YABU to meet the friend afterwards....

Standrewsschool · 29/06/2021 21:35

Perfectly fine to babysit at that age.

SprinklesMcDoodles · 29/06/2021 21:36

She’s your child and you obviously know your brother well. If you think he’s responsible enough to look after her then he is!

billy1966 · 29/06/2021 21:50

He sounds like a great young man.

Xmassprout · 29/06/2021 21:52

Did she have an issue because he is a boy? Would she have been happier if it he was a girl?

I'm sure your brother would have been more than capable of saying if he didn't want to help

Skyla2005 · 29/06/2021 21:54

What a lovely young boy well done to him ! You did nothing wrong

thyroidhelp · 29/06/2021 22:03

WTh I would look after my brother at 10 years old. This is the exact reason children are unable to do anything these days because we debate leaving them with a baby at 16 years old!

If a 16 year old can't watch a baby then I don't know what the world has come to

thyroidhelp · 29/06/2021 22:04

I also think your fried is sexist - as another poster suggested she likely wouldn't bat an eyelid if he was a girl

ChampionOfTheSun · 29/06/2021 22:35

My brother is 14 and I'd absolutely trust him to watch my daughter for an hour or two, she'd have a brilliant time with him. I was babysitting for my DM and her friends at 13. I was born old though, as my nan liked to say Grin