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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left DD with my brother?

102 replies

matataka · 29/06/2021 18:33

I had to go to an appointment today and then I was meeting a friend. My mum was going to look after DD(1yo) but she had to cover someone at work.

No one else could have her but then my brother (15, 16 in a few weeks) offered. I didn't think it was a problem as he is mature and he has looked after her before for maybe half an hour/ an hour.

I told my friend and she told me that I shouldn't have left my DD with a boy who's a child himself and that no teenage boy wants to look after a baby.

I was gone for about 3 hours and DD was fine! He said he took her to the park and he'd fed her and when I got back she was playing.

WIBU?

OP posts:
namechange30455 · 29/06/2021 19:20

@klangers

Why wasn't your brother in school?
Year 11s have left round here. And the OP isn't necessarily in England.

Was your friends objection based on him only being 15 or him being a boy?

Fitforforty · 29/06/2021 19:21

As long as he can manage nappy changes then it’s fine.

motogogo · 29/06/2021 19:22

It's fine, it's her uncle, he offered. If he was female nobody would blink at them babysitting. At that age I was babysitting a lot

Pollypudding · 29/06/2021 19:22

YANBU and your brother sounds like a lovely uncle

FrankButchersDickieBow · 29/06/2021 19:24

Absolute rubbish. I was looking after a few kids in school holidays at that age.

I would deffo trust my 16yo nephew with a 1yo.

He is very responsible and smart. I obvs wouldn't if they were an immature divvy.

AliasGrape · 29/06/2021 19:25

I have a nearly one year old and my first thought reading the OP was thinking oh no I couldn't do that, maybe for the appointment but I'd have cancelled the lunch.

But then I remembered that I was looking after my nieces and nephews from age 13, by 15 I often looked after 4 of them at a time until quite late at night.

Its fine, you know your brother and if he's responsible enough and he was clearly happy to do it, presumably he could have reached you/ your mum if needed.

PumpkinKlNG · 29/06/2021 19:26

Wow really, my nephew use to look after 3 of my kids at 15-16 for a few hours

hedgehogger1 · 29/06/2021 19:27

Some people have their own kids at that age!

PumpkinKlNG · 29/06/2021 19:27

Some 16 year olds that have their own kids!

Aquamarine1029 · 29/06/2021 19:29

If a nearly 16 year old can't manage to properly watch a 1 year old for a few hours, there's a problem.

WhatisanODP · 29/06/2021 19:30

It’s absolutely fine!

CagneyNYPD · 29/06/2021 19:30

What a lovely opportunity for your brother to spend some time with his own niece. Your brother sounds like a lovely lad.

Your friend's reaction is a bit odd.

StopGo · 29/06/2021 19:31

What a lovely brother you have. I bet he's a great uncle to your DD

TheMotherlode · 29/06/2021 19:31

It depends on the 15 year old really doesn’t it. You know your brother and if you trust him then YANBU to leave your DD with him. He sounds like he did a great job.

My thinking for who I will leave DD with is generally based on how I think they would cope if something went wrong like if she started choking or hurt herself. Do you think your brother would be able to manage if something had happened?

Smartiepants79 · 29/06/2021 19:33

If course you’re not being unreasonable there are quite a lot of 15/16 year old fathers out there…
He sounds like a lovely brother and a fabulous uncle! Lucky DD!!

BillyIsMyBunny · 29/06/2021 19:34

YANBU. I bet she wouldn’t even have questioned it if he was your sister and not your brother.

Conchitastrawberry · 29/06/2021 19:35

Sounds like they had a lovely time! Great that he offered too and got to bond with his niece. Your friend is ridiculous.

Original poster
matataka · 29/06/2021 19:35

I wasn't expecting him to take her out, but the park isn't very far.

I obviously wouldn't have left her that long if she was a newborn! But I didn't see a problem as she's 1 and doesn't really cry (unless she's unwell or very tired). He has looked after her before aswell and he was 14 when she was born and me and DD still live with my mum so he's been around her since she was a newborn.

OP posts:
Sally872 · 29/06/2021 19:35

Your friend needs to stop being judgy. Completely a parents decision, you wouldn't have left dc if your brother was capable/sensible/practical.

Lovely of your brother to offer. I have offered to have my sisters children when needed even when I haven't wanted to because family help each other. So even if he didn't want to doesn't mean it is wrong to leave dc for an appointment when he offered.

LincolnshireLassInLondon · 29/06/2021 19:41

YANBU - He's her uncle, he offered and presumably he knows her well. It sounds like your DD had a lovely time.

ShitPoetryClub · 29/06/2021 19:42

But he's a BOY Shock
BOYS can't be expected to look after children.
Very irresponsible of you OP, especially on a day when the football was on.
Next time ask a girl.
For safety.

BiddyPop · 29/06/2021 19:46

By that age, I had moved from babysitting 2 young DCs (about 2 and 5) to including a small baby after a short break for newborn stage. Parents went out regularly for the evening and often it was until early hours of the morning so I had a couple of bedtimes (middle would be in bed, eldest often not and baby generally ready but not in bed), bottles, nappy changes etc to sort.

BiddyPop · 29/06/2021 19:47

And 3 good friends (they were brothers), who were active scouts and nice lads generally, had the babysitting market sewn up in their suburban estate at the same time and made a fortune!

gracelessladyhottramp · 29/06/2021 19:49

I think that's lovely and they'll probably grow up to have a special relationship because you've trusted him with her from such a young age.

Paddingtonitspaddingtonbear · 29/06/2021 19:50

I was looking after 2 under 5 year olds at that age (nieces) so it's fine! Sounds like he did a good job to be honest