To do everything around the house

[Clappingforjoy]

Is it acceptable for me to do all housework, shopping and work 30 hrs a week and for dp who has a very strenuous hard physical job to only do that and nothing else.
I also drop and pick him up from work when I'm not working.
Am I a mug or is this acceptable there are no children.

I'm just wondering as his job is hard and I feel guilty asking him to do anything dp collapses on the sofa and tats on his phone when he comes in and I generally wait on him as I am in alot earlier or off.

If you weren't living together who would wash his clothes, purchase and cook his food and clean his home?

The voting is not clear.

I don't think you should be doing it all. How would he have mabaged without you? Chores and housework has to shared more, you cannot be his maid.

Depends. I'm assuming he works 40 hours a week?

If you work 30 hours and the house stuff takes 10 or less, then yes, you would both be working equal hours and having equal
amounts of leisure time, if that's the way you choose to divvy things up

How many hours does he work? Does he contribute more to the finances?

Mug.

This is when and why people get a cleaner

if you are happy with it and he pulls his weight in other ways then sure whatever works for you x

@Iggly

Mug.

I think that's very mean Iggly.

Why can't he do stuff at the weekends?

I voted YABU because I think you are unreasonable to do everything

It's true though.

I think it depends how many hrs work he does? and how many hrs housework do you do? I don't think what paid work he actually does is relevant beyond how many hrs paid work does.

That was for twisterd.

Stop taking him to and from work for a start!!
But other than that if you're physically at home when he's working then I think it's fair to use that time to tidy around... But ONLY if money is split evenly, otherwise you're doing unpaid labour and he is not.

Why does it matter what anyone else thinks, if you are happy then that's all that matters. I'm sure as a fully grown adult you know the pros and cons of a set up like that.

Why are you waiting on him though? How has that come about?

You're his partner, not his maid. He should not be doing significantly less than he would have to as a single man.

Are you happy doing it?
How are finances split?
Do you have equal leisure time?
What happens on days off?

I wouldn't consider it to be reasonable. I think such severely unbalanced relationships breed resentment and contempt over time.
I think if you are part of making the mess, you are part of clearing up the mess.

Are you happy doing it or would you rather he helped? Im quite old fashioned and do all the housework and childcare and have a part-time job while DH does his very physical and demanding job and thats it. I wait on the family hand on food but I enjoy it and feel satisfied doing it. I don't feel like a mug because it makes me happy to do it. I know it's not a view many people take anymore but it works for us 😌

When you say wait on him, what exactly do you mean op?

Stop it now. Assuming you pay your way, this situation is setting you up to fail. Put kids in the mix and this will end in divorce. What job does he do that he’s to exhausted to boil pasta and put a wash load on?

Do you want kids in the future OP? If so you should definitely nip this in the bud, even if you don't mind it now you will quickly get resentful when you're doing all of this plus everything for the children and he's still only doing his job.

Everything, no, but I think the person who works the fewest hours should pick up the bulk of the household chores. In our house, it’s therefore DP who does the most chores. He agrees it’s fair. We also have no DC and housework averages out as an hour or so a day maximum. I can’t think what he’d do which would make his part-time working hours plus chore hours even remotely similar to my full-time working hours, to be honest.