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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was DH right in saying this?

127 replies

openseason22 · 29/06/2021 14:44

I'm just wondering what others think of this

DS 21 went out for a walk for about 30 minutes, he normally takes his phone with him when he goes out but on this occasion he left it on charge at home as he says it was nearly flat. While he was out, DH saw his phone was on charge and when DS returned DH gave him a mini lecture on how silly and potentially dangerous it was to not take his phone with him as he could have tripped and fell over and hurt himself or been attacked.

I'm just wondering whether DH was right in saying this or is he treating DS as a child.

OP posts:
Standrewsschool · 29/06/2021 16:33

Your dh made a conscious, and adult decesion to charge his phone. I guess a few words about how it’s preferable to carry a phone with you is acceptable, but a full on rant, no.

Tal45 · 29/06/2021 16:33

I don't even own one. I'd better stop going out if you listen to some people on here.

GenitaliaNotGender · 29/06/2021 16:37

DH is totally U. How did your adult DS react to his "mini lecture"? I sometimes forget my phone and I'm epileptic. In the event of a seizure in public people would generally use their own phones to dial 999 instead of rooting in my bag! I do have my ICE contacts on my Lock Screen, but also have a medic bracelet and in all honesty I would rather DH get a call from the hospital when I am already there, rather than someone in the street. IME paramedics look at bracelets not phones.

I would not take at all well to being lectured by another adult. I also wouldn't dream of lecturing my adult DC about taking their phones, I would be pleased they are comfortable enough to live without their phone for more than three seconds.

How was your DS about it?

GenitaliaNotGender · 29/06/2021 16:39

I also very much dislike people being advised to take their phones so they are contactable by others, not just so they can contact others (if that makes sense?) People should not be "on call" all the time.

I would like to say most of us could do with using our phones less, but I would be a massive fucking hypocrite as I'm using mine right now Grin

Twistered · 29/06/2021 16:40

dh is being a bit ott. Your son is an adult.

FatCatThinCat · 29/06/2021 16:43

What DID we do in the millions of years before mobile phones.

We had super smart dogs and kangeroos and dolphins to protect us.

Snoken · 29/06/2021 16:47

DH needs to stop projecting his anxiety to your son. It’s so unhealthy and irrational.

Bitofachinwag · 29/06/2021 16:47

@FatCatThinCat

What DID we do in the millions of years before mobile phones.

We had super smart dogs and kangeroos and dolphins to protect us.

Awwww :)
Original poster
openseason22 · 29/06/2021 16:49

DH did not rant at DS, I mean I don't know if it was a mini lecture but DH just told DS it's a good idea to have a phone with him. He was saying how DS is an adult and he shouldn't need reminding that he needs to have his phone on him when he goes out.

DS apologized and said he'd make sure to have his phone on him in future

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 29/06/2021 16:52

If he recognises that Ds is an adult, he should be aware that a "mini lecture" is not necessary.

GenitaliaNotGender · 29/06/2021 16:54

"DS apologized and said he'd make sure to have his phone on him in future"

He is 21. He is an adult. In all honesty, I would worry if my DCs had apologised to their father for this, when they were 21...

DianeCherry · 29/06/2021 16:57

At 21 he should be making his own mind up about whether he takes his phone with him and not be told what to do.

That said, a parent of a 21 year old can offer an opinion. But only that.

ancientgran · 29/06/2021 16:58

@PeskyRooks

Ffs how did we manage to leave the house in the 80's???
I'm always being told it's because there just wasn't crime back then which is a revelation to me as I was working in a police station in an inner city area then and I swear we thought there was crime. We were obviously deluded.
chickenyhead · 29/06/2021 17:01

I go out without my phone all of the time. As an adult I can do that.

TroublesomeTrucks · 29/06/2021 17:02

I feel really uncomfortable going out in the car without my phone these days, in case I get stuck at the side of the road with no way of calling for help - but years ago I used to do it all the time before mobiles were so ubiquitous. So I can see both sides!

Chickychoccyegg · 29/06/2021 17:06

Hahahaha, i would tell dh to get a grip, how ridiculous, do none of you ever leave the house for a walk or nip to the shop without your phone?

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 29/06/2021 17:10

Wow. This is utterly insane.

Your DH is treating your DS like a child. An adult is perfectly entitled to go out without a phone if they so choose.

DarkDarkNight · 29/06/2021 17:11

Over the top. Until quite recently in history we all managed to go for walks without mobile phones on us.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 29/06/2021 17:13

@Standrewsschool

Your dh made a conscious, and adult decesion to charge his phone. I guess a few words about how it’s preferable to carry a phone with you is acceptable, but a full on rant, no.
Why is it preferable to carry a phone? And why on earth would it be okay to 'have a few words' with an adult about it?

Stuff like this make me feel very old. I went out without a phone throughout the 80s, 90s and early 00s, and continue to do so occasionally now.

lap90 · 29/06/2021 17:15

Was it a daytime walk? Does sound a bit OTT.

RowanAlong · 29/06/2021 17:15

If he was out for a walk in a high crime area, maybe? But still a bit OTT to tell off a grown-up child.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 29/06/2021 17:16

If he was out for a walk in a high crime area, wouldn't the phone make him a potential target? Better to have nothing to rob.

EveryoneIsThere · 29/06/2021 17:19

You DH sounds patronizing and irritating. I’m amazed your son felt he needed to apologise to your DH. Do you all pander to him at other times.

My husband can’t help but remind me to dribble carefully when I go on a trip. It’s incredibly annoying.

AlternativePerspective · 29/06/2021 17:21

I don’t like this idea that we should all be contactable all of the time, and that if we don’t there’s something wrong with that.

E.g. I see posts on here from people complaining that friends/family haven’t replied to their text messages straightaway, why should they?

I carry my phone with me but that is my choice. I do have a serious medical condition and I know that if e.g. my mum tried to get hold of me and couldn’t she would worry. But if I chose to go out without my phone I certainly wouldn’t apologise for it.

As for your DH telling DS he’s an adult and shouldn’t need reminding to take his phone, your DS’ response should be “yes, I am an adult, and don’t need reminding to take my phone out, because I don’t need to take my phone out.

People were murdered before the invention of mobile phones, and shock horror, people are still murdered, and as far as I’m aware, a mobile phone does not prevent that from happening.

your DH needs to get a grip.

AlternativePerspective · 29/06/2021 17:25

My husband can’t help but remind me to dribble carefully when I go on a trip. It’s incredibly annoying. tbh I don’t necessarily think that is patronising. If my parents drive home from here I like to know that they’ve got home safely and they do me. But that’s not because either of us thinks the other is incapable, it’s because we care that they’ve arrived home, iyswim.

I don’t tell them to drive carefully, but they do ring when they’re home.